Wednesday, June 13, 2007;
e
verything has ended.. e past few months had been crucial period of my life.. I aged & grew up like 10 yrs over the period. E audit paper brought us together, i cherish the days or perhaps jus e 24 hrs. He is gone for 4 daz n still counting.. I gt my dream come true, a job of a lifeguard at mountfaber safra as a part time. my exams are over, my study life is over, love is over.. all i wanted i haf them all.. Im contented & reli im. But my heart is sinking inch deeper with every word im typing right now.Lost maybe.. i dUnno yLost 4kg over e past 1 month. Cried buckets too. Every day i talk to buddha.. i talk to god.. asking them to pull me through. Night mares over n over everynite... Urge to puke every mouth of food tat was suppose to heal my empty stomach. At that time , i really wana jus slp n die. Not havin him ard me for the past few months had been tough n real tough. Exams were extra burden. Im sure it applies to him. Im sorry dear, i made u go through so much pain.. sure u suffered more den me. Well hope everything goess well for u in thai, norther thai n laos.. enjoy ur one month! see u in no time..mani think life guard sounds cool huh.. bt nw i noe it is so stressful n sian! When i stare at e pool for 6.5 hrs a day i start to dream.. when i dream im worried tt somethin might happen.. N frankly i cant rem my cpr for children n infants.. or i shld say i guess i cant rem if anithin were to happen. pls dun.. Im gonna pray b4 i leave for wk everyday. Every morning on train i wld read my life saving manual. On my first day of wk, i was so engross tt i missed my station n bus stop..! i lose my bm cert.. i cant rem where isit.. i reli had a bird brain lea.. cant stand myself! i nid to make a police report n redo one which cost 50 !! so ex!! maybe i shld quit e job.. den can save 50! heh heh!.. guess im gett in more isolated these dayz. Im nt interested to nOe my new colleagues im nt interested in shopping with others.. i shop alone n talk to myself.. n i get more n more depress as i shop, i wonder y? m i goin mad?? n y out of a sudden i see so mani loveli couples infront of me ? sitting on one another's lap on train. hugging each other in pool ? .. dad bringing their kids to swim aft wk ? my dad nv did tt in my life!!! .. sometime i feel my life so incomplete.. no childhood,no exciting night life, (a cinderella tat rushes every nite n lies so often wif guilt) n may nt be able to haf babies nxt time.. wonder will i marry haa.. im too picky n lousy huh..mood for todae : im drunk! (emotionally)i wana meet so so so mani pple bt they arent free or bother to meet me i guess.. so wad r frens for ? aniwae.. will be workin at safra on tues n fri 3-9.30.. pple hu care can pop by.. nites out..
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
2:04 AM
The QUEEN of DRAMA
iTs all abouT mE, WO & mE!! :)
Moi likes and dislikes.
[[`*My Adores]]
Food:Prawn Mee soup,salted veg duck soup,seafood tomyam,sting ray, kangkung, chilli sotong & balck pepper crab!!
Drinks: Heaven&Earth orange&green tea
Pastimes: sleep,shop, slack,dream,music
People:GrANdma & Dolly
[[`*My Detests]]
People: hypocrites, backstabbers,hao lian-ers
Things: insects!
Food: bitterguard,carrot
Moi current obssessions hmmm... tinking in progree..
[[`*Music'sPlaying]]
Artist:sammi cheng
Song:song of love