jus woke up from a long dream.. when all else dint go well for me. I tot sleepin would be a good remedy to cast reality aside. It dint, infact it showed me all my fears came true.. I cant imagine if comes true. Guess my life will be twice as miserable compared to the current.
Now sitting alone is the room typing. Feelin tat lappie is my only fren. Someone who will let me talk to , someone who wouldnt leave me alone for other reasons only during reformatting. The house is big wif so mani pple, bt none i can share.
Im jus like a prisoner waiting to be sentenced. If outcome is bad, I will haf to restart from zero n start afresh which may require great courage. Which always seems so tough. If outcome is good, i may have to keep living in guilt& pain but havin needless the start fm zero.
so which sentence should i pray for?
these daz had been alone most of e time..& thru it i discovered more & more objective in thinking.It was a dull monday. AFter class, went library to choose some books & headed to canteen to packet dinner for one. As i was sitting alone at the atrium, eating dinner wif my earphones on, reading the books i borrowed. I felt so occupied n satisfied wif the feeling. It helps to cast worries aside n allowed me to discover the me tt was burried under tonnes of fear,unease& lonely me.
I felt so warm when i heard one fren of mine who isnt close to be tt i nv tot his one sentence could instantly made all my loneliness & unease instantly vanish. A simple " studying alone? dun study till too late ah?" maybe it was in mandarin so e feelin was more warming. Thanks CASEy. guess u nv tot tt unintention/intention sentence ended my day wif a smile.
Was reading thru the books & saw some quotes that i personally like it very much, which i would like to share.
Happiness is a butterfly which, when pursued,is always beyond our grasp,but which, if u will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ---
Nathaniel HawthorneIf only we'd stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time. ---
Edith WhartonSeems like e aimless me who always pursues my desired happiness, its time to sit down for a rest. Wad about u ?