oranchee memories

2008-06-03T09:57:00.000-07:00

everynight i feel like erupting when im on the phone

everyday i have so much to share

but on phone... nothing i want to say

sometimes tings jus cant be reciprocal

humans can never be satisfied

work is eundurance...

sure my endurance is building up but i wont know when it is running out

i have never cursed so much in the past now.. it is a daily activity

living up to expectations is squeezing me....

all i want to do is to

drop my heels, run on the field..

when im tired lie on the grass and look up at the clouds.. forming into different formations..

elephant.. ? rabbit ? or MONSTER.

:)

2008-01-22T00:11:00.000-08:00

what goes around comes around..
i always believe in retribution.

sometimes is nt about who let who down or in wrong..
somethings when tings happen, it can never be erased off, forever there wil be the cut.

it took so much courage and effort to make the first step...
i tot tis feelin has left me and never will be back bt again im wrong.

i rem a fren of mine send me an email, it says "when you are in doubt,take small steps"

i guess thats probably the best way out.

work is suffocating
body is suffocating
situations are surpressing
everyone wans tis n tat fm me..
when will i get wad i really wan n need.

i noe i wil be strong.
i can be on my feet on my own again! tis time much stronger than the last!

n i wana love myself more coz no one else wil love me more den myself.

i know the day where the misty clouds disperse, i will see my warm and sunny sun ray.

2008-01-15T00:50:00.000-08:00

我想對那關心我的人說, 我好好.
真的好,不要担心..

這幾個月來,我的人生有了改變
新的人物進入了我的世界,
而相同的,也有幾個好友漸漸疏遠了.
有點傷心

新的進來不致何時,要離我而去
所以我選檡保留回憶..
它是最珍貴的 !

總算有個固定的工作
但這可得來不易
這是用了爭扎,心酸,內疚和努力換來的...
也可能是爸媽為我集德,換來的
不論如何,這次我是幸運的,真的幸運
即然我已經選檡了,我會勇敢,努力的走下去..
不可以對不起他们
加油!

有時,一個人的時候是寂寞的
那天晚上,發冷,發湯,喉咙痛時真得很難受!
好想有個肩膀靠靠..
但這麼樣才能找到對的肩膀?
有或許,你覺得不可能是對的,或許就是對的..
人最大的問題就是想太多!
哈哈.. 開心就好
不在乎天長地久,只在乎曾經佣有 ... 哈哈

記得上次發燒在台國, 第一次發燒.. 媽媽在酒店照顧我什麼地方都沒去
很馨為,
媽媽從小為我的付出,受的苦和委屈 ,我會勞記在心.
沒她我都不可能活到現在
前天,很對我起她,很愧疚.
其實真的很愛你.

天阿! 我很多人要提有很多話好想說!
也有好想某些人....
感觸可真多阿今天
是不是要死了哈哈

今天我再等人了四十多分鐘的當兒,
有了一些蚑發. . .

題目是男人 (MAN)
男人要的是什麼?
車?
錢?
性?
還是愛?
還有能撒種的洞 ?

男人長說不知道奴人要什麼
和常奴人知道要什麼
維一的不同就是男人不去思考,只用嘴吧問..
而奴人要的很簡單,不是浪漫,錢或花
是男人的用心!
奴人不說是因為不要男人為了做而做..
而男人的問題就是常愛把,做得不夠好,哪裡做得不夠好掛在嘴邊. . .
或發釋
而奴人最怕就是男人發誓,因為會失望...

男人最愛你是什麼時候?
1. 當她剛把到你的時候?
2. 剛結婚的時候?
3. 你懷孕的時候?(愛你還是孩子?)
4. 他老掉牙,追不到其他妞或嫩草的時候,(家裡還有根老草) 哈哈

男人說想你..
真的再想還是剛好想起你?
例如想起你煮的飯
想你在他耳邊念他的日子?
.... 又或許. ... 時你讓他開心的時刻! 哈... opps.. censored.

aniwae.. in short... guys cant leave without a woman around
and woman cant leave without a man for doting them..
give and take lol ..

aniwae 男人一心想挖洞種花,而奴人只想栽培盆栽,絕配!
haha.. tink im turning insane. well come to tink abt it.. its nature, god make us tis way :)

2007-12-13T02:21:00.000-08:00

weary,

drained,

its contracting, sinking..

i trusted
i relied on the assurance
overly dependent

its time to wake up
the independent soul

human spend more than 3/4 of their life on their own
no one can accompani me for life
closest hearts nid to depart

silence is golden
reading that silence is all i need

i nid a shoulder badly
jus 10 mins
... of silence

2007-12-09T03:10:00.000-08:00

................ the week was jus so torturous

work is so horrible

meeting people's expectation

can really make one so unhappy

if u dun meet the mark

u will be letting so mani pple down

i seem to have got back to my old self

the one i look down on.

jus hope it wil land on my legs

bt i jus cant

everyone will tell u to fight for urself

so tired

wisdom toothache is so painful..

gonna get it out on thurs i hope its a wise decision bt.. there goes 500 bucks
sigh.

finali i made up for my soul.

a heavy damage shopping!

nv spend so much in a day of my life in 22 yrs!

figure is a secret

those wana shop wif JASMINE pls reconsider haha..

bt is so nice to have her ard.

i love her jus so much!!!

mon onwards wil be a real tough wk.

prepared to get all the @@#$%%^...

oh ya last wk's xmas party was nt too bad though

the highlights?

the puking part and of coz some of the forgotten conversations haha..

met up wif qh n eunice

so mani has happened

old sch daes r over

everyone has changed...

onli one wish, keep ur souls balance tats e way to go far.

contented is happiness

2007-11-25T12:34:00.000-08:00

im enjoying happiness
coz i have attained contentment

Is either i havent been appreciating what i have for the past 22 yrs of life or my life was real shitty

i feel im growing old
at heart
bt for most who sees me on the appearance. (i reli look like im 24/28) ??
thanks to cs.
is either u get more white hairs or u have darker eye circles
and be sure all ur ot pay will go to your eye mask and facial packages.

for most of my peers i guess they haf found their career direction bt for me.. i guess im still at the cross juctions.
Rational or Emotional ?

Sometimes im reli amazed with myself nv tot i can wk till so late everyday perhaps its gd. At least i feel occupied. BUt i love my job! hahahhaa..
my motivation to wk is FRIDAE!!!
Weekends are reserved to spend time with my soul.
bt of coz fortnightly i will expect some damages whenver Jasmine calls haha..

i used to tink happiness is eating mac bkfast with ur love one on sun morning
bt tats nt the case
happiness can be attained with the slightest tings u do without making any special effort.

seems like many of us are tryin to hard to attain happiness which have caused them to overlook so many other ways that it could be attain without much effort

life is so different nw. Perhaps for me it has changed
Remebering the times when we meet up every sat for shoppin chatting and slogging at drive thru/ 24 hrs mac
grumbling abt the tonnes of sch wk and hw annoying is our family

now one is busy flying ard doing events
the other busy finishing her last yr and juggling her wk and r/s at the same time
whereas me.. submerging myself into wk and enjoying my life on wkends.

suddenli i have an urge to say tis hear. " mummy, i really love you"

contented is happiness

2007-11-24T19:59:00.000-08:00

2007-11-08T00:59:00.000-08:00

supposed to meet up for gathering at DEMPSEY on wed
supposed to meet up for wine appreciation wif colleagues
suppose suppose and suppose

bt needed to wk
and all of them had busy schedules
esp those who are going dating
see this is when singles are at disadvantage haha..

bt i was lucky somehow coincidentally all the rest met up except EUNICE.
and i was lucky as i happen to sms jasmine i knew abt it.
and i end up hafing pple to acc me for dinner at 11! hahaa..

so upset.. nv tried mambo nite b4!!!!
slept the whole dae todae..
felt bit sickish lea.

when u wk u realise u r so enegetic can wk 12 hrs
bt when u start to rest for the day
u realise every part of ur body is breakindown hahaa..

overall is a gd deepavali..

a month older again

2007-11-04T05:00:00.000-08:00

last post was more den a month ago...
so it means..
im a month older again, a month shorter to leave tis world too :)

tis one month,
i have left intense
i have left the preparation stage for the big ting in e wking world
now im here at CS temp-ing.
i wont forget my first day when i went back. I lost my soul, my world and my dreams.
it took me sometime to console and move on.

life is nt about wad u wan to do or be, is wad is infront of u at the very moment.

jus like human, the one u meet at the very ideal moment, the second.

still holding on to the inner voice of mine repeating "everything happens for a reason" and for all that know me well, i believe in fate. After so mani yrs, i truly noe how much my little pair of hands can do for me, for many occurrence, i only can sigh helplessly.

life nw is ot-ing everynite.
i have never worked till 11 plus in my life
hope i can gain and have a nice stay at CS.
i pin no hopes to put me to disappointment.
but i tink i met nice pple tis time
i hope im nt wrong tis time again :)
and yea OF coz " I LOVE MY JOB"

had a wonderful day todae.
made a new leo friend ! haaa.. leo again. under a very weird situation but perhaps, fate.

first time goin shopping with Jasmine.
omg! i was been given the title of chairman for the shopping clan.
nw i shall pass on the title to her.
she is soooooooooooooooooooooo.......... AMAZING!
and wad shocks me is.. we are so similar!!!! I wonder how mani similar tings we bought today haa.. and i love the shoe she bought.. so ex.. im saving!!!! i wana get it too.. :( dun ask me out for gd meals guys, i wana save!!!!* determine! heh heh*

taste, thinking same dream as wedding planner and even the same aching spot and we are using the same way to cure it same brand!!!YOKOYOKO !!

spent a big bomb todae bt very shiok indeed!! its even better den One nite stand i hope hahahhahaha...

e onli ting was the pain todae.
so horrible.
thanks to the milo hahahhahahha...
guess he wont see tis.

went drinking yest with the clan. Every single one of us is in the financial sector haa.Again i felt so awful. ITS TIME TO QUIT DRINKING...(sec time saying it hahaha)

ani foreign big bank, u name it,sure bound to hit one of us! haa..tis is a bit exaggerating though.
and the competition is over.
i lost
im the only one still temping while all of them either gt a perm or contract.
seee tis is wad i mean. PAI MIA..

:) somehow my life is planned in a way that i nid to do a slower and harder route den the rest. Be it personal, family life , studies and career.

but im taking it on my stride, im strong!!

maybe i should post some pics huh.. hmmm.. sammi concert!!!!
it was SOOOOOooooooooo Nice !!! it was my virgin experience.haha. Same birth date and yet we are so diff. she is damn pretty la. oh ya one ting e same. We are as emo. wahahhahahah

next coming up, jay chou.
ah leong, everything was jus for u okay.
thats how mani days of my pay. "grumble grumble"
but i guess it will be pretty worth it too.*excited*

talking about that.. i met my zhou jie lun as in my neighbour twice on sundae.. hmm lets see if we have another fate for one tmr :P haa.. my first fren in tis block after staying here for 22 yrs. sometimes fate can reli make life interesting.

recommendation of the day
.
..
...
....
Olivia Ong.
listen to Olivia's "sometimes when we touch" her voice is jus so crystal clear.
it heals my soul.

.... till i blog again c")

2007-10-04T11:41:00.000-07:00

time is slipping real fast everyday..

the onli way to say hi to those out there is thru BLOG i guess

hope life is beautiful for those whom i care for.

as for me.

i believe it will turn out just fine..

went polyclinic todae gosh! i actuali went to all rooms to hunt for my handsome ang mo doctor. Dr Mark Forest!!! he cured my throat infection. i shld haf went to him for my foot!!

k nxt time .. for those who stays amk n visits amk clinic, request for him! :P or better nt if nt he wil haf no time for me.

is a mood for some tots todae

now i realise something i really love my home

and i truly love myself

coz i noe no one would love me more den i do.

mood of the day ....

save the last dance for me baby! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY60CkP1qAc
go have a feel of wanting to hit the dance floor with some fun frens or ur beloved .. ur darling.

Cheers people ~~

my sky is greying.. who can stop that for me ?

2007-09-24T22:45:00.000-07:00

the sky is greying up..
sunshine seems to be still available
only through the little pockets of the "couple clouds"

sometimes i jus get tired facing masky people
or i shld i say i dun even noe who they are
one thing JL say was right, if we always meet up with bad people,fake people
den where are all the good man ?

are humans to be blame, or the society has tuned us to behave like that.
If no one wants to get bullied and start arming themself behind thick walls that cant penetrate, den where will love & communication gonna pull people together?

wking society works the same way. If every boss wana hire people who r good n experienced

whos gonna create a chance for the newbies to turn into experienced ones ?

more humans are reli getting more n more unappreciative
tis really make my heart chills
who many people nowadays, use your "heart" to communicate or to work for ur boss?
everyone is jus treading water(surface swimmer)

the society is getting so cruel
news reported a malaysian used an apple to sex abuse a little girl ?
what the hell!!
does man has nothing better to do ?
y isit always man doing physical harm to the ladies?
many men would say "yes, ladies are usually being associated to sex appeal"
so what if it is so ?
it doesnt mean we have to obey or serve guys.
thats our asset! not a tool!

guys are just lucky their asset is indoor and we can hardly see the size of it.
Plain lucky!
so you never noe how a woman is feeling
dont think you know coz u will never know!

well maybe some good man around which i doubt many.
like the quote stats " a man is never married until he understands what his wife is not saying"

its greying..

well maybe i shld look at tings fm another angle.
grey is indeed a nice colour afterall though it suppose to mean emotionless. Loneliness.

2007-09-16T03:55:00.000-07:00

8 dayz..

darling came to my hse to stay over again. Cant imagine my life without her. Super lonely. qh left.. she's leaving on fri for bintan oso. Nxt wkend hw m i gonna pull thru without her.
sobs..

glad im gg for concert on sundae.

i nid to plan somethin for sat..

went for bbq at colleague's plc. All animators onli 3 r not.
bt definitely all are males! guess my compani is turning into a male wking environment haha.

tink the cold war is gOnna worsen.
jus dun understand wad he wans
dun wan me to hang out late
dun wan me to stay over at girl fren's plc, even if pple wan to teach me maths
nt happy when i bring frens hm , aim is to let him c who m i hanging out with
what he wants man
im tired.
sometimes communicating wif him reli chills my heart
or maybe i dun even wana try animore.

gonna hunt for a job real fast.
hope can get one before oct
gonna earn money to gif my kins
n to buy a hse n shift out!!!!

arh.. indigestion! i shld eat the appropriate amount :(

2007-09-11T00:21:00.000-07:00

sometimes when i come home i jus wan a room of my own... a space for me to dream n do all i want.

i need a massage my shoulders r aching badly

4 days had passed..

going strong

n all i did is eat eat eat haha!

i cant imagine i ate yoshinoya set followed by 2 bowls of dessert one mango wif sago n zi ma hu! n i still wanted chicken wings n fishball !!

im craving for them after my dinner, grapes n donuts!!!

im pregnant ?

or m i insane..

maybe u dUnno eating helps to ease ur heart n oso provide sense of security. Now u know :)

chewy Junior donuts r damn nice!!!

im gOnna get it for my beloved 5 tis thurs for our gathering b4 qh fly away!

choc madness, blueberry angel , choc oreo crunch choose one!
hmmm tis r e selected ones i tot it wld be nicer they haf cheese , museli, strawberry , pandan ,apple n peanut butter!

its super long q n expensive ok?

BUT!!!! im still gettin it for u guys. Im quein up for it during my lunch break i deserve a kiss!!!

had been reading tis daz..

some that lingers on my mind :

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then u mus forget the rules and play from your heart.

Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbows.

How do you know your love is gone?
If you said that you would be there at seven and u get there by nine, and he or she has not called the police- its gone...

planning the next move

2007-09-09T01:49:00.000-07:00

sweetie month of august is over, time to wake up from the dream.

its crystal clear

had been a long time since i had such a wonderful saturday

cant rem when was e last

thanks to e interview i woke up at 730 on a saturday morning!!

im bad i made all else woke up wif me haha..however the e onli victimed was Ben the rest managed to withstand the bombings on e fone haha..

bt again earli wake up birds gt worm to eat! haha..

ate hotcake breakfast.. cant rem when was e last time i went out for breakfast

ate donut factory

ate thai express

ate tiramisu by the beautiful bay

most imptly i had the right pple by me at the right time.. gd frens r reli hard to come by im glad tat i found the gems.

Damien smsed me a phrase " JOanna, love is all around"

n i really felt wad e message meant

todae i reli felt it fm the bottom of my heart, IM SO LOVED!

im so weary n tired ..haben rested for the entire wk! wk was jus taking a toll on me!

tis veri moment , im still feeling the warmth i received today,burning in my heart.

my finding of the day is smelling different air freshners can make u reli high? if u wana get drugs, get tis! cheap n good.

its a crazy day at the mart hope i wont see my face published on papers tmr haha..

my day was jus so complete. thank you so much guys.

now i take a deep breath and a step back, now i see the rainbow.

its a begining of a new chapter

im feeling wads life..

2007-09-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

qh says its time to update.. i noe coz even my flobber box is gone.. too long liao.

I have left the learning lab nw at a better place. Intense animation studio. Nice pple there, learnt lots of things.. glad tt i finali found a worthy job n nice pple do exist! when u wont mind the ot n wld stay n wk for them u Noe, u haf found a worthy place. Aniwae, hotels had nt gave me good news perhaps also i haben been sending activeli. onli on weekends. Dear, lets rem to meet up on every sun for our coffee n we wld use lappie together haha..

sometimes its reli lonely to walk down the road alone.

when pple leaving under the same roof jus cant stop picking on u

when u ran out of patience u jus start to talk facts, nw u r rude

they askin u to come back at 12 since sec sch is ok, jc ok, uni stil ok nw 22 yrs old ... den hw long will tis be till 27? or even aft marriage they wld call up ?

i will haf times of set moments, get ditched , cheated, emo moments.. or i may jus wana enjoy some happy moments aft wk, or with frens ..bt everytime i jus cant enjoy to the max. life is jus so tiring. i jus cant haf that little freedom n space. How earli can i be when i wk till 7 or even later ?

met up wif insincere n mystery pple in the past couple of wks.

human minds r jus so difficult to be read

was down wif a serious throatichitis infection.

was so awful n miserable

gums swollen, tongue swell, even brushing the teeth n talkin hurts.

dun even nid to ask abt swalloing saliva n eating porridge.

when i feel so pain in the middle of the nite till i will wake up n sit

nite seems so long n dry

waiting .... bt i dunNo wad m i waiting for.

yesterdae was the release of the results, i did veri well.. nearli teared

i guess it was the best gift goddness n Dolly has made up for me for the torturous period of time earlier on. I truly appreciate n thankful for it.. This results had been e best i guess of all my academic yr n fair enough ended my academic chapter of my life on a high note.

its irritating when pple start calling n askin abt the results i noe they r concern bt sumtimes.. u will feel the tone is driving at some other angles. especially those who din bother abt u n suddenli call or sms. Humans r reli ugly bt i guess tats e fact coz im ugly too.

5-8 sept will be running bizzare at NUS for my compani. Those who have time pls come lt27 help me do survey or ur fren here will die of heat, boreness n pride.. coz nid to go round begging for surveys done.

work work work... tts for nw i guess hope hotels will call me up!

m i too greedy to ask god for a next gift ?

i guess so ..

workie workie..

2007-08-02T09:05:00.001-07:00

hey i miss some frens...

hmm everione is wking n i wonder hw is wei jie... n e long time no sound ben!!

See i was rite.. e chalet reli was e so call last outing lucky we made effort to organise numerous gatherin after e HK trip ha..

hey tis sundae we go climb mac ritchie n i noe there is a path to bukit timah !!!
lets hike man!!
we very "up" haa.. tats a new word i learn fm kang guan haa..

nw taking up a part time at the leaxning lxb..( to be confidential ) haa.. well is e best enrichment centre so to say the environment fm all tat i haf worked for or seen in e current mkt. Its freakin zen n high class... haf a pretti mini library filled wif harry potter! qh wld love it i noe :P

had been wkin as "ahsum" cum security these days haa.. bt time flies.. next wk tryin sumthin diff.. hope eveythin wld go smoothli.b4 i consider for the full time.

cant talk too much abt dem in case their competitors gt info haha..

bt i took a pic of their super cool paris class rooms.. is jus like a lab that inventing some special medicine or cloning.. super cool trust me!! tvs outside the sliding doors!

heres a pic of the innest class of Paris classroom.. eh..classrooms r behind e mirrors!

.... meanwhile i will keep sendin resumes.. hotels banks!!!! take me will u !
or events compani.. mindef oso haa.. so long as pay is good i consider :)

celebrated skg bdae! @ ichiban sushi. My first time there at hub hub(amk hub) its nice bt is freakin cold! n i mean reli freaking cold!!! even guys share jackets haha..

kang guan n his strawberry sweetheart

its a guy affair.. *wee wee~*

lookin fwd to ndp preview n sundae hike!!!!

2007-07-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

all part time has ended, so are all e gatherings leaving the last one on mondae..

tis chapter of youth is gonna haf a beautiful fullstop on e life on my diary.

Fought wif dad about some work issues. Unfilial u may say, bt i wonder hw to carry on communicating without provoking one another & upseting each other.

I have a home den seem to provide me with e best bt i stil dun feel much of the warmth, m i nt being contented? i guess so

lucas went kenya wif his church. Lookin at e pic, i feel that there r much tings out there for us to do. The helping hand in me seem to haf been activated once again. haa.. miss some children society kids too. when wk starts guess it wld be too late. I wana kenya or thai tts my wish bt i guess im too materialistic in a way n like my mum say too pampered i wonder i cld ever make it.

hope he wont mind i upload tis pic.Jus for sharing.

Hope he is able to reach out for the needys wif me in e upcoming yrs of our life together.

the hk clique flame seems to haf died off. Expected bt still disappointed though.
the chalet..

my favourite!!!!

the unexpected double date!

the legenary human teapot

last sign of youth

rivervalley camp that i ran. First n probably the last.

nice pple n innocent kids.

thanks to Jy burnt bbq food.. below are the casualties, ben ben, jo jo, qiu qiu n jY himself haha..

down with cold n sore throat pls dun lose voice if nt there goes all my interviews..
interview wif espn was a major setback.

but im on my feet again!all ready to meet bigger setbacks!

its sundae.. 抱抱..

2007-07-12T16:18:00.000-07:00

我以為 ....

heart frozen for a couple of mins..
sigh..

2007-07-08T01:48:00.000-07:00

i Love Hong kong!!!! i love cantonese n i love my 5 frens who walked me down the last few metres of my journey in uni.

I declared tt my journey of education has ended with a high & beautiful note.

I haf never expected the trip to turn up so enjoyable. Least expected haa. Thanks to kz for his stopover too. Though u did make me piss off alittle haha. but ur presence was greatly appreciated.

summarize.. FUN fUN "hen hao wan".. suddenli i felt tt i haf 5 new kins. Im e youngest of course.. e rest are oldsters haha..

our day @hk started wif probs wif rm allocation wif SHAMROCK as the agent over there bOoked twin rooms instead of triple n later we den realised their tripe = adding another bed in a twin room!!! which means may need to climb over one another to acess to the toilet!!

i wonder where my courage came fm.. me n yan were like po fu!! haha.. we stood for our rights. Daniel a counter staff in e end gave us a deluxe rm n a triple rm takin it as a compensation. Aft since tt day he is fearful of us.. Haa.. he will choose nt to serve us when he see my face.. or rather our faces haha.. BUT he is nice!!! the other counter staffs were oso v helpful n nice.

we spend our day wif walkin takin pics, every min haha.. n eating

at nite we spend our time doin beauty care(lotion,mask,blowing hair etc..), showering, gossiping, counting money n drinking..!! e guys did tt more..

i spend my average 3 hrs of my slpin time squeezing yan out of the bed haha.. ( as claimed by her) yan u r lucky dat i dint kick u down e bed haha..

i haf nice room mates.. i love dem!!!

in e morning we r most fearful of QIUHUI !! haha

coz she is e earliest slper n we r e late ones haa. She always wakes me bt i onli heard her once haha.. so we try to wake up earli to be fair to her in a sense. yeAH i tried!!!

without her our trip cld haf gone haywire.

e most memorable nite was.... ben hung a hanger behind the door latch, when e door was closed the latch auto swing n somehow or rather gt stuck!! e door cldnt be open!! end up we went down to the counter glad tt daniel wasnt there, their asked an engineer up. After seeing the situation he shook his head n took up a big saw n started sawing the latch!!! it was alrady 2am++ ! so high !! haha

nxt interesting ting was e 7-11 boi! we wanted to ask him abt the big race for the horse racing n end up me e onli one Knows cantonese try to convey our qn over n he tryin to understand my broken cantonese n our chinese finali we realise.. he cld speak damn good english.. embarrassed** n tts how we made our first HK fren haha..

i love cantonese, im addicted. I tried to speak wad i learnt fm HK drama being an addictor to it haha. is so cool! suddenli i find myself useful again haha.. hw nice if cantonese is our sec language.

i put on 1.5 kg pple!!! hurray!!! n im tanned again due to the 4 hrs of sun tanning at the horse racing event. My horse 6 came in first!! haa won a few bucks!

im so lazy to type further coz so much to write shall jus post some nice pics..

end of Joanna's swim life..

2007-06-23T01:54:00.000-07:00

today is my ... 6th day working as lifeguard !!

but i kind of tender a verbal resignation todae.

after so much struggle , i still did it!

I love tis job actuali..

recalling back,

i haf been swimming for my childhood n youth days..

i guess i started swimming when i was in pri2 or 3 cant rem..

i still rem i went for a useless MOE bronze, silver, gold award

followed by survival bronze, silver, gold award but not e gold star one haha..

den later went on the get life saving 1,2,3

lastly my Bronze medallion. e cert tt brought me to my dream job which is also e award dat ties down e end of my swimming journey.

actuali it was one day when i asked myself wad i liked abt swim when i reached a point tt i hated swim.

Den i realise i can be a lifeguard, i watched mani shows n realise all hunks are lifeguard haha..

like 715 in one of the drama. Den being life guard was my dream n goal i worked towards in my swim life.

i was reli good in my teens bt i reached e low peak during my JC swim.

I realised im reli lousy when i meet much better swimmers in e team.

I cldnt make it to participate in the swim meet.

Tats my greatest regret in my swim life.

I reli wish to haf audience watchin me swim, the satisfaction of hitting the wall wif my head at the finishing point haha..

People applausing for u !

cheering u on!

Wad to do , im tt lousy.. i was dejected n wanted to gif up swim.

aft tt i went on to uni.

Lifesaving caught my attention n blur blur made frens wif shi jia n siew lian.
Nt pro swimmers.. end up in e club..
encouraging one another each lesson.
Even in busy months of exams, we encourage one another to turn up for trainings despite the far journey fm clementi back to amk which take an hour or so ..
n days when our big aunt visit.
We dread to go for training.
And one thing thru out the yrs, i resisted on using tampons!!
wad e hell.. so scary.

I rem shi jia once showed me on tat was like 3/4 length of e bubble tea straw n its diameter is e same as the bubble tea one! wth !!! i nearli fainted.
I cant imagine the amt of pain!! poor girls.
So even how swim teacher in charge in jc forced,
i refuse to use it!!!

den when i reached e stage of BM .
my health suddenli deteriorated.
doc say i cant do vigorous excercise like timed swimming as we nid to hit target.
N pulling someone for 50m wif clothings on within 3.15 mins inclusive of a 50 m swim.
n pull e damn person upshore to do cpr can jus take my life away haa.

i rem jus few wks b4 the BM test date,
i was feelin v unwell. Im was also in e midst of exams.
was so v shag. when i missed the timming by few secs, i was devastated.
I felt so useless & tired.. My first drop of tears by e pool.
I felt ashamed bt those were tears to my beloved sport, swim!

another set back was e test for sentosa bay watch.
I failed the target of 8 mins.
Run swim run 200m.
Swimming against the current was real tough!!
u realise u arent moving!!! n ur energy r draining tremendously!
Well good thing la, i tink baywatchin there is 10 times r stressful.
u Noe la huh.. sentosa is famous for something.
the most fearful ting of lifeguard is not u dunno hw to save bt is u cant pull one back fm the 鬼門關 !
n where ur guilt will torture u for life.

swim was once my first love.. but now.. no love bt became something i treasure.
Im begining to hate e waters sometime.
Damn troublesome haha hate to bathe in e cold water..
bring so much barang barang n e dirty toilets haha..
when i showered in yck pool when i was young i see lots of shampoo foam dried up at the edge of the drain den i will tink tt how one will feel licking it wif the tongue..!! haha
i wana puke whenever i tink of the scene haha.. im sick!
bt safra is real good la.. clean toilets wif hot water.
It gif me a feeling of 初戀again haha..

i had another nitemare again..
dreamt of someone climb over e edge of the wall n commit suicide infront of my eyes..
N i screamed !!
when i open my eyes i was kind of making those weeping sound... sound so silly haha.
aft since i became lifeguard tis is e 3rd horror death dream.

my colleague told me he saved 6 person in total in his lifeguard life!!!
he is young lol..
im so worried i will meet one..
when im e onli one at the pool. better live e place asap haha..
looking at those notorious kids u will wana die i tell u !!
u tell them dun run,
when they tink they r out of ur sight they continue n they shoot u wif their water guns!
( haa.. cute kids though)

i saw kids taking their tests todae.. so cute..
can u imagine a 0.9 or ard 1m kid wearing their pyjamas in water n keep struggling to swim fwd when the water current n the weight of their pyjamas pulling them back haha..
it reminds me of those earli daz of mine.
Bt i miss the underwater circle thing ,
we nid to swim deep down n go thru it.
Tats v fun!!

oh ya,
tat day i said i wana marry a police rite?
todae i changed i wana marry a swim coach aft i saw Billy.
A coach of safra.
he is v well tanned i feel. haf e "seh" of a coach. veri man when he coaches haha
i overheard fm a kid who passed her test tt he is treatin her for a BK n Mac meal .. so sweet rite, y my coaches nv does tt ah?!!

come to tink of it,
our family haf swim genes la.
I started swimming wif dolly.
I rem i was in tis red ballet dress swim suit.
wIf e flares of e skirt haa.. i miss those daz ..
esp when the coach points n u n ask u swim to him den he will carry u sweet talk wif u n throw u back to the wall haha..
actuali i haf the thought of being a coach haa..
nurture our nxt generation ma..
bt my free style reli sucks!

last bt nt least, me in life guard uniform. I took tis when no one was ard me! heh heh!! mus take b4 i return the shirt to them. bt one thing i hate!!! its OVERSIZED!!! i hate oversize shirts since young bt i always get it!! their XS is like so big lol!!!!argh!!!

heh heh.. got e seh boh? haa.. dream come true!

e best part is when guys or ah pek walk past n get shock to see a female sitting on the lifeguard chair haha.. who says girls cant be as competent as guys? thumbs up for female lifeguards!!!

so sad mus take myself.. too paiseh to ask pple take for me. They wld tink im mad jus a shirt but i wk v hard for it okay!! guess in my life of all that the things mummy put me to learn tis is e only one i have achieved at least Something haha.. bt i still thank mummy letting me expose to so much. like chinese dance, mini tennis, piano, chinese caligraphy,abacus !

i will miss e beautiful pool...

e best plc n job u can ever get is being a lifeguard! bt nt e onli lifeguard of e pool.. it can get real bored staring.. haaa..

i learnt alot! im thankful to get tis experience..

who say female lifeguard will get picked up by guys! dun haf lol maybe i too ugly haha..

aniwae theres this guy who asked me to correct his swim.. he darn funni la.. e rest of the guys jus thanked me n majority talked to me to complain n feedback! nothing good haha..

i never knew lifeguards haf to take pool PH n CL readings! cool! rite

den we add chlorine like those washing powder into the pool.

haf u ever wonder how the pool is washed?

wld u tink that they will drain out all the water in the pool ?? haha.. dun tell u !! wana Noe ? go be a lifeguard! it took me yrs to finali Noe it.

goin msia pray tmr.. i will be bored to death hafin no one to tok to again!!

... good day!

2007-06-21T01:42:00.000-07:00

i dunno wad happened to the previous skin.. jus went hae wire.. cant save it.. Tis new skin is beri nice too.

life has got better.. bt i still feel v tired.. i wana rest!!! im so sian to wk..

todae finali went for our hk trip nxt thurs planning..

thousand of plcs to go ... 7 dayz dun seem to be enough..

bye disney.. though we wana go bt guess we jus gonna be realistic its gonna be v expensive n Q veri long for every station..

so broke !by the time i m back fm hk is gonna be tough.. hope money will jus fall into my hands during our macau casino visit or the dog race.. haa.. im excited to see dog race so cool!!

went OG to get inner beauty( no one served me!!)

y are all bras so ex ah ? can someone tell me.. is jus two cushion rite? sOme with more padding only ma ..

it took me v long to find a comfortable one
aunty say no size!! ask me go for a size bigger or B cup.. i refuse la.. den she commented "orh maybe tis design nv come in small sizes" -- sian..
she recommended other brand i refuse niceli den she suddenli added , " orh u wan , padding one huh? "
me shyly " ya.. :P" haha.. bt i dare to admit lea. bleah!
so unfair y guys penis small wont get criticised, girls bust small, mus readily accept teasing..! (big or small doesntmatter, wad matter is e confident haha)

went to police station for my lost of BM report.. den onli i realise police v busy nt as nua as we tot. Waited an hr for my turn to report. An ah pek came to report sayin tat he wan police to cut his lock for him as he forgot to bring his keys.

tis chinese police refuse, said unless its emergency cases

ah pek" urgent! i nid to slp ma"
police" uncle u wana slp, nt urgent lea. U shld get locksmith"
ah pek " no money how ? no frens, no family no nothing, u tell me how la ?" (loud)
police" unlce, i understand bt i reli cant do anithin abt it, try to negotiate or borrow first ? "
ah pek"so now u wana me go rob bank, n borrow ah long la ? " (louder)
police " uncle, make tis clear hor, i nv ask u go borrow ah long n rob bank hor!! " (even louder)
n tis when louder n louder on n on..it was such a fierce quarrell tat i dint wana look over bt glued my eyes to the tv.. i scared e ah pek turnover n scold me..

e interesting part is the police is actualli polite n soft .. suddenli he so MAN!! @ e moment, i wana marry a policeman.. (crazy)which guys ard me sumtimes can be so timid n soft.. even we girls r fiercer n more daring. disappointment!

den e police dint wana continue e argue as there were mani cases b4 e ah pek ones to handle, like mine.

so he told him to take a seat first.
he sat beside me.. my body bend towards e other side.. 2 reasons, one he has a smell.. like hasnt bathe for dazz.. tats ok la.. another is he is like v fierce la.. im worried he may go mad n grab me wif a pen knife as hostage or somethin.. haha.. ( scenes of me struggling n crying helplessly for help flashed acrross my brain haa)Thruout e entire period i onli "miao " him.. n i admit my heart was beating real fast.he looks unstable man..

bt actuali quite poor thing tt ah pek bt who noes if he is lying.. hw can he stay alone n has a flat when he is nt workin no family n frens.. puzzled..

sigh.. know y u feel singaporeans r uncompassionate ? coz there r jus too mani liars ard!

leong leaving for taiwan tmr, hope she has a romantic trip haa..
me goin msia pray over e weekend, leaving hua alone .. heh heh hope she will realise tt she wld be lonely without us ard :P haha..

nice song!

2007-06-13T02:18:00.000-07:00

i jus love tis song..

heres e lyrics ..

If I were blue,
would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's okay,
Would you stand by me,
let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I feel good,
would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender love and careWould you die for me,
would you run with me,
And never look back..
Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,to take my breath away?
Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,to take my breath away?

Would you be there

If I were grey, would you still think of me?
And wish that you could hold me now,
Would you die for me?

Would you run with me?All away…
Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you’ll always be the one,to take my breath away?
Would you be there to save my soul tonight,
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you’ll always be there,
to kiss my pain away?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you’ll always be the one,
to take my breath away?
Would you be there to save my soul tonight,
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you’ll always be there,
to kiss my pain away?
Would you be there…for me…

2007-06-13T02:04:00.000-07:00

everything has ended.. e past few months had been crucial period of my life.. I aged & grew up like 10 yrs over the period. E audit paper brought us together, i cherish the days or perhaps jus e 24 hrs. He is gone for 4 daz n still counting..

I gt my dream come true, a job of a lifeguard at mountfaber safra as a part time. my exams are over, my study life is over, love is over.. all i wanted i haf them all.. Im contented & reli im. But my heart is sinking inch deeper with every word im typing right now.

Lost maybe.. i dUnno y

Lost 4kg over e past 1 month. Cried buckets too. Every day i talk to buddha.. i talk to god.. asking them to pull me through. Night mares over n over everynite... Urge to puke every mouth of food tat was suppose to heal my empty stomach. At that time , i really wana jus slp n die. Not havin him ard me for the past few months had been tough n real tough. Exams were extra burden. Im sure it applies to him. Im sorry dear, i made u go through so much pain.. sure u suffered more den me. Well hope everything goess well for u in thai, norther thai n laos.. enjoy ur one month! see u in no time..

mani think life guard sounds cool huh.. bt nw i noe it is so stressful n sian! When i stare at e pool for 6.5 hrs a day i start to dream.. when i dream im worried tt somethin might happen.. N frankly i cant rem my cpr for children n infants.. or i shld say i guess i cant rem if anithin were to happen. pls dun.. Im gonna pray b4 i leave for wk everyday. Every morning on train i wld read my life saving manual. On my first day of wk, i was so engross tt i missed my station n bus stop..!

i lose my bm cert.. i cant rem where isit.. i reli had a bird brain lea.. cant stand myself! i nid to make a police report n redo one which cost 50 !! so ex!! maybe i shld quit e job.. den can save 50! heh heh!..

guess im gett in more isolated these dayz. Im nt interested to nOe my new colleagues im nt interested in shopping with others.. i shop alone n talk to myself.. n i get more n more depress as i shop, i wonder y?

m i goin mad??

n y out of a sudden i see so mani loveli couples infront of me ? sitting on one another's lap on train. hugging each other in pool ? .. dad bringing their kids to swim aft wk ? my dad nv did tt in my life!!! ..
sometime i feel my life so incomplete.. no childhood,no exciting night life, (a cinderella tat rushes every nite n lies so often wif guilt) n may nt be able to haf babies nxt time.. wonder will i marry haa.. im too picky n lousy huh..

mood for todae : im drunk! (emotionally)

i wana meet so so so mani pple bt they arent free or bother to meet me i guess.. so wad r frens for ? aniwae.. will be workin at safra on tues n fri 3-9.30.. pple hu care can pop by..

nites out..

still alive

2007-04-25T05:53:00.000-07:00

im still alive dun worry..

Had been v busy these dazz..
busy wif wad ?
"shrungs"
Im now currently an "L" plate mugger
& i Noe im digging my own grave
i suddenli miss gim mo..
his favourite phrase "chui ^3"

my horoscope says tis wk its a slack week
n i wld be veri lethargic to complete wad im supposed to do
even if i haf e ability to do so.

---
Nod nodz!!

Leng say i nid to wash my hair everynite bt i reach hm almost 12 every nite v soon like wad he say he is gonna bring "yao jiu" to me n apply for me when im old haha.. true enough im feeline pain on my feet..

my heart, my soul, my organs n my body r getting old..
to get myself motivated im gonna put DOLLY's pic in front of me to study haha..
she wld stare at me haha..

im so bad i forgot it was sayseng's bdae.. hai.. Happy belated dude.. i mus rem in e upcoming yrs .. for all my frens bdae.. im incorrigible!

oh ya amk drive thru mac e new one is my often patronize plc. Its reli cold n nice wif greenerys n wind (outdoors) machiam studyin in the nature .. nite studi place, thumbs up!
& u noe somethin i feel so homely there
noe y ?
coz the damn place is full of SIM-ers!!!!
every 1 out of 3 tables are UOL students pple i haf nv seen in mylife bt i recognise them thru their yellow n white examiner report!@ wth.. SIM is like a bird shit on singapore map n so mani pple fm SIM
can u tink how much profit they earn ??? oh im sorry SIM "not" a profit organisation la!!!
bt its heartwarming to see so mani pple mugging together bt im a snail out of the ants!!
poor pple who wana dine in no seats.. --- Im guilty :P

2007-04-17T06:43:00.000-07:00

is not a v good day
alone for audit as usual..
late by 30 mins
stomach was in great pain yest while studyin at cc yesterday
accompanied wif nausea n bloated stomach
i tot i was going to faint again
e fear astoguish again
fear tt i will faint in a toilet
without anione noticing
like wad old e old sayin always say, when u r in pain or desperate u will think of pple u reli like
was hoping tt he cld hold me to a doctor
i tot i was independent, i tot..

aniwae pain dint subside even till e morning
bt i knew i did to drag myself to sch
coz no one can help me
no one can lend me notes or whatsoever

was tryin to sell an ibm book to a guy which i tot he wld be appreciative at least
as bookshop is currently out of stock n haf no idea when stock wld be available
bt somehow i felt him v unsincere
& im definitely v upset
I ask if 38 was all rite
he tried to ask for a price of 18,as he claimed s.lounge someone was selling at the price
i went there to see i dint see ani 18, or maybe it was removed(maybe)
bt i feel it is definitely not gonna be a clean book
although my edition is one edition of diff
n is kind of v new wif cover.. i tot it wld be unfair to sell at the price
i feel tt he is pressing my price
i wonder if i was sensitive ( i tink so)
25 bucks quoted by him dint manage to clinch the deal
... i admit i was pissed although i nOe i shldnt be so petty coz afterall who wont bargain rite? bt a guy? ( im surprised!)
aniwae as a fellow student, i still hope he will do well in his exams.. (disappointed)

Dropped my SK diamond necklace.. damn!
though it was small diamonds bt its my 21st prezzie tt worth so much too me.
Im willing to lose my hp in exchange .
I seldom wear it bt tt day i jus had an urge though i was late.
Took the necklace onto bus to untangle. finally solved the entanglement.
As my nails were too long, i cant put it on decided to keep it safe in pocket first.
Hope he can help me put on during class.
Guess wad.. he dint come n e necklace is now lost!
its not so much abt the price bt guess is the most valuable tangible asset tt i can keep for memory sake.
Its gone. god u r so cruel.
U knew how mani OT hours was done just to buy that..
its the Best gift i ever had..
reported to SBS it was not found. I got a gut feelin i dropped it in the toilet.
Who ever who picked it up i hope u wld report it, pls do onto others what u hope others were to do unto u..
I believe in retribution.

queued for lotus soup for lunch. Aunty prepared my food in a tray bt instead on the ledge of the counter it was in the counter..
It was far for me to lift it up esp its 2 soup n 2 bowl of rice.
I did it slowli moreover it was v squeezy n jeff was sayin hi to me.
I dint reli stopped n chit chat bt aunty said "talk later, faster bring the tray out dun waste time hurry hurry!!" -- DUMBFOUNDED! i showed difficulty leaving it up she finali snatched my wallet n put it on the tray n lift it up for me..
askin me to start moving..
n next, the tray hit the soyasauce nxt moment i saw my jeans n my white school shoe tt i drew myself is pratially black!
suddenli i felt a gush of fire rose up to my chest!
I stoned there waitin for someone to pick tt up fm my shoe before i cld ever start moving again. But it wasnt Jeff was another girl. Thanks for lending a helping hand, god will bless u
best thing i went to toilet to try washing it off while washing i drop one of the sequence tat was on my shoe
jus b4 i cld pick it up, it stuck onto someone shoe n its gone!!
wad a luck huh!!!!!

its reli v frustrating these dayz maybe is bcoz i cooped myself in cc study for days i feel so dehumanized n i feel pple veri evil.. its so tiring sometimes to face others. Im losing hope bit by bit everyday for my papers. God pls support me.. coz i noe no one else can help me.
lastly another person who made my day is a one of the 3 guys who sat behind me for audit class for the past two lects. Its so coincidental. N maybe i look pathetic to him always alone, late n nv ask for help when i needed. On his way down to collect notes, he collected a copy for him. N noe wad i love him! coz i feel tt he is real human! wif a heart.. tts wad i tink our society shld be isnt it ?

coming from diff family, race we cld still love n care n help one another!!
thats wad the world shld be isn't it ? Singapore? haha.. forget it!!

GET HIGH!

2007-04-08T23:55:00.000-07:00

Lucas!! who say u haf never seen me happy ? today im happy muahahha!!!

went nokia to ask for fone repair bt as my warranty has ended, i nid to pay 100+ to get it done, so.. i wld get a new fone instead..

went cut hair at LE salon again. leng cut my hair again.. he's wif a new funky set of grey ash hair.. sibeh hip! its nice to chat wif him, no matter how foul mood he is in, he will still joke ard wif u . Yup its gonna be my permanent regular salon! For pple who wans to try sincere salon wif good advice on hair care tips shld seriousli consider. Its at AMK ave 10 near teckghee cc aka ( my second home)

Read e papers, dint noe e girl always in my lecture class her surname oso BOH! Berlinda Boh!! She stays in amk, same age as me too n visits e same mac as me! But she is rated Hotties of amk! ME ? ... unrated.. (haha)

went an hr shop at orchard in search of my bro's girl-fren's bdae present. Not so close de still buy 12.90 worth of earrings haha.. we uni frens sometimes one person onli 5 bucks lol (e older e miser c")

Bought a super hot cum lian tube fm future state

dunno y dun ask me. Sometimes wad u buy links directly wif ur mood. Like wad me n leng tinks.. when u r down or jus kena ditch u wld be impulsive to cut ur hair.. a new look = new start..

My bro bought a little ana sui mirror for me (indirectly for me coz it was supposed to be for her) n e lady gave us a free hair clip.. ORANGE CARROT!!! muhaha.. super ah girl!

attention!! hippest granny in singapore & jb!!!

Rap!!! she is damn good man!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPJvIBmlWFg

DIY nails which brought about compliments fm leng as "fm far it looks damn nice"haa.. ( bt gonna bid them goodbye tonite)

last bt not least.. song that expresses my mood of the day == sexy back!!

2007-04-06T02:50:00.000-07:00

we chatted on msn,

To me, my god is
" this "invisible friend" to talk to when u're down"
Whenever i feel v low n empty i wld go to temple alone n pray. Even if u wan me to sit there for half hour i wld. I feel so much beta aft saying my prayers n worries. Even if i cant get my wish granted. I feel relieved.

It reminds me of when im young, although im nt a catholic, whenever i feel intimidated or im fearful of wad my dad is gonna do to me tt nite, i wld cross my fingers n start praying. Sometimes even standing outside the chapel. This is how vulnerable human beings are.. Often when we tink there r things we cant control or no longer hang in there, we pray, all diff god of diff religion. We still pray. Coz i believe all god does the same mission, that is to inspire n help. For pple who study christianity wld of coz say god does more den tis.

Glad tt he no longer feel empty coz he had found wad he wans in life.

as for me, i tink i still need some time to ponder..

Right now my goal is to find a career that i like & be able to earn as much to support my family (but he see tis as his long term goal bt not ultimate goal, :) ) dear god pls let me Noe wad i wan in life.. Im so envious of people who found their goal in life.

glad tt he wld be back in a month time.. meetin him is gonna be stressful, a kind of stress tt i cant express in words.

today is the 730th day.. n tis is it.

My 2 best pals are facing the lowest pt of their r/s.. heart sinks seeing them drowning themselves.

愛不到要愛的人痛苦, 愛上不該愛的也痛苦,相愛的人同樣痛苦.. 愛一定要經力痛苦才會甜嗎?
愛情,這玩兒,就算了吧
只想要一顆健康,案穩的心.. 健康的生體,來面對將要來令的事物!

加油! 淑慧!

2007-04-02T00:34:00.000-07:00

yest morning was hell of a hell, but i tried to control my mood n i swear i tried real hard.

aft class when zara wif ah leong, guess tis girl got hell lotz of commission tis month..! never seen her spent so much on shopping ever. Zara haf got few nice dresses so we haf decided to buy n share.. i wonder how..

sec sch gathering in e evening.. met up wif pple tt i haf never seen for abt 7 yrs & ate fav fish n co. that was pretty satisfying other den e 2 hour queue n the not so fresh sotongs. If i ever wana eat again i suggest to haf it at the doby branch or amk hub which would soon be available.

i dunno wad the hell my dad did to my camera! it reli boils my blood thank god he is my dad if not, i wonder wad i wld do. When i buy, scold me n say its a waste of money blah blah blah now wana use.. n never handle it wif care!!! its always the case! God how mani yrs of such shld i go thru?

Went k box for an hour at a rate of 23+++ for 2 instead of 4. I guess we were mad i noe. glad they dint chase us out, instead we sang for 2 hour plus, it could be more if it wasnt 3am.. Thank mum for the understanding for gifin me a chance to unwind a little as i hardly cld be a late cinderella. Thank god dad isnt in singapore. if nt yest can never be impossible.

Blur picz!

today, decided to study at cc though leong wasnt joining.

Woke up v late bt guess it was a good slp since then.

Ivan called to say he will bring me sushi for my dinner nOeing i wld study till 930. (such a nice friend) as he cld nt eat due to his surgery of his wisdom tooth. I wana pluck mine too.. but no money + courage.. God bless me, pls dun let them hurt during exam period like last yr.

He knocked the window of the study room when i was in there wif mani others. Jus when i stepped up of the room i met my new love Jovian ! he SMILED at me n open his wide arms hinting me to carry him!!! so sweet boy!! fed him sushi n accompanied ivan n him to get sweets..

Sad to hear tat he stays spend most of his time in childcare as his parents gave birth to him at a young age n got divorced.. its so hurtful for a kid for such a childhood. so pple, tink b4 u act!!

lucky Jovian has his grandma, aunt n ivan who dotes him so much, so i guess he is still a lucky boy afterall. ( see all grandma loves their gandchild more den parents , like me :) )

edited pic of jovian.. bet he wld be a shuai ge jus like rain probably in the near future haha..

he simply loves pple to carry him, love crab meat n his "cai cai" --> refers to seaweed of the sushi haha.. tIS dude has a big appetite. Wld treat bring him out aft my exams!! so i gonna save up now.. tis dude can reli eat alotzz if we dint stop him he wld haf finish the whole box of sushi!

i finali get to feel how is it being a mummy.. is v tiring goin after him n making him happy.. I guess i will never make up to that mark.. :)

Tis was sent by ivan , edited version haha..

(i tink i look ugly lol.. im a queen wif a crown n tie? so m i a guy or a girl ? haha..)

2007-03-30T06:58:00.000-07:00

it was not a very good day for me.

woke up late,
bus broke down,
mind cant stay focus for the day
heart was v heavy
it seem to even outweigh the weight my body could hold

When i was on my way home
不能承受的感動 by sammi :

谁说不能承受生命中的感动
我们拥抱过东京最美丽的梦
你的一只手有多不同
当时我无法形容
放下才明白
爱情有多重
你一路陪着
我每当我也学个够
不够爱我的人再美丽只是个梦

我的一双眼是为什么
想起你总那么红
你能够痛着对我好
难道我能假装不懂

全世界看不起你
难道我就能对不起
你就是爱看你这样子
样子还有什么关系
全世界看不起你
难道我就要骗我自己

爱情不只一场欢喜
以后只是一个回忆
拥抱你我就会舍不得呼吸

谁说不能承受生命中的感动
我们拥抱过东京最美丽的梦
我的一只眼为什么轻轻地想起了你
就变得通红
你能够痛着对我好
难道我能假装不懂
爱情让人不分轻重
不能承受的回亿
就留给东京铁塔保守秘密

instantly stirred up all emotions
within secs ,one which seemed to have conslidated all the pain,emptiness,helplessness & disappointment rolled down the cheek.

unfortunateli i was unable to upload the song
hope some kind souls cld upload it soon.

went to purchase white shoe
a granny served me
Although it was self service
as i dint bear to let her bend down to get the size for me
her smile & her advise on the shoe size
was more than enough for me to offer a service charge even if there were to be one
Is somethin i tink all salesgirl in singapore shld learn
coz u never realise ur unfriendly n stuck up bloody face jus "boils" a customer when they ask for trying or return to u ur pdt as it doesnt fit.
wads the use of studying so much when the fuc**** society is so illmannered & Impolite?
if u cant even be courteous & respect others even those who cant afford ur pdt, noe matter how brainy or how well u fare for ur degree , let me tell u its NOTHING!!!

Happen to pass by a grandpa replying to his grandson who was trying to let his grandpa buy his idea abt somethin. Grandpa caught me listening to them, he smiled to me.. His smile taught me something, Life can be so simple. Although he hasnt study much like e granny they both lead life well, happy taking care of their small shop / grandson. They haf so much attitude in them in life then all those who studys so much..

went for rev classes, it struck my mind, how mani pple in the lecture rm reli noe their stuff? how mani wld Ace the subjs, how would they be doing in their future if they do so.. So being so stupid n forgetful, someone who forgets what she studied the day b4,how far cld i go in future? Wld other despise me, for being not on par wif them? thoughts jus went on & on...

2007-03-28T11:17:00.000-07:00

had a hard time getting to sleep recently. 2 days, 6 hours of slp.. Somehow whenever im on bed i haf thousand & one things to ponder on, always worrying about tmr, regret for not doin enough today. Guess i nid to find a remedy to it asap, v soon my concealer cant conceal the dark eye circles animore.

Time flies, esap uol rev has ended. I will rem e good times we spent together guess wld be e last lesson hafin so mani frens in the same class. Nothing to fret about, coz life is abt creating memories n move on..

the 9pm miracle show is coming to an end, v soon my last source of motivation wld be gone.
Love the plot (esp stories on which miracles do happen) I hope i wld haf one too.

5225 is somethin tt i haf been thinking for the past 2 days. Would u accept someone who is 52 , if he is someone who u really love? (girls) Guys, wld u accept a girl who is 25 , while u r 52? So far the girls i asked rejected the idea of it. As for me i tink i may. I wld be interested to listen to ur views on tis.

the damn throat is coming back again.. (freaking me up!)

Realised I have split personality .. In school i love to socialise but aft sch hours, if i happen to see frens around, sometimes i will pretend not to see.. as i jus wana be alone.. But aft 10 every nite i will tend to feel empty n lonely. But i dun wana superficial frens to entertain me or i shld say i wont want to entertain them..

i wonder why..

oh man , what a post!

2007-03-27T00:12:00.000-07:00

pics of gathering of the long lost 從從邦 @ marche vivo.. our name n legend of us will be entering the next revised edition of the history book..

i foresee tis will be e onli n last gathering in our remaining uni days. Guess most will be uncontactable in the near future. I may be pessimistic bt im quite sure. Unfortunately , i was unable to urge the other 2 of them to turn up. That will be a regret for me..

hmm.. let pics do the talking.. in the post below.. e damn slider thing is driving me crazy... cant put it into tis post!argh!! wasted over an hour.. aniwae.. to see captions ,click on the pics.

Reeve intro me to tis http://laozhabor.blogspot.com
who says blogging is the "IN" thing for youngsters onli...
even wj say she blogs better den me.. i tink so too..

所謂活到老,學到老 , i agree :)

Check out my Slide Show!

2007-03-26T09:29:00.001-07:00

2007-03-25T16:38:00.000-07:00

never fails to touch my heart every time..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk8jy5ygNZM
haf prob putting e video here. sorry peeps.

love tis song, if anione nOes where i can get tis song let me knoe. Thx

2007-03-22T02:45:00.000-07:00

it was suppose to be a good day.. Dreamt of Dolly last nite, she asked abt my preparation for exam, Im so guilty. She is studyin in SMU n she said it was tough.. so happy tt she can continue her uni in heaven. Wonder how does SMU (heaven branch) looks like ? :)

I decided to opt for jc via uni route was actuali i wanted to fulfill her dream on behalf. The path was far too tough tt i tot it was. I sweat, teared, went thru despair n confidence regain stages over n over again till it seem so uncountable to me. But rite now, when i come to think abt it, im glad tt im where im todae. It started off by carrying hopes of hers, den became hopes n desire of my own. Not being able to get into local uni to stay in hostel n enjoy countless hall activities is indeed my regret. Bt i guess Jc pehaps isnt my route aftall. I shld be glad her hopes guided me up till uni, if not i may haf been struggling in the workin society wif a diploma. Although, i dunno how far or how beta wld tis SIM cert of mine bring for me( when i dun even a sec lower rite now) I choose to think tt it shld be better den diploma. Thus, I will strive to clear for a sec lower.

When i lose momentum i will take a look at her to energized myself. Shes an Ace scorer. As her cousin, i hope i will nt be too far fm her standard. If i dun study hope she haunts me at nite.. coz i miss her..

I dreamt of myself seeing the 4d draw results last nite. Since mama was gg down to Q, hee i decided to bet on my dreams. As the no. wasnt clear. I did a ibet. N result is i striked!! winnings: $6 bucks enough to cover cost n maybe can donate away the few bucks.

Its not abt the money bt its e joy n luck when u strike. I hope tis will be the turning point of my luck.

went qing ming todae, grandma haf shifted into a renovated plc in kwang ming shan. Every yr without fail we can nv find her urns.. Its so weird! Few yrs ago it shifted due to renovation we cant find until aft some search n enquiry. Last yr, my aunt kept the blk n # of e urns to herself when she received the letter of notification. Although her r/s wif my dad isnt good, i dun see e nid to hide. Afterall, is jus praying our ancestors isnt it.. *sighs*got a few Dharma Books jus realised there are equalli good compared to the BIbles. I love reading them.

I tot i haf put it down till i see my agitated & nervous reaction when i failed to get my query answered..

exams are drawing nearer when i haf wasted a week. Im oso pretty worried for unexpected things tt may arise within tis crucial period. life is full of endless uncertainty. Thats something even insurance cant insure u of..

Here a part on "dont worry" picked up fm the Dharma bk that i have read :

The secret of happy, successful living is what needs to be done now, and not worry about the past or the future. We cannot reshape the past, nor can we anticipate everything in future. There is but one moment of time over which we have some conscious control and that is the present.

Many people jus worry about the future. They haf to learn to adjust themselves to the circumstances. Whatever castles they may build in the air, whatever dreams they may have they must always remember that they are living in this world of constant friction and change.

"There are no stars which we could trust,
there is no guiding light,
And we know that we must
BE GOOD , BE JUST,BE RIGHT."

Gosh! its a super long post.. Im ending it with somethin interesting..

do i reli look like them ? hmm.. i shall try wif other photos nxt time. Tis foto was like 2 yrs ago :)

ps: pardon me, i dun like to do spell check or check dictionary for words i dunno how to spell coz it breaks my chain of thoughts. So make a guess,if theres a nid for one .. :)

its such a sweet day

2007-03-22T00:12:00.000-07:00

no doubt it was a sweet day. Things were simple, though i was late, jy came to sit beside me, lent me his notes n offer foolscap, so did lynette.

And finali i realise y we nid to study study n study,be educated coz i realise pple who study more, able to handle emotions n anger better.(my assumption) Able to solve conflicts better. Im so proud of those pals of mine. THumbs up!

did hk trip planning.. simple bench, few frens, simple discussion yet happy ..

on my bus trip home, though i was alone.. nv i felt lonely. received unique callers, called gif concern abt how i was doing n i was getting well. Kg smsed fm taiwan to ask wc to take care of me. Silly him, bt i was touched. as for weicai always appear at times im most vulnerable.

Saw a po po climbed up to the upper deck to seek for a seat. I let up my seat even though i stil haf a few stops b4 i were to alight. She smiled to me.. instantly i felt so good..

Simple things, simple smile, simple concern jus made my day. Never i tot simple things can ever bring so much happiness. Maybe simple relationship will bring abt real happiness too.. well, maybe.

2007-03-21T03:23:00.000-07:00

sometimes u nv tot that one person is so influential to u, bt u realise when he/she feels down, happy ur heart jus beats exactly the same

& tats the time u start wondering why..

shoo shoo!!!

2007-03-20T15:48:00.000-07:00

tink my freakin bodi is immunless..

its driving me crazy..

my flu cough n sorethroat hasnt recover now comes swollen eye lids..

the throat its driving me crazee when i slp.. so dry n awful..

i drank 12 cups of water.. still lyk tt lea..

go away u all .. i wana get well! i wana eat my chinese medicine.. haben ate for a wk n my dark eye circles r back!!!
shoo shoo...!!! go away..

mocks are now history!

2007-03-18T01:22:00.000-07:00

screwed up all papers & dint manage to go for the last mock paper of my life. I was wondering e fever was a hindrance or blessing.. blessing coz i haf reason not to mug hard, for a cannot make it paper. ICp seems to need 2 yrs to finish studyin 1 yr syllabus.

time flies.. 3 wks had passed. I wonder how did i manage to do it, but i jus did it.

Body is immunless now, sorethroat,fever,cough &flu, jackpot! oi! y shopping no great effect on me huh? **scratches head

bt i realise im going mad!

i went shopping wearing tube dress that was v loose that safety pins dint work & i actuali liked a dress so i told the girl i will pay and walk off wif it n i did!!! I mus be mad!!

my 戰勵品 of the day:

nice? or im impulsive to buy? argh!!!!!- tell me u love it too !!

v zi lian lea.. i cant stand too!! tats leo i guess..

i Mus move on!!!! 咬緊牙根,用力呼吸!! there are much things ahead awaiting for me.. & as for icp n all the papers, "never say die!!! ai pia zai ae eya (mus pia den will win) haha!!!" thanks qh for the moral booster! love u to bitzzZ!!!

im getting better, better n better!!!!!!!!!

u ever noe how much a hug can do?

2007-03-17T01:57:00.000-07:00

jus came out fm a hot shower!

n mani things zoomed across my mind.

I suddenli wanted to hug someone.. I always see ang mos & some girls in spore often go ard hugging their frens. I always tot they did that, jus for the sake of doing it.

But now i seem to get the entire picture of it. A hug means alot. It is the best tool to make one heart close to another's without anithin obstructing except a layer of clothes n skin. And to let the other noe, they r so impt to u or u reli nid them at the moment. A hug speaks a thousand words.. This moment, i jus wana go round hugging people that i really like.. I love it when the warmth n energy n encouragement passes thru from one to another.

So, dear frens if im upset nxt time, dun bother to console me, let me hug u !!!

fOr pple who cant express ur feelings or wana test if u haf feelings for the other party, maybe hugging may be a good solution to ur prob..

so wad r u waiting for? start hugging ur love ones... :)

2007-03-09T22:21:00.000-08:00

spent my evening spent at ecp yesterdae.. had been quite sometime since i last went. Things that haben seem to change,but things on my side are no longer like before.

love the bedok jetty, love the wind,e sea and of coz e planes.. seeing pple there doing the things they like, leisure fishing. All sadness seemed to have blown off with the gusts of strong wind.

its reli refreshing for pple who feel stressed up or unhappy maybe that place is reli a place to gif urself a break.

nice warm sun!

manage to see e legenary sand castle area that i saw on tv.. love the castle so nice.. too bad la.. our photographer,mr seah took nice pic of me blinking my eyes!!!!

take one!
take two!

my face looks swollen! bt i love e castle!

tis was somethin new tat we saw at ecp.. there were couple of such.

Looks like scorpion isnt it? wanted to walk to the end of it.. but lucky i dint coz went i tried walkin on the other one, i slipped n fell thank god not into the water. Now hafin a sourvenir of black patches on my knee cap. It was so slippery that i tot i stopped myself fm falling, bt i still couldnt escape fm it. It was embarrassing! bt i dint regret trying. If i nv try i never noe so for those who wana be adventurors, tink twice. esp when u dunno how to swim.

was cycling fm end to end of ecp, everywhere was memories. The lighthouse, Jumbo seafood,shelter,jetty,bicycle shop.. sometimes when someone leaves memories are still so fresh. received a call fm him & it seem to haf put me back to deep tots & flow of emotions.. But i was still glad that kang guan spent his day wif me. My dear fren leaving for taiwan for a month, hope by e time he comes back he will see a refreshed joanna! hope the upcoming 1month wld be endurable.

had a super low peak over the past 2 wks thanks to the 2 天使 (joanna & kang guan).

你就是我的天使

保护著我的天使

从此我再没有忧伤

你就是我的天使

给我快乐的天使

甚至我学会了飞翔

飞过人间的无常

才懂爱才是宝藏

不管世界变得怎黱样

只要有你就会是天堂

像孩子依赖著肩膀

像眼泪依赖著脸庞

你就像天使一样

给我依赖给我力量

像诗人依赖著月亮

像海豚依赖海洋

你是天使

你是我最初和最后的天堂

theres so much thanks that i cant simply express in words..

2007-03-06T07:56:00.001-08:00

6th of March a day that i would never forget.. Got the best present over the 2 yrs. Time snailed todae.

my plan at the swing for unwind ,was put off due to the rain.

Sat at e amk track for a long time..

seeing pple pacing up n down there,jogging, running aft e kids. I realised we r often too busy to slow down our pace to really see things n scenary. though they were parents running aft their kids,ah pek running behind his dog,clearing its shit n urine, i knew they were enjoying n happy wif wad they were doin which may simply mean,happiness. Mani of us used yrs n endless effort to seek for happiness nv did we realise, it can be jus so simple, anitime, aniwhere. sitting alone on the drains & realised e chapel opposite looks like a palace.. trees are so green n nice though they were weak they stood strong thru the big wind n rain.

started to haf some thoughts n pen them down..

生活到底因該是快樂或悲哀?

世界千萬人口,有多少使佣有快樂的人生

拿倒底老天爺是如何決定谁的人生是快樂的

或續一切都不過是一個輪盤轉皅了.一個人也許會有十二次來到人間過著命總早已注定的人生,一早已備安排,擺步好了.所以也許我們不需要覺得自己慘或可憐,也不用可憐比我們不幸的人.因為也許今世是他,來世就輪到你或我在同一個位置上.

總覺得下來凡間就以注定是受苦,打從一底達這世界就再第一時間被醫生狠打屁股,發出"啪"的醫聲,因此,我們發出,抗一的哭聲.也因此慘痛的人生也画上了起點.若你覺得人生有的選檡,那很有可能就是不哭.到底這樣會比較好嗎? 或許只有這樣才永遠不知道什麼是心和難過.

對我而言,我們就像天上的佛主,紳仙門眼總的阿哥阿姐門.我們最總的下場,做為導演,監製的他們已早安排好了.或許是用我們上輩子的成績單來分配的吧!

至于我自己的人生,我已走了20 多年了,未來是否會比較好,就要看老天的劇本了.如果我的下半輩子痛苦較多那我希望他不要讓我開心,日子貧貧,或許就沒那麼辛苦了.

那到底我這一生已經是我第幾輩子了? 是第一或是第十二了納?

********************************

i was so near & we dint see,

I hope over e yrs n nv got

when it finally comes,it aches the heart

raining dayz= emotional dayz

2007-03-04T09:53:00.001-08:00

had been raining these days.. some like, some dont.

like it coz they can share an umbrella wif their love ones, strolling under e rain,cuddling together using one's warmth to warm the other.

some dont, coz they dun wana be alone under e big umbrella.

as for me, i dun haf an umbrella..

i wana stand in e rain..

weekend is over, all those who could spend time wif me has to get back to their work. Its another stretch of weekday torture.. hope sparks will strike off wif my books..

had been 4 dayz

2007-02-27T03:09:00.001-08:00

had been four days..

wad haf i done for the past 96 hours?

guess i haf been letting my mind wander.

when will be e day im motivated to be on my feet strong & firm

suddenli i yearn for frens bt not special attention

todae everythin seem so nice, which i haf nv felt for so long..

pple ard me r takin up their pace faster n faster fighting wif the devil Time!

I guess, its jus a matter of time for Devil tIme to destroy me into ashes.

I wana cycle, shout out loud,sing, dance, drink n all else tt is rolling front n back of my mind..

all else except that seems the same but y im still so empty!

2007-02-24T01:00:00.000-08:00

24th of feb, e air seems so different.. everything is so new.. ...
no time to tink,dream coz there are mani things up ahead for awaiting for me.
hope my body will be back on track soon. Teach me how to slp better n eat well..

5more days to first esap mock. Guess gonna screw it up, hope to gain experience thru it..

我一定會很用力的呼吸!!

failed again

2007-02-21T07:09:00.000-08:00

The first heartache, in the yr of pig.. I did all i can, i swear. I swallowed all that i could.. i kept calm.. so much that i dunno who im..

freeze my heart. Pls stop the torturing..

how i wish tis moment i haf someone with me..

I nid to stop the pain, its far too overwhelming..

2007-02-06T01:08:00.000-08:00

pics of my cousin's wedding.. bride n bridegroom at 18!
pretty ma ma of a daughter to be now. I bet u haf nv seen so "in" & pretty young mama to be on e streets.. when i met her for bbq gathering my jaws almost dropped!

like always i had penny of thoughts over e past two wks.. I realised how nice cousins can be, e pillar of support or ones who will make u smile wif e minimal effort over e past 20 yrs, i haf cherished nothing till dat day. Thanks caroline for organising e bbq for e young. Bet e owner of "long chun" hates me n jiesheng coz we paid onli ten bt he ate till a 20cm high of remains of crab shells while i ate at least 2 kg of sotong! no joke!!!

went for first facia.. pretty good though bt guess my eyes cant cure man.. sad! i wana cure it.. e pain elapse again.. guess medication nids to be changed. New hair cut, new look bt i happen to see a past pic, i look so good last yr! i aged terribly over a year! sighz..

comment on my new hair, gimme suggestions haha.. not forgetting to introduce my salon Le Salon. LENG is my hairstylist.. not bad cheap rates facial is in built there too.amk ave 10. do try if u r looking for a reasonable saloon. they r pretty nice chaps!

in e midst of tots..

2007-01-14T02:06:00.000-08:00

thanks to lian*

went to try e below as well.. e results, IS SOooO me ! for pple who always say dunno wad im tinking, it jus speaks it all.

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

heart froze with e weather..

2007-01-12T18:40:00.000-08:00

guess i over estimated myself. Love will make one change, eternal flames if someone were to tell me e same thing now, guess i will be dubious over it. Only serials make those come true.

Its so hard to motivate one, till i felt so tired. Waited for 1.5 hrs at e void deck wif the cold blast wind blowing n heavy downpour was initially manageable. But patience ran out aft 1.5 hrs. Aft being able to contact i realise i had been a fool. Waiting wif hunger n shivering cold.. i will nv forget how cold n shivery i was in e cab todae.

I swear i will nv be tearing n weakling animore.. I noe is the time to stand on my own feet again..

nude-indulgence - established

2007-01-10T16:22:00.000-08:00

Another blog of mine, nude-indulgence.blogspot.com has been established. If possible pls support & recommend..

coz i nid money to buy new yr clothes! haa..

Love e name of e blog n its skin may change it over when e stuffs r sold.

hey is 2007 everyone!

2007-01-05T15:50:00.000-08:00

Hi all im back from my KL trip. At last i got to go after calling it off for 3 times!! first trip out wif frens not skoOl.. great experience..
I jus wana say "Im a big Big girl in a BIG bIG WOrld!!!"

i reli love tis slide thingy it saves me time uploadin picz... i have also wrote some captions for some pics. U may want to click onto e pics to activate e tool n den subsequently u can roll ur mouse onto e pics to view e captions!!!

is 2007 everyone.. 2006 has ended. It had been an okay yr for me& love 2006 coz 6 is my fav # haa.., well hope 2007 would be better for all. i miss some of my frenz.. hope to catch up soon.
Oh ya haf some good news to share.. its kinda embarrasing to say it here sound more like hao lian-ing.. but im quite happy though. My audit open book test essay, has been selected by teacher to be printed out n shared by e class. haha.. so funny.. i tot i was goin to get a darn border line mark..aniwae nothin to be proud of coz some of my frens jus gt a few marks lesser.. Well after since pri n sec sch, my chinese composition was selected for compilation , it had been a long time dat my GReat work is being appreciated haha.. hope tis helps to boost my morale for audit. As its texting! exams are coming.. ! dudes n babes.. start studying!i nid more time n motivation!!!

another thing !i realise when u do good deeds, u do get repaid! few wks ago, i offered sharing sheltering a man from heavy rain, as he was standin beside me at the traffic light, yesterday when i was in a rush & was mummbering to myself if i shld dash across n get drenched, a beautiful n nice lady offered to share her umbrella wif me!there is indeed love on our beautiful earth man. Im begining to lovE E eARth of mine.. ...
thus to all out there esp tis raining season. IF u haf an umbrella n u do haf enough space for sheltering another person, y not reach out to others, they may need the shelter badly. The smile or thank you receive in return jus simply brightens up ur day :)

dreams do reflect one's internal fears

2006-12-13T14:16:00.000-08:00

jus woke up from a long dream.. when all else dint go well for me. I tot sleepin would be a good remedy to cast reality aside. It dint, infact it showed me all my fears came true.. I cant imagine if comes true. Guess my life will be twice as miserable compared to the current.

Now sitting alone is the room typing. Feelin tat lappie is my only fren. Someone who will let me talk to , someone who wouldnt leave me alone for other reasons only during reformatting. The house is big wif so mani pple, bt none i can share.

Im jus like a prisoner waiting to be sentenced. If outcome is bad, I will haf to restart from zero n start afresh which may require great courage. Which always seems so tough. If outcome is good, i may have to keep living in guilt& pain but havin needless the start fm zero.

so which sentence should i pray for?

these daz had been alone most of e time..& thru it i discovered more & more objective in thinking.It was a dull monday. AFter class, went library to choose some books & headed to canteen to packet dinner for one. As i was sitting alone at the atrium, eating dinner wif my earphones on, reading the books i borrowed. I felt so occupied n satisfied wif the feeling. It helps to cast worries aside n allowed me to discover the me tt was burried under tonnes of fear,unease& lonely me.

I felt so warm when i heard one fren of mine who isnt close to be tt i nv tot his one sentence could instantly made all my loneliness & unease instantly vanish. A simple " studying alone? dun study till too late ah?" maybe it was in mandarin so e feelin was more warming. Thanks CASEy. guess u nv tot tt unintention/intention sentence ended my day wif a smile.

Was reading thru the books & saw some quotes that i personally like it very much, which i would like to share.

Happiness is a butterfly which, when pursued,is always beyond our grasp,but which, if u will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ---Nathaniel Hawthorne

If only we'd stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time.
---Edith Wharton

Seems like e aimless me who always pursues my desired happiness, its time to sit down for a rest. Wad about u ?

2006-12-12T15:24:00.000-08:00

one day in 2006 that was so memorable.

time that i wish to hold on forever..

it was e 6th of dec..

ways of eating 3layer kueh..

onli time when i do stupid tingz..

tall~ll kristmas tree..

arrival of 2 santas..

dazzling in the lights of christmas..

how will tis christmas turn out to be ?

cruel december

2006-12-08T05:29:00.000-08:00

Love tis song.. suits my style. Best break off song ever.. if i face that day i wana be wad she sings in her song..
nice vocals. sExxY Babe!

at least she could sing n had pretty curves, wad do i haf?
all i can do is sit & wait for my destiny..feelin so darn useless..

a wk ago, clinic downstairs caught fire. It was a clinic of doctor Wong, which i had visited close to a yr ago.

I remembering clearly that day i was in great abdoman pain. Strengthless limbs, blur vision & giddy due to my menses. Doctor Wong gave me immediate tablet n told me to rest outside till i feel beta n able to walk as the pain was far fm my ability of endurance. As i was resting, this PUB guy told doctor Wong that they nid to off all utilties. Then i was grasping for breath & giddy n clearly i nided the fan & air con. Thus Doctor Wong argued wif the guy tt as my doctor, he put my health at first piroity n reject the cutting off of supplies.

Upon my first visit, i was touched by his passion to help his patients. Heard tt nite of fire was his new born baby's full month. When e fire started his wife n baby was upstairs. Im thankful to god, for saving his family from the disaster. Good deeds do pay off. Many blamed it on the jinx tt baby brought, but i tot otherwise, it can surive thru tis ordeal, seems like e baby is gonna be a lucky, who noes, he's gonna make it big!

DIsappointments & strings of events happened one after another. My heart is weaken day after day. Exhausted.. Sch work, grandma, frenship & r/s arent favourable. I need a breakfree. iM sick of pple wearing "masks". If u arent keen to be true frens,pls leave. I miss the independent me that i was when i enter uni yr 1. LIFE den was jus fantastic.

Even my long planned & awaited KL trip disappoints me.Tis is already the 4th planned trip to KL that fails.I guess when u want to spare a tot for e other, U jus haf to bear the pain. But im sure i cant be that selfish to be insisting. I maybe selling off my 2 tics. Interested parties may tag. I hate money& i hate pple wif high EQ. I hate communicating!! coz it always screws up. Everything revolving around me is money!!! the freakin new camera also nv fails to add to my pain! aimless.. its such a cruel dec to me! I like to be alone but i hate lonely nites, hate the tears tt washes my face at nite, hate e endurance of the "contracting heart", hate it when i cant hold my temper,emotions & patience. GOd help me before i turn into a nasty & irritable person. Cigarettes.. i hate u, i sense ur tempting. Tequila shots, vodka,heneiken!!! my heart & mind healers.

....你的一双手有多普通当时我无法形容,不够爱我的人再美丽只是个梦

in e air of missing..

2006-11-27T21:15:00.000-08:00

happen to screen thru to find e superstar 2 M5&M6s duet. Dint get it instead happen to see milubing performed on stage on PSS audition. when i heard shen bian,emotions stirred!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jD36Nf1ntrE

i wana post tis! So nice,how i wish someone i like proposes to me wif his guitar n singing (like wad Sam did) .. guess im day dreaming.

hope to see their album launched soon in dec.I feel v silly to be mad abt them coz they r of my age n sam is younger.. haha.. bt they r reli talented, tts somethin tt cannot be denied.

Added baby thermis on my frenster todae. Child of Joanna & Ray. Blissed** so young haf friendster acct. u r so well loved, baby thermis :) Tink jie sheng has been v nice to them both. They prove to me "jie di lian" isnt a big deal afterall.

duno y e image canot be displayed.. u gonna click on it to view *sorrY ABT tt*

went bro's Kumon's prize presentation ceremony. He achieved his gold award for english tis yr. Not gonna touch in case it breaks again :( Goong Shi jia was e special guest of the event.

I was darn lucky to be e onli one to take a solo shot wif her!*****luck was shining tt dae. Never been so lucky before..

tis wil be e first family photo.. excluding e one on my bdae!

2006-11-16T00:30:00.000-08:00

Had a look at Operational Hope Foundation www.ohf.org.sg a year had passed. Sad to say i had not accpomplish any of those i hope to accomplish since a yr ago. Still didnt sposor a child nor went over for some hands on experience by experiencing how the cambodia kids live in the orphanage. And also let the materialistic, lazy me reallise who fortunate m i here...

Thus , i call out to all that reads my blog, especially those who are financially well off to lend a helping hand by sponsoring a kid. The kids reli nid sponsors to get a new life n also lessen e burden of their current guardian. If u sponsor them, they will get a pic of u n write to u often n u too can write to them. Come to tink of it, is rather heartwarming, u can actuallly reach out to someone miles away fm u on another part of the globe.Linking hearts across the globe.. how can tis feeling match wif the bags u bought fm GUcci or ur prada sunglasses?

Aniwae, sponsorship is 67USD a month.. For hope foundation. You can choose to sponsor either kids fm Nepal or fm Cambodia. THey haf some children pics posted n u can select the kid u like to sponsor. I saw OukYian.. The moment i saw him, jus had tis closeness feeling. Too bad i cant possible afford. here's about him.

Age: 6 years old
Description: Both his parents passed away in 2000, leaving him in the care of his maternal grandmother. He has got 7 elder siblings, either working as a domestic helper in Phnom Penh or as laborers in other provinces and Thailand. They have not been sending money home for Yian or his grandmother. His grandmother owns a small piece of land for farming; however she is in debt as she had borrowed the money for the construction of their thatched house. Yian was delighted when he heard that we are coming to pick him to live in the orphanage. He quickly put on his best shirt and asked us to take him along. He is cheery and joyful child.

Hope OukYian can find a kind soul to sponsor him soon. Hardly see kids to stay so positive n joyful.. guess he's gonna be a remarkable figure in future.. well tats my instinct.

-----------------------------
Aches are all over my back. Went for my first lesson of Yoga.. teacher was pretty fast.. but guess i jus nid to buck up! nice n relaxing sport. Haben been doin exercise aftersince acheived lifeguard (Bm CERT) .. EXERCISE reli helps to make one fresher!

studied alone in library on mon nite til 9pm. During the few hours there n my bus ride home. Had pretty deep tots & pretty emotional as well. I still remembered during my year one although jus ended a painful realtionship, but i had new bunch of frens who stood by me, goin thru the tough period wif me. One bunch always jio me for town trips right afer skool, the other clique is e one tt most had heart to heart tok. Due to one evil act of mine, caused the clique to dismant. For the past one year, the clique had nv got together. Although it has been over, but no one seems to be e same. I reli regretted at times n i lost my soulmate. THough we r talkin now, dunno who she feels though, but i sincerely hope things may turn out to be like the past. Life is full of regrets, if only i can turn back time..

all thanks to lyn who organised e sakae dinnner that brought everyone together aft one yr plus. jus hope everyone will cast bad memories behind n move on..

Was on my way home on mon nite.. e same bus stop, same sch environment, nothing physical changed but feelins were drastically diff. I felt a sudden lost n loneliness.
People dun seem to be e same , sincerity betwn frens seem to differ as well. I seem to follow tt trend. Why? i dunno .. i tend to ignore pple on purpose n chat lesser in depth. A surface fren, i haf turned into. Someone tt is no longer me..
sigh.. I miss the good old sch daes. I cant bear to live sch so soon. gonna graduate soon, stepping into the cruel working society wif no more naive n innocent frens by me. Its cruel n scary.. I reli hope to make my third yr a yr tt is unforgettable. i wish.

got my old flame replaced!

2006-11-11T01:15:00.000-08:00

got a replacement for my old flame tt has slipped out of my pocket... argh.. y m i always dropping n gettin my things spoilt/lost ? fated to lose e things i cherish :( lost phone twice, camera gt accident n fav sunglass jumped off the motorcycle!

aniwae, is my new pet. Simply love it! hope blue isnt too ugly.(sorry i noe is kind of zi lian but i jus love e glasses. promise lesser nxt time k! ) haha.. happy todae!!

went bugis for steamboat to cel wei jiang's 2nd bdae of e yr.

Dun ask me y. Tian **** steamboat is ex ! haf to pay for e soup! no my fav sotong!!!!! nt reli worth e money though.. heart pain bt enjoyed e time wif old frens :) had been a long day studied audit n had a tough icp class... free trade, world n Asean,Wto & mani mani omg! my world had been singapore for 21 yrs onli up til todae i realised im so miserably small in tis world.. time to see the bigger picture---> e world! awaiting for knowledge wif wide arms! Nageb is a damn knowledgeable lecturer. took me 3 yrs to noe how to appreciate him :X late better den nv.. time to slp tmr.. msm n bdae again!

2006-11-10T00:12:00.000-08:00

damn frustrating!

jus asked her how she find my hair is it too flat.She commented :" so ugly , like mamasan!"... den fought...
so m i suppose to tolerate n swallow all my sorrows.. den i pray for a bigger stomach..

2006-11-09T19:04:00.000-08:00

my baby lappie has seemed to recovered.. bt its hungry(empty wif no programs) so will gladly accept kind lendings of microsoft words & chinese installation programs from kind souls.

well,im jobless.Sometimes is kind of struggle betwn face(mian zi) & income. Wonder how of supervisor tot of me throughout the job of 3 months. Well i was not asked to help over at the other proj as promised. Disappointed but maybe is a blessing in disguise. i glad to do more den wad i tot i could during tis breakfree of job.Currently looking for a job, roadshow preferably. Able to work on either wed or thurs on weekday n some evening timming jobs. Kindly recommend if u haf lobang. Wonder if i shld teach swimming... arhh..sian.water again..

few weeks had been quite happy though many bdaes & wedding n gatherings. Below are some memories my ixus30 left for me before his accident. He was ran over by a car.. unfortunately no witness.

off for isen's bdae.. tink my curls sux now..

@villa bali .. frens for life

last shot b4 "his" fatal death, sumhow its six sense tt drove me to take few picz b4 he is gone..

now jobless n haf to get it replaced by topping up some money. Thinkin of gettin slim camera.. exilim is attractive bt canon seems reliable.. such a struggle. Open for recommendations here..
Oh ya, pretty immensed by e princess hours shin, bt not mad over it.. shin is an ideal man! n i wish i could act as e princess, coz she gets to wear n hold so mani lovely dresses n ornament! Planning for a trip to korea nex yr, anione wana come along ?

nxt wk hafin my audit test.. health had been bad these couple of wks.. always feelin restless.. i nid some motivation to study.. signed up for yoga, startin it nxt wk. excited though.. hope my passion for it will last. btw, will be selling some old clothes on blog n maybe yahoo auction when i get my camera. Interested parties, welcome to visit e blog again..

lappie is hospitalized

2006-10-20T09:56:00.000-07:00

elloz...
Im blogging finally! But cant upload picz of things like tt.. coz my lappie is seriously ill. It can detect my router--> no internet connection. Nid to be reformatted but i cant coz sumhow d drive can do the back up! freakin pizsed!

updates.. hmmm.. actuali quite alot bt i forgot coz it had been a month! haha..
well, the main one should be tt Me n My dad declared war!!! my bro & i are alliances!
Freakin unreasonable, freakin attitude n scoldings, selfish n unappreciative! I swear i will refrain for bringing frens up to my house okay? Not gonna show u who r my frens animore.. pissssed~!

alrite enough of rattling earli in e morning. cant slp somehow guess coz i dint take e chinese medication last nite.. its too heaty, my throats r like floor of the desert.. Had been shopping alot lately but seem to haf alot to buy still!! arh!!! updates to shoppers, GOLA @amk world of sports hafin sales.. male curve shoe @ 39 buckz n female @49 daMn cheap. unintentionally i bought, irresistable brand n prices. i promise kz im gonna wear it once a wk! haha.. i haf got pretty nailzzz- -- > french manicure.. wuhaha...

enough of rubbish.. LooK ! my duckaling...

adopt your own virtual pet!

stop whinning, relax people!

2006-09-27T03:31:00.000-07:00

Day for wasnt good, maybe somethings jus cant be resolved or haf no strength for it.. aniwae, found a good solution for everything that is to smile! The more u smile, e more u will put the unhappiness behind.. , hope it helps :)

jus feel like sharing these...

Mesmerized ..which girl on earth wont melt if someone so handsome plays u tis song ?
noe wad? i reli missed learning piano.. life's full of regrets

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pc9CDcHW0tw

tot tis was cool too , enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQyrxYmZnik

im so in love in e role he played in the serial.. *dreaming* ( coz its 3.30am!)

penny of thoughts

2006-09-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

URGE!
wad a word! Often e root to sins& trouble!
it started off wif an
urge to rent " jing san shun" ,
urge to chiong finish within 2 daes,
urge to break the tv, when i wan to be e one being loved by e zheng xuan!
Urge to find a guy that is ideal (dun tink such guy exist)
Urge to reconsider my relationship(but deep down i dun wan it to end)
Urge to haf thousand & one flings bt dun get attached(bt its meaningless)

Urge Urge & Urges!
e urge of insisting to rent it, led me to many questions on my mind..

Will such perfect guy exist on earth? Oh man, he's jus too perfect& doubt im good enough for someone like him. Im such a lousy girl man. Hate myself sometimes. For being selfish,attention seeking,naggy,demanding & arrogance! Hate it to e core! But sometimes i jus cant stop myself for being that although i was supposed to change!

Back fm the short trip to Batu Pahat,
i have concluded that i can only be a player in a relationship guess in the short term, I can not be a good gf. Coz i tink im too full of myself, hate that!
Always hoping tat someone else will do somethin for me wherease i haf not done ani for others. Hoping he will appear wif flowers or even a card or sudden mit up one dae bt i haf not done tis for e past few months too. so wad e hell do i expect?

Seriously i haf learnt alot from e serial. Guess mani of us had gone thru wad e guy went thru. Already haf one companion but somehow or rather u feel for another. u dunno who to choose & dunno how to bring it up, as u dun wan him/her to be wif someone else but U feel the guilt & e pain & the want to be someone u like so badly that u seem that u are gonna suffocate!

On one hand, we wan our companion to be faithful to us, on the other hand, when we meet such situations we noe nothing else helps except saying "sorry". Its such a dilemma!

Zheng Xuan(e actor)'s gf in the show asked him, knowing that u& her may face e same situation in future jus like us, will u still leave me ?

he replied " everyone noes that they will die, but they still carry on living"

How mani of us haf e courage for that ? maybe i would, when god shows me tt he is e reason of me living.

LOVe.
JUS A FOUR LETTER WORD
yet, confuses mani.
guess four years of degree course on it may not even be enough to grasp the theory.

Wads love?
How long can love last ?
does love dies overtime ?
can love ever be replaced?
Love means zero adultery,fling,crush?
Loving someone means u gonna haf sex?
Can one love two at the same time ?

queries all over in the little brainy..

Saw tis scene yest in e temple. Daddy wakes up twice in e middle of e nite to check on baby to see if he was well covered wif blanket but did nothing to e wife lying beside the baby. He was a nice father tat i noe but does it means when u haf a child, e child will replace the status of the mum ? Who e hell wans to gif birth if e child is gonna replace the husband's love for oneself..

such a disorganised post! brainy is suffocating! @ least i haf pen it down..

sharing session

2006-09-22T12:03:00.000-07:00

hmm.. tis sept had been a tough & interesting Sept, learnt alot of new tips so i wana share wif all esp girls!

As i haf blogged in earlier entries, my permed failed. Although they haf offered to redo but i doubt im going for it aft much thought,cos my hair is terribly dry!! my heart hurts so much, i miss my silky rebonded hair!

Back to the point..

*cURls*
i was taught by Mark my hairdresser who serves for reds as well some tricks to do nice curls urself. For girls who wans to perm, DIY! if u dun wana end up same fate as me.

1. Get a bottle of Revlon Equave (hydro nutrition conditioner) onlu available in salon. - this acts like a "cap" to protect ur hair b4 u blow, apply any stling cream.

2.Get a bottle of Goldwell trendline freeze pudding. ITs for styling its damn good! style within secs!

3. 4 BIG clips tat wad they used in salon.

step 1 : aft u shower, try to dry ur hair wif ur towel.
Step 2: divide ur hair into 4 sections.
step 3: apply Revlon to every section. dONt repeat e same section. shake before u apply coz e grape liquid mus be mixed wif e green tea soln. make sure u leave abt an inch apart fm ur scarp when u apply.
step 4 : now apply e freeze pudding to ur hair. evenly on each section & then twist ur hair up & pin it up. Do e same for each section.

Done! leave it to dry, go do ur face mask, watch tv or tok to ur bf! haa..
Jus remove them before u sleep n u r done..
caution : if its not totally dry rem to blow e inner hair n e top hair dry before u slp or u will get "tou feng" when u get old tats wad ah ma always say.

Now haf another tip to share..
its regarding girls who haf mani fine lines beneath e eye.

1. im still tryin tis tip but maybe u girls can try n let me know e effect too. Every morning when u wake up, wash ur eye (try not to wash ur face coz ur skin has best nurtients when u wake up) , brush ur teeth. Next use ur saliva apply onto the fine lines.. Instantly i tink it reli works for me! bt.. guess mine too jia lat it comes out when i smile again! (maybe i shldnt smile so much)

*For pple who has dark eye circles*
1. Go for chinese medication it reli works! coz it can find out wads actually failing ur blood circulation under your eye. ITs actuli due to health probs.

2. Pound cucmbers n put it in stockings n leave them on your eyes throughout e nite.
I tink tis is more efficient den slicing coz tis can fit to e contours of e eyes better.

Hope this long posting do benefit some of u .. gonna go school.. opps! cya!

learn to love myself more..

2006-09-16T00:54:00.000-07:00

yup, so i will stand infront of the mirror look at myself n say is not bad aft all, its better than e rebonded hair. Surprsingly, i tink i haf convinced myself.. i tink perm looks not bad on me.. right ? wuhaaa..

I was taught tis new song yesterday & i tot is so cute..
it goes like tis..

Father Aberham has 7 children;
7 children have father Aberham;
some of them were short, some of them were tall, but no one was just right.

raise your left ( means left hand)

Father Aberham has 7 children;
7 children have father Aberham;
some of them were short, some of them were tall, but no one was just right.

raise your left , raise your right

Father Aberham has 7 children;
7 children have father Aberham;
some of them were short, some of them were tall, but no one was just right.

raise your left , raise your right, stamp your left(feet)

Father Aberham has 7 children;
7 children have father Aberham;
some of them were short, some of them were tall, but no one was just right.

raise your left, raise your right, stamp your left, stamp your right

Father Aberham has 7 children;
7 children have father Aberham;
some of them were short, some of them were tall, but no one was just right.

raise your left, raise your right , stamp your left, stamp your right, nod your head

Father Aberham has 7 children;
7 children have father Aberham;
some of them were short, some of them were tall, but no one was just right.

raise your left, raise your right, stamp your left , stamp your right , nod your head & shake your backside~( do altogether) kinda cute isnt it ? haha.. such an innocent song, guess only kids wil haf time n enjoy tis.. we grown ups likely wont! wad has e society changed us into ? we're still suppose to haf some innocent young souls within us isnt it ???

*shrungzzz*

losing confidence

2006-09-13T01:49:00.000-07:00

I wana hide,
the last time i felt this way was 8 yrs ago,
When e hairdresser left me wif a boyish hairstyle.
heartbroken, endless tears,
i wished for the turtle shell..
8 yrs now, i feel that again,
Perm fades
leaving me wif frustration
money wasted,hair quality ruin,leaving me plenty of layers which looks horrible!
Received comments like didnt cant recognise u, wah, u seemed really stress..
omg, jus say it sucks lo..
it jus hurts even more
who can salvage my hair ?
who on earth can?
who was e damn ass who once said appearance doesnt worth a cent!!!!
-sigh-
all i dream to see everymorning is to see my straight rebonded hair again.
wanted a change bt never knew a change can make one despair..
waiting for e day when confidence returns..

new japanese perm

2006-09-11T11:40:00.000-07:00

had 25 % bdae voucher at reds intended to go for a style cut in e end was easily persuaded to do a perm. not v nicely done. Looks veri chui.. curls on e right is gg off.. damn ! $135 spent! cut n perm faints..

e process..

e wait....

a moment.. all attention was on him!!

someone actuali tease e hairdresser dat she permed too long causes pple to fall aslp! haha..

the outcome!
glam look.. bt now as i face e mirror .. *sighzz* its bad..
first time a guy waits for me to finish my hairdo. touched though! haha..
shld i go for another round of perm ? i reli hope so lea.. tis like half half one.. damn sian. n cut so much of my hair..*sobzzzz*

hot stuffs!

2006-09-11T11:19:00.000-07:00

first of all wana thank my colleagues for pooling money n bought a suprise mango cake for me to cel my bdae! & i ordered pizza for them.. had a great time! thx guys!

*Mos! 24th aug*

@ ministry of sound supporting kenneth!!

e 4ever mr sunshine aka nUS Mr ArTs & most beautiful skin! so damn happy for u dude!!!

my part time bf !

ken& his pretty cuttie partner!
(shld i curl my hair? ... i nid some change in me.. dull!!!!!)

e supporters for ken.. onli 5 of us but we shouted as if we had ten! haa..
had a veri enjoyable nite.. danced till near one plus.. first time i felt so tired & wanted to let my hair down.. kinda tipsy bt sober& behaving still.. all i knew was dance, drink & haf fun!!

26th aug *yan's bdae*

sushi teh @ PArAGOn..

me & lynette
yan subsidised 6 bucks for each..wuhaha cool n i ate quite alot & nice stuff.. payoff my hardwk at wk man.. thx yan! mUUaaaacKS!

yannie wif her little cake & pathetic lighter as candle.. haa.. nice idea though *salute* to boon & ken wif e idea

MY Moo Moo ...

wif wei boon..

queeNie wanabe..
e chair v big n comfortable.. though it states no sitting.. haha.. pls dun blame e security shu shu for nt being able to catch me sitiing on it.. its my skills too good to be caught haa..

mani happened ,had a downturn, really bad.Realised no one was there to confide in.. come to tink abt it, hafin lots of frens bt how mani m i close to, to share my worries & woes ? so frens ah for accompany for fun ? life's full of dilemma .work is never as satisfising as before bt im glad to haf known a bunch of monkeys.. haha.. lovable bunch!wif a sincere & young heart. most imptly they make me feel young again! im jus like 18 like them when we work together haha..

supper time @ lao pat sat..

fun shot!

me & ReEVe

wilson & me

e FX 4 (FUJI XEROX 4)

guEss gonna stop & prepare for my first day @ sch. thanks to Daphne woke me up fm my slp.. & was able to blog n do Mask.. tired though..
will post shuan's & lester's bdae stuff another day. facing lotsa of prob uploadin e picz.. its such a pain!

vintage 21st birthday @ cafe le caire

2006-08-20T23:11:00.000-07:00

heh peeps..

here are pics of the successful 21st bdae of mine which i would like to share with those who arent able to attend my birthday. Due to space constraint my invitation list.SORRy!

Had been spending the past two months preparing for tis day. Gettin an ideal place wif cheap+convenient+place wif nice ambience was damn tough! glad is all over. Juggling wif OTs & tis was v draining! Is over n worth it! wonderful nite!

Im proud to guide u thru e special nite of mine..

*blasting on the background on that nite was oldies.. songs of our dad n mum's time ! *

My part time bf cum my receptionist of the day together wif lyn

Me @ my guest book corner..

my hunky waiters of the nite (my helpers, thanks palz!)

pretty babes as my waitress cum urshers (muackz!)

wei jiang & I

sister clan!

swim clan!

contestants for the Ms Vintage & Mr Vintage ..

F1 Siew Lian

F2 Joanna Leong

F3 Hui Hua

im sorry she was so fast dat my camera man cant take e shot.. definitely she's better lookin den tis :)

M1 Benamin

M2 Boon tat

M3 Christopher

part 2 of contest is the guy will be given a phrase n then he wld haf to use it to come up wif a sentence to the girl..

eg.. i would love to lick your.... (*sound so corny*)

F1 & M1

F2 & M2

F3 & M3

& finally ...

e crowning of Ms Vintage & Mr Vintage

love the crowns.. (coz i chose them ) :)

It was a pleasant surprise on how the cake was brought in wif lights dim n everyone sang the bdae song.. lOove u guys jus sOOooo much !

tis is so hilarious.. we are protecting the cake haha.. we do tis every celebration of 21st bdae haa..

My first family photo..
as my maid commented she cant find ani family photo at home haha.. my dad's vintage cap is fm wei jie on my 19th bdae! vintage daddy!

Jc clan

sec skool besties & son in laws

me & Jorlyn

SIM lifesavers !! bay watchers ~ (i haben gt mine :X)

SIM clan !! warrIor MuggERS against the UOL freaking papers

ye sheng , alex & Me !

vincent , me & lester

free cake specially for me fm the cafe ! thank u !!!!

PrezzzzIes & e nice balloon !! is still floatin now aft 50 over hours.. cool

door deco to let guests differentiate e 2 parties.. thanks cai & kang guan & all that helped..

lastly, the celebration was fabulous.. initally i wanted somethin non- chalet coz i went alot of them alradi n never i expect things turned out so well, except the poor hosting . Im sorry pple, i promised i tried hard to move ard as much as i cld already. So sorri if i neglected u all , thanks for coming n i hope to see u guys soon.. cya! cheers..

arghhh..

2006-07-07T00:42:00.000-07:00

..... dislike guessing & coaxing.. is so tough to maintain a "peace & harmony" r/s.

gd day turns out to be a nightmare.. & wad makes it worse is the Mahat*n restaurant in PLAZA SING.. regret trying.. & is so ex! FIsh & Co is still the best man! i miss the squids so SO ... MUCH!

things turn well aft visiting WALA WALA.. love live band! i wan live band on my birthday party! pals of mine, grant me tis wish will u ? :)

and i haf an urge to take up drums.. ho ho...& i will be sing's outstanding female drummer !!*grinz*

moore photos

2006-07-03T20:03:00.000-07:00

ho ho.. it was a farewell dinner before i left for Thailand haha..

Sakae sushi~ lOve the Tea there..

yummy (shagged sia)

went to Rendevous hotel for high tea wif mummy frens...
They haf quite a variety of selections .. even "ding ding " sweet !
but it was kind of paiseh to help myself coz is kind of noisy when u start hammering it.. like veri no class haha..

Look at the cakes & tarts..

they are hafin a special promotion. Every 3 person dining in, if u haf a UOB card the fourth person will be free. IF u guys interested count me in ! :)

recharged!

2006-07-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

im back! After a long meddling wif tis new blogskin! iTs still undone .. *sigh*

Are e colors on the left ugly? ArgHhh.. still nid some time on it..
People! TAG BOX @ e end of the entries! Im sorry bt i dunno how to do abt it! someone help! (keep tagging!)

Thanks for those who bothered to view this lousy blog of mine. 2 months had passed.. had been a tough 2 months.. those memories shall remain in my book called "LIfe".

Flew to Bangkok one day aft my last paper.Spent 7 daes there,yup ate lots of good food. Bt sorry people no weight gain! still 41kg. I swear i had been tryin hard, dun believe gif me a ring u will hear a man's voice. ( lost my voice) as u guys noe i cant eat blend stuff unless they are spicy , bbq , flavoured or jus superb!

the 7 daezZz..

on Finair plane

My RoOm

He is gretting u in thai :"so har di cup"

BoBae complex = wholesale market!
sells cheaply bt u got to buy in bulk if not one piece's price can be 6 times as high!

Lurve my new Gucci sHades...

traditional thai dance at the hotel lobby

after so mani horrible meals, Finali we ate in the chinese restuarant!
*super nice*

All of us dining together..
LoOk @ the wonderful cusines!

I always tot people who play such machines are nuts wasting money! until i saw e adorable Doremon, I jus wan to make it MINE! *EMpty handEd thougH*

boy u gotto hide behind me!

finally ..we present the "qian shou guan ying" !

sex chat hotline staff ? :P

That period, Thailand was celebrating the King's 60th year on the Throne.Its damn grand! All kings fm all different parts of e world came to attend & everywhere was jam, no taxis wan to fetch u! unless u pay them x3 more!

Mummy went to leave a message on the BooK..

everyone is watching tv! No one works! Tv is everywhere in every shopping mall! they are damn respectful to their king lol.. all channels showin the same programme! No soccer, No movies, No news no nothing! the best part is they keep repeating the programme!

*wee wee* actuli Mummy borrowed to act chio (haha)

@siams square

in Paragon(thai) ..
tis is such a pretty wallpaper!

the fountain.. unlike bugis (spore)! no kids would take off clothes & bathe themself in public!

Swensens ice cream damn cheap convert back to sing is onli less than $10 for the 8 scope ice-cream.. (but none of my share)

Me & Mummy!

Outside of the faMous cHAktuchat (weekend market)-- dAmN cRowded!

Haf u ever wonder wad is above the clouds? this is it ! natURe is such a miracle, its jus like a DREam World..i wish to stay there forever! its so pretty!

a syringe of motivation !

2006-05-20T23:23:00.000-07:00

I feel as if i jus got another jab of motivation!

Lucas showed me his picz in US & im so envious! firstly i haf no money to travel there n secondly the NIgara waterfall is so spectacular! Other picz of his cant show bt i hope he dun mind tis coz i wana share wif all of u reading. When i was young mummy brought me to the Japanese association to watch a film on NIGara n was awesome. Is so nice to see it once again.. I wish to experience it myself one day.

is my dream to study abroad however whenever i come to think abt my super lousy english. I tot it would be better not to disgrace myself espcially tryin to catch wad the ang mo lecturers are saying.. guess i will be replyin " huh ?" . sigh.

Almost broke down last nite.. haf no strength to go on.. some trip pictures, get me motivated to pia! n earn lots of money to go HOLIDAE.. wait for me, im gonna make it!!
hope tis motivation will fights all odds... till the end!

TiMe ..waiT foR me ! ...

2006-05-16T03:52:00.000-07:00

faster faster... tts what i haf to do right now ! coz im behind plan! However finally found momentum today.. Jo is back! hope she will be wif me till then..

Aniwae... rewarded by the entertaining TV OF MINe on monday nite... although was recorded version..

Yin zhen shu n & dA SHU are my only motivation now...! Lurve e show " soO much " no no "thEEEssssssseeeeeeeeeee Much " wuhahhaa..

sUper band oso veri entertaining.. always the unexpected get out! aniwae pls dun do tt to the bof of them :

*Brods*
Wonderful n solid Vocalz.. one nite in bEJiNG WAS "ZHAN!"

mIlo peng.. FrENz fren.. aniwae.. Proud of 21'eeez.. Creative & nice music delivery.
Lurve e super retro ... i had tt wig on before too!(stupid MR ma.. dun wan gimme tt pic! )

"perfect!" all time favouritez.. Gimme beta music, drive me on peeps!

Sa - Tur - Day

2006-05-13T23:43:00.000-07:00

Unhappiness arised even before reaching tea garden..

tea garden was flooded! inside too cold, outside noisy no seats. Managed to grab a seat outside alone, bt pple were talkin around me. Mosquitos bit me @ my pathetic squeezy seat! Three times! i tried to grad e seat aft every table leave their seats. All tries failed! those guys were evil to snatch fm me & i ended up lookin like an idiot!

it was 5 oradee & i was sian oradee.. So we rode to science centre hoping to catch Poisedom.. bt... full!!

So loITTEred ! e park.. saw the telephone for the legenary Teletubbies! wuhahahha!

as he insist in watchin a movie since it is a wasted day. Headed to great world. Left first row for MI 3! REsult was i felt nauseous & headache! tOm cruise movement reli caught my eyes blur.. as he was basically moving n flyin in front of my eyes!
No more first row FOrever!

Aniwae.. i manage to take a pic in the far east florist beside tea garden.. couldnt find their cold room for e roses ! wasted!!!

I love the swing.. If i haf a penthouse..! i will grab tt!!!!! I wan a penthouse!

Time to study... n its 23:37 pm n e best thing.. kz took my notes home... gonner... let me see wad i can do.. im gonna flug baby... moan..

I lurve the seafood pizza fm our skool Mega....! chesse CHeeeezzze ..

My Grumbles of the day!
oNE fLY FLEW direcT INTO mY eyes !!
One cockRoach.. dunno how long has it been on my body, Started moving down my arms as i was waLking home! dAMn yuckzzzzzz.... i bathed myself till my skin r gOnna cruMPled for that!!!

STop comparing , bACK off !

2006-05-11T13:34:00.000-07:00

Accounts was a Ultimate set back! Feeling the big hole in me. stupid AdAM's equity theory!wHAT stands in my world is input / output not = 1 !
4 months of studyin goes down the drain. Sec upper ? shring... i guess i will get far from tat..

wanted to catch daisy aft tt... Caught in e rain when we r rIDing over... was in jeans.. n DRENCHED! it was SOooo cold.. & no cinemas in marina area is screening it!

Did the blog n took me two dayz! arHH....

Pek chek till max!!!

Felicia Chin quoted " if u can memorise & haf exam techniques, u r veri likely gonna make it " -- I dun haf memory so does it mean i can forget abt studyin in UNi! i hate the idea of lagging behind n pple will keep askin u hows paper n grades! Damn!!! leave mi alone!

Aniwae met up wif old frens for a mini celebration on sat.. which kind of made me felt beta as there r still frens of mine who DOESNT COMPARE!! :)

LurVE u alL... u r the only shoulder i can lean back when i feel so weary struggling in my field..

ah Leong & xiao tian

watch endorsement ? (UgLY! )

aH leong, bDAE girl & ah Boh

I noe i look veri shag n ugly... N i lost 3 kg !.. medicine doesnt seem to work on me animore.

all Couply couply ... sigh..

Adidas singlet , new pet of mine!

2006-04-27T00:33:00.000-07:00

lalalala....

yo... so H-A-P-P-Y today!

Studied fm 9 - 6.10 pm .. cool.. n i found tt im useful todae at least to someone.. thanks to Qiu hui! muackzzz!

n i found a secret n conducive place to studi in school when everywhere is flooded wif no empty seats!!! Im smartie pie! (for such things)... bt pardon me fm being selfish.. i will onli share the secret hideout aft exam. coz i dun wana get caught n pple snatching wif me! or even sharing hahahha.a...

Ladies n gettleman....

My love of the day...

adidas light green singlet! damn nice!......

gonna go slp... tmr nid to studi.. n im recharged ! coz..

" ADIDAS , my strength , my life!!"

find one day i will take a pic of all the adidas pdts i haf.. hahaha.. adidas pls find me for modelling.. or sponsor ?

im sick of this skin.. no time to change.. i will do it soon.. so pple bear wif it!!

Its sundae ...

2006-04-23T15:36:00.000-07:00

Its sunday..

Had a tiff...

Books made me sigh..

My msn nick : "笨女人: turning evil, curb me.."

HAppened to see tis on Lucas's nick : "destroy the evil in you, let the angel of you regin! "

finally someone inspired me..
And we are both working hard towards it..

relationship test..

2006-04-22T23:39:00.000-07:00

Went to view ah lian's blog & saw tis, heres my result..

***Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating***

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle.
But you may be ready in a couple of years.
You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment.
And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyouridealrelationshipquiz/
so wads urs ?

Pondering.. how many people around u are true friends, people u can share ur woes ?

turning evil, curb me.

2006-04-20T23:36:00.000-07:00

11 dayz, life changed drastically.

I know how bloody useless m i.

hardwork doesnt pay off

Dumbness is the end of the world

Fairness varies with individuals

Hurt & disappointment lies deep in.

The world had discard me totally.

Evilness is emerging.

Emotions are running out of control.

Haircut,driving,yelling are jus temporary pills..

Freaking irritated, pissed, demoralise, dishearted n Extremely surrender to the breaking down body.

Its gonna be a new start.

the way guys highlight reli look like durians "esplanade" though..

Life is so Ironic

2006-04-16T23:54:00.000-07:00

Im fearful of tests n exams, my fren currently a relief teacher has to set Tests!

I hate teaching teaching lessons, now Im teaching.

I used to hate guys who rides bike, now i dun haf a choice many a times n IM a passenger.

I hate parents preaching & nagging now im becoming one.

I used to argue wif frens who insisted tt private transport was a necessity, now i crave to haf one.

I used to think "love" can be so great tt couple can leave on bread & water but now i wish to meeta smart n stable n gentlemanly eligible bachelor..

In the past, people who i haf seen in sch for 4 yrs, i speak less than 5 sentences to them for a year, n todae when all of us gathers for a dinner.. we haf endless to talk abt.. SoO.. ironic..

I hated people who compare but nowadayz i jus cant stop comparing... & i hate it!

In the past, whenever i haf a crush, I will dream to haf him as i grow older i realise ,ironically i realise being friends is so much comfortable..

I tot spending on skin care products had been a waste if u had been taking gd care of your face all this while.. now im buying every pdt in the market tt might cure my eyes. Ironically i noe none will work, coz my dark circles are gettin for bad to worse coz of my worsening health.

Life is so ironic.. I love the beauty n blessing to be alive bt many a times,im so tortured wif the terrible process.

gosh.. i dunno wad m i typing.. so tired.. If u ask me whether haf i been studyin i will answer yes. But ironically, i haben being studyin much. The best explanation that can explain tis is, my brains work ten times slower than others. Im such a slow retarded girl.. I shldnt haf made it to uni..

sighz..
.............

Budget airport

i MISS my calf muscles..

Advance 21st bdae simple yet quality bdae!

adidas sunglass for our backpacker..

wish ah cai will realise what he prefers to work as n be happy in whatever he does.
hui hua, stay sporty n happy
kang guan, hope his BRUnei trip will be slack n memorable
Siew tong stay happy serving army
Lastly, our wei zhi will start lookin for a job n goes HK in june n allow me to tag along! haha..

me

2006-04-11T23:02:00.000-07:00

Love

Love to haf freedom of expression
Love to haf a hour glass figure
Love to be a brainy
Love the mild sun ray when mood is sunny
Love the drizzle of rain when feelin low, coz someone is weeping like me,not alone.

Love to be myself (a half dreamer n realist)
Love the way when my heart smiles, upon seeing kids' innocent acts
Love the big blue sky
Love to be a country side where no one knows me, tt i can plant my own strawberry
Love the chance to look ard the world
Love to see my beloved Dolly again
Love the way my Dad is now
Love colours..
Love to be loved, True love
Love to be understood
Love to be reloved
Love all the fun i had in life
Love the way i was in Jc
Love the feeling of being pampered
Love to shop
Love to teach in a orphanage
Love to try nice clothes
Love to do my best for all around me
Love to do my best for all that pin hope in me... Bt IM so tired
Love to haf a room of my own
Love to stop hearing arguments n fights
LOve LovE LoVE... I lOVe so much.. bt how much can i actually haf by me ?

Hate

hate the periodic selfishness in ME
hate the envious character in ME
hate the sub conscious inferior Me
hate the Misunderstandings
hate the wrongful acts
hate the stubborness
hate the hot temper
hate the sun
hate the bo chap frens attitude
hate the act of wanting to be alone when wif frens
hate the grumbling me
hate the useless me
hate the talk big action small Me
hate the stupidity me
hate the forgetful me
hate the feeling of not being understood
hate the splendid me
hate the me who spends to vent anger n lonliness
hate to share a room
hate not to haf privacy
hate the hypocrites
hate those who back stabbed
hate people who puts on a mask
hate people who are insincere
hate salesperson who are rude
hate colleagues who are badmouthers
hate office politicz
hate when mum gets indirect
hate when family haf disputes
hate when i haf same dish everyday
hate the jams on 74 every morning
hate the unknowing blueblacks i get in the morning
hate the frens who appeared n left my life
hate the me who haf so much to fulfill n haf yet to made any possible
hate the slackness in me
hate the dark circles tat i haf
hate the skinnies
hate the rough skins on my legs
hate the weak heart that im having
hate to drink chinese medicine twice a day
hate to be manipulated
hate to be left choiceless
hate to haf so much frens n none can made it deep down into me
hate the surface me
hate the realistic me
hate the indecisive me
hate the soft hearted in me
hate the feeling on fighting with time
hate the feelin of not letting my body rest
hate the feelin i feel r/s doesnt work
hate the feelin when i jus cant remember things tat i studied many times
hate the feelin tat i worked doubly hard n end up getting results tat are far from others who dint work hard
hate the feeling of exam
hate to be compared
hate to despise myself
hate the mood swinging "ME"
hate to put on a brave front
hate to say sorry
hate to coax others
hate to socialize
hate the unfilial me.. i love my grandma n i reli do
hate the "kou shi xin fei " me.. (utterly, damn!)
hate to be taken advantage
hate to be forced to do things
hate the society

haTE hATE hATE...

cAN Hate ever be neutralized by love ?
bt i guess even if its neutralize.. life becomes zero & apparently leads to meaningless.

LIfe is jus too tough at times.. many a times , u may seem u haf many things, but u noe deep down.. u haf NOTHING!

.... I jus wan to fly.. leave me alone! let me be.. gimme a chance to make it up for those childhood dayz tat i haben had before.

Present for the yr is no presENT!

2006-04-07T00:24:00.000-07:00

mY LEGs are paralysed! I feel every step on ground is so sore n pain! How i wish i can remain bed riden for a yr n skip exam haha..

Startin fm yest nite went to hunt a present for anniversary x change.. however due to much criticism by tis grp of buddies.....

zeBRa!

Wad a coincidence! same color outfit !

& to my surprise he dint prepare a gift yet too.. so we went " Japan" to shop till our legs are sored...
japan international airport!

k la...
walked fm orchard -> bugis ->orchard -> cityhall -> n orchard again!

in total patronized 2 zhapalang watch shop , 5 city chain outlets & 1 fossil shop at Hereen... n got nothing in e end. Either price nt within mr bai budget or design doesnt come in pair. An uncle actualli offered 2 at 100.. sigh..

onli gotten levis n a skool bag for my bro.. at 25 buckz each!

nice skirt huh ?

Dinner at A rome restuarant @ MS, opposite double O.

(my recommendation)
pls try the spagetti wif cabonara & bacon! i guarrantee u will lOVE it!.. try the choc suffle too!

wine corner...

ugly pic ... bt most well dressed for e entire yr! ... jus for the day.

love tis art!!!.. im the focus of the art! hahaha...

stupid blogger... waste so much time.. blogging... hang hang hang!

apriL fool ..

2006-04-02T00:59:00.000-08:00

Morning.. went to qing ming.. wow.. every yr is such a mental torture e moment u noe, u r heading to a veri hot , crowded & full of smoke from josticks!! But its such a impt dae to ur ancestors.. coz u r visiting dem like once a yr! so must go okay, youngsters, lazy shldnt be an excuse!

FoodIE for po po , gong gong n kor kor.. n....

wake up the idea! tis is not red light district! its my ROOm!

iM BUzy!!!

...

Constipation...
lame to take picz in toilet.. bt great experience hahaha..

First neo print of US...

Anyone wana endorse us for ad ? looks like an ad..

act cute!!

calling... his mistresssss...

while waiting....
Tom Yam!

see the chillis?

Spicy..!!
bt we realise a secret to drink.. when u gulp down all at once its not spicy! try it!

OH ya.. n i bought $65 worth of bio essence for dark circles, pray hard it works tis time or else im nt gonna buy animore unless its MTM!!!

SnaKee life

2006-03-27T13:59:00.000-08:00

Im gliding & slackin all over e place!.. i nid some moral booster! Mr Seet gave me one 3hr of nagging todae.. kk im moving.. iM finishin wif da chang jin.. tis stupid show make me slp less than 15 hrs in 3 dayz! so as u can imagine, im gonna be in e zoo soon.

Had pretty bad toothache n gastric last wk.. its wisdom tooth! damn.. 300 buckz again! still deciding whether to pluck or shld i say, i m GUTLESS!heard all the scary experiences of some getting their teeth drill, smashed , digging down the gums! gosh.. my gums r fragile, stil rem , e dentist clean teeth n ended up my mouth full of blood. Can fight with my menses hahaha!

Aniwae shld i pluck ?

heh ! i found a new place to studee on sats! cool n quiet n comforting! kaoz! bagus! tats SIM hq! library.. though im nt a member of the skool bt im fm SIM too! its small bt cozy haf mini cafe n bizness centre(thumbs up! ) indeed its a well known commercialize skool.. poor payers (me!)

piczz piczz piczz! forgive the shag look of us. Who bothers when u r there to studee rite? *winks*

Readin on campus superstar while waiting ..

On the library crouch :

easily reached com stationz fm e seat..

.... still reading.....

....... readin magazinEz isnt saturday meant to be so ? Im still reading on the samE MAgazzzZINE!!!

end up.. we read magazines n spend rest of time dozing off.. too comforting.. even for me who seldom slp other place other den my bed.*smilez*

headed to visit the new renovated CATHAY movie complex at doBY ghaut.

at the ticket booth.. e posters behind changes!

Kachang puteh stall!

Is ex! $3.20 for 2! guess i can buy 2 big packets fm ntuc..

well wasnt very impress by the new buiding lei, bt there haf a variety of finger food. cakezz and mani others are sold there too..! bt.. down to MONEY money money..

a month ago had Qh celebration, sad to say jus gotten e picz a couple of daz ago.

i prefer my back view.. beta than front

its Us lol.. (center white, is girl of the daz..)

2006-03-21T00:43:00.001-08:00

will u vote for someone u like or someone who is capable ? In short will u vote blindly?

Kinda contradicting huh.. if its ur fren, u cant possibly nt support ya.Aniway, I will stick to my slogan " Everything happens for a reason". Brace up, rearrange the jadded stone infront & step &moveover fast. (By a famous philospher, Joanna Boh) haha.

Miss one figure on stage, Yuyang.. miss his mesmerizing eyes & outlook..can i find an older clone :) Adraino is out too todae.. hoi can dun watch campus superstar le la.. haha.. Renfred indeed haf a strong fan base man.. sigh.
chionging "Da Chang Jin" dese dayz. But at the sloweset speed ever.wonder y so many pple ard me haf tis serial haa.. aniwae, benefits me. *grinz*

Facing dillema these daz on whether to continue helpin my kid tuition during my exam period or to leave him in lurch. I cant bear to do it bt doubt i can afford e time. Haf full day revison classes if i were to go over twice a wk every wkday. Guess my papers are gonna "chui". None of my frenz ard can replace me for tis one month ? Responsibility or Studies? sigh..

I trained n commited so much on him, until there are drastic improvements. 98 for maths & 82 for chinese. I cant bear to let my efforts go down the drain.. wad should i do ? *sighz*

and macro makes my hair falls more! Help!

Let hair down day!

2006-03-18T02:55:00.000-08:00

Hey noe wad? I had an enjoyable day, it will be complete if my taped the entire Da chang Jing for me.. arh..! only tape 15 mins.. gonna hamtam her tmr morning! anione haf the vcd lend me la.. i pay u 20 buckz! negotiable.. interested tag ! tag me! haa.

Oh ya.. intially was in high spirits but flame was seized by a long near to hour wait at the carpark. Sigh~

Aniwae.. went to open the campus account! got my first cheque book in life!! cool.. i owe who money come come i issue cheque. Guess the mini debit wil come soon. hoho.. gonna open as mani account as possible to save for a holiday trip to maybe hk or paris! Lovely~~ find a lover in paris.. haha..

See.. Blueblack again when i wake up! & someone "sor" blueblack for me in the KFC lol.. SCreamz! pain!!!

Den headed to Jurong for ice skate gosh! my first skating experience in 21 years of life!

@Mount Fuji!

Queing for Tix.. gt student rate.. heng.

YiPee.. lEtZ gO!

So MaNI pple!!
wadz my mama doin man?? a little girl age ard4 was skating lol! im so xia suay bt heng nv fall.. damn wet la.. let the picz do the toking..

Chek it out my shoe size!!

ReaDy to go !

Tis one is a beta pix other than the other.. other than theres an extra person who walks past.

Hop on! lets rush off for our movie.

Do i Look like a little kid wif a big helmet?

dECided on "Date movie" well.. a very short shall tink an hour onli lol! Bt veri funny n messy plot, bt made KZ laugh till he fell out of his seat.. ahhaha.. Bt ex to watch on weekend considering its so short.

Ever seen a guy wif 8 nipples? ... go watch!
Bt not bad la.. can gif it a shot guys. Bt i wana go for big momma.. m i rite wif the title ? hmm..

THen was a competition....

Guess who won ?

Clearly shown! Coz i climbed the highest ho ho.. i can go further bt.. gia gia ei ki bae lor.. haha..

Nice place.. tink next time when im down, i will climb all the way up n cry & share my woes wif the stars. Up there, u will feel u r so much closer to the starzzZ..
WANA noe where isit rite? its a veri nice park bt not Pasir Ris.. bt sumwhere near my house.. :P a place full of memories, as my mum used to hold my hand under the sorching sun, sending me for piano classes.. Mummy is so good. Hugz.. Now i regret, how i wish i can continue learning now, hu wil wan to take up an aunty for class. sigh~

Theres toot toot train too! Manage to catch a couple vibrating the train earlier on.. Hoi hoi hoi.. ur imagination goin wild rite? tink i dunno.. aRH ?

Nope.. not some ghostly ting la.. Its artistic isnt it? ... the blurness covers the imperfect areas, great!

aiyo.. how can possibly haf no self shots neh ? haa..

TO end, a big Kiss!!

M-U-A-C-K-Z!

WHOs the ganster beside me ?*nice scar!*

siao le la, gonna eat salted vegetables wif tapioca porridge fm tmr le.. BrOKE.. bt well worth it, GREAT DAY! "yi pee ya ya yi pee yi pee ya!"..

SunnY DAe..

2006-03-16T14:15:00.000-08:00

Its a sunny dae & i hate it!

Dilemma should i study or play. Coz u see its first dae aft mock papers.. bt.. dint study much of macro n attend the exam. so damn guilty. I wana play but all else busy.. sigh..

Meanwhile slack , blog n listen to "CHANCE CHANCE". mESMERized in the shadow of Yu yang a contestant of campus superstar. My ideal husband external package! guess im too old for him huh ? rem intro me if u guys see similar breed ard ! haha..

Hope haf ur day been ? Hope its not a tough dae for u as weekend is jus right at the corner :)

hey hey~ im healed!

2006-03-16T01:37:00.000-08:00

Im healed.. i wanted to tell u all couple dayz ago bt somehow i cant uoload picz gt to so much to share n show.. bt now guess gt to cut short.

BTW, im healed thanks so much guys. Im enlightened by a fren's blog sharing her thailand interacting experience wif the kids in the nursery. Touched n enlightened by her posts. Life are suppose to be innocent, without hatred & grudges. I should learn from that. Contacting wif lifes tat are more vulnerable than U, u will noe wad u r facing are not too bad afterall.

Guess too be the old carefree me, time to go back for some social work services. Only there i can see sincere appreciation & innocent smiles.

bTW, mr V! thanks for introducing me to Mr Tan. He helped me mend for free. Gosh that was so heartwarming. On our first meeting & abruptly called n visited me, he mended for me at zero cozt. Guess its a blessing in disguise...!

By the way , my mum returned me the 300 buckz as my bro dint wanted. Only demanded for a new piece. Well im at my wits, only china does tat kind of trophy cant possibly fly there huh ?

Lets put an end to the down stuffs. Todae was e last paper.. n i dint go . dint studee enough to turn up. Busy searching n sending n collecting the trophy.. arh.. god pls bless tat i will be enlightened a way to understand my MACRO.

Saw tis a wk ago, gonna share wif u guys..

Look carefully its not a normal car plate. It has names.. SUch lovely husband cum daddy isnt it? * grinz*

as it was early before goin to east coast for seafood big treat, we went marine parade shoppin centre & saw BIG Uno stackO! CUTie kidz. wonder if it falls on the head wil they concuss.. haha.

TaKin a pic while my brain decides on one restaurant to dine. So mani.. how to choose ? OH YA Btw is my new cap! haha.. nice ? :P its FOC again!

He is not queuing for free gift bt..

Its JUMBO .. !

Its a orangie land in there! keke..

dun tell me , u tink he is the one who specially arranged hor ? fat hope! haha..

Cereal Prawn!! I tell u guys its veri nice! ate it first in my lifetime.. veri YUMmy! mus go try!

Black Pepper crab!! our ultimate aim! while others eat chilli only the extra JO insits on black pepper hee. if ani of u eat long beach's pepper crab tell mi if its nice coz they claimed that they are THe best .. *shrungs*

say "qi~"

Went to eat TAPAN YAKI! its the last place in spore tat we can eat i tink.. the one at bugis n j8 oradi clozed down. was lookin forward n... turned to be DISAppointing!! arh.. ex summore.. hai.. ani nice tepan yaki to recommend ? The one in J8 was the best i ever eat.. since like food in spore are gettin pretty normal huh. No wonder my weight now drops to 42 kg.. Sigh.. "all i wan for tis yr is FATS!! " Haa..

gud nite my babes n hunkie readerz...

Dropped to the bottom of the well ..

2006-03-11T23:10:00.002-08:00

I dropped & dropped dead deep down til the bottom of the well. Heart shatters wif all the energy i have. Im now nothin left wif a breath.. How i wish somethin could put me to sleep till eternity. I hate the world. Its never ending sufferings. Perhaps my life is suppose to be extreme highs & lows or perhaps its my retribution be it for the past 20 yrs or for my lifes before. If nid be, can i haf it all together. I have no extra energy to withstand ani of that sorts.

I hate myself, hate my life, hate my attitude and hate the jinx in me.

Today, supposed to wake up at 8am to study HRM. My body retaliated. Head was heavy & eyes were droppy. M i reli sick or isit my subconcious mind reli wanted a long sleep, a sleep that can bring me to a world of my own wheres there is only a ME. I hope i can bring someone wif me but i noe i cant. I never love someone as much as i loved myself & my way of life will jus let the other party feel annoyed. Guess i'll never meet the one for life. ... & i took panadol to curb.

Nothing goes in.. mind is EMPTY, heart is EMPTY.. only "crystal plaque" flashes.
No talking. Suddenly i hate myself .. hate to come back to tis home. I wish i can shift to a place of my own , that only has a ME. No interactions, no conflict no nid for any accomodations..SULK, SLEEP ,SCREAM , YELL , CRY.. as i wished*

Jus as i saw a tag by "V" on my blog, i quickly went to hunt for the shop he recommended. Boss not in. Sec time i called finally he spoke to me. I was glad tt he dint reject me flat. I tot i've got HOPE. Jus as i was excited, tryin to reach the plaque in the box, with another hand on the phone. The cover opens. n "piang" . My heart stopped beating for a moment. Right after the call, the bottomed up tears rolled.. I knew my heart can never beat the same animore.

I hate myself.. Y will it drop ? y r u so cruel to break my hope ? .. I haf no answer.. uncontrollably tears flowed during lunch. Grandma & maid look at me wif the ?? look.She taught i was crying due to stress that i used to but Im not although i dint finish studying. I controlled bt it flowed. The moment will be in my 21 years of life history. Never to be erased. There goes my pride n confidence.

Mr tan, my only hope called. He insited its acrylic n wans to help mending. I dunno wad better words can i use to express my greatest gratitude towards him. He said he could wait if i could rush down. Exam or PLaque? dillema.

I wil go down on MONDAY. i took the bus. I gt the urge to ask for confirmation of the exam time. TO my horror its 2pm rather than 2.30. I called Lyn wanting to inform her. To my suprise she reached. I was lost, i ended it in a harsh way. I apologised for that. Rushed down , to flag cab. No cab wans to take me. I couldnt wait animore,i booked. When i finished bookin another cab came. caNcelled tt.

Reached hall when the exam started. MInd was blank.. sqUeezed all i had in me.. left aft 3 hrs.

Went to roam on the streets. A well known shopaholic who shops to cure all unbalanced emotions. Spent, dint cure bt ache even more.

Back home, never i dare to raise my head esp to him. Im such a failure cant even grip somethin well huh. or m i jus damn at luck lost fones 3 times, once recently haben saved up now another gone.. Tis feelin is much worse than losing fone. Im a loser.

jUS as was abt to haf dinner, spoon fell i saved it usually my arm n got scalded. Its pain bt inside one is worse!

Dad came yelling he dint buy our unit number n it opened! ...... I wanted to tell my maid buy it for me. I got an instict a strong one bt due to the plaque i forgot. n it opened! second time! on sat, i bought a number bt dint buy i bet as i normally did. It came out first prize. I could haf won enough to make plague for him..

Searched thru the website... saw similar one bt its in US.. sigh.. dun dare to tell him the other side is out to. Dunno how to make my heart rest. Went down to draw a total of $300 cash. I spoke to him no reply. till now the money is still lying on his bed , untouched .

Wads more is coming, god can u tell me, pls dun kick me down the well everytime i start climbing.. strengthless. lost heart to heart talk frenz, so near yet so far.. no one.. There was a saying for everyone, theres one hug tat can cure all pains & crys...

Dropped to the bottom of the well ..

2006-03-11T23:10:00.001-08:00

Dropped to the bottom of the well ..

2006-03-11T23:10:00.000-08:00

I dropped & dropped dead deep down til the bottom of the well. Heart shatters wif all the energy i have. Im now nothin left wif a breath.. How i wish somethin could put me to sleep till eternity. I hate the world. Its never ending sufferings. Perhaps my life is suppose to be extreme highs & lows or perhaps its my retribution be it for the past 20 yrs or for my lifes before. If nid be, can i haf it all together. I have no extra energy to withstand ani of that sorts.

I hate myself, hate my life, hate my attitude and hate the jinx in me.

Today, supposed to wake up at 8am to study HRM. My body retaliated. Head was heavy & eyes were droppy. M i reli sick or isit my subconcious mind reli wanted a long sleep, a sleep that can bring me to a world of my own wheres there is only a ME. I hope i can bring someone wif me but i noe i cant. I never love someone as much as i loved myself & my way of life will jus let the other party feel annoyed. Guess i'll never meet the one for life. ... & i took panadol to curb.

Nothing goes in.. mind is EMPTY, heart is EMPTY.. only "crystal plaque" flashes.
No talking. Suddenly i hate myself .. hate to come back to tis home. I wish i can shift to a place of my own , that only has a ME. No interactions, no conflict no nid for any accomodations..SULK, SLEEP ,SCREAM , YELL , CRY.. as i wished*

Jus as i saw a tag by "V" on my blog, i quickly went to hunt for the shop he recommended. Boss not in. Sec time i called finally he spoke to me. I was glad tt he dint reject me flat. I tot i've got HOPE. Jus as i was excited, tryin to reach the plaque in the box, with another hand on the phone. The cover opens. n "piang" . My heart stopped beatiing for a moment. Right after the call, the bottomed up tears rolled.. I knew my heart can never beat the same animore.

I hate myself.. Y will it drop ? y r u so cruel to break my hope ? .. I haf no answer.. uncontrollably tears flowed during lunch. Grandma & maid look at me wif the ?? look. I controlled bt it flowed. The moment will be in my 21 years of life history. Never to be erased. There goes my pride n confidence.

Mr tan, my only hope called. He insited its acrylic n wans to help mending. I dunno wad better words can i use to express my greatest gratitude towards him. He said he could wait if i could rush down. Exam or PLaque? dillema.

I wil go down on MONDAY. i took the bus. I gt the urge to ask for confirmation of the exam time. TO my horror its 2pm rather than 2. I called Lyn wanting to inform her. To my suprise she reached. I was lost, i ended it in a harsh way. I apologised for that. Rushed down , to flag cab. No cab wans to take me. I couldnt wait animore,i booked. When i finished bookin another cab came. caNcelled tt.

Reached hall when the exam started. MInd was blank.. sqUeezed all i had in me.. left aft 3 hrs.

Went to roam on the streets. A well known shopaholic who shops to cure all unbalanced emotions. Spent, dint cure bt ache even more.

Back home, never i dare to raise my head esp to him. Im such a failure cant even grip somethin well huh. or m i jus damn at luck lost fones 3 times, once recently haben saved up now another gone.. Tis feelin is much worse than losing fone. Im a loser.

jUS as was abt to haf dinner, spoon fell i saved it usually my arm n got scalded. Its pain bt inside one is worse!

Dad came yelling he dint buy our unit number n it opened! ...... I wanted to tell my maid buy it for me. I got an instict a strong one bt due to the plaque i forgot. n it opened! second time! on sat, i bought a number bt dint buy i bet as i normally did. It came out first prize. I could haf won enough to make plague for him..

Searched thru the website... saw similar one bt its in US.. sigh.. dun dare to tell him the other side is out to. Dunno how to make my heart rest. Went down to draw a total of $300 cash. I spoke to him no reply. till now the money is still lying on his bed , untouched .

Wads more is coming, god can u tell me, pls dun kick me down the well everytime i start climbing.. strengthless. lost heart to heart talk frenz, so near yet so far.. no one.. There was a saying for everyone, theres one hug tat can cure all pains & crys...

a pin pierced into me

2006-03-09T00:26:00.000-08:00

Haf lots to upload n share.. bt today i nid to blog somethin tat is more impt.

Somethin i can cast all my mock exams n my studies aside. I broke my brother's kumon award plag.. although 2 of us me n my maid is the cause but .. ends up seems like i gonna get things solved. Coz.. reshift the furnitures in the room was my idea. Coz i wanted to create a bigger space for the bof of us.

Sigh..

I apologised , called up all the numbers in the yellow pages n mass sent 5 companies
to plead them to remake one for me as most of them refuse to make a single piece. One will coz me abt $300 n tats even greater den my 1 month tuition fee. before tis was fone, now tis. Im broke.. wonder if i can ever make it for my desired holidae.. always wanted to go .. bt always coz of money issue or others missed e chance. Guess tis time as well..

When the piece of little crystal cut my leg. I saw blood n usualli i will make a hoo ha n stuff bt tis time i tot was a retribution for breaking it. I know its veri important n cherished by him. So by all means i swear i will make him a new one.

He doesnt tok to me nor sit near me. His messenger is now my mum n maid. I forgave his attitudes till a couple of mins ago. I went out to confront him aft hearing him showing attitude to my mum. I xplained to him all i haf done & reminded him to behave like a grow up. His stubborness & selfishness gt to change. No one ever talk through wif him. I hope i did. For past14 years , tis has never happened to us.

My heart is aching, m i doing the right thing? can someone tell me ?

Chilli padi me!

2006-02-25T23:57:00.000-08:00

boring n frustrating!

Im not in control of my body & brain. My body doesnt rest when others r oreadi in deep sweet dreamz, I wake when others aradi spent half their daytime. Cant study during late nite. Eazily irritated, fiery fiery me. So pple wana provoke me.. Move away!

worried for exams bt yet mind doesnt co-operate. *shrungs*

I wan a rOom of my own.. hate the feelin of sharing wif my bro. No privacy. Esp when parents squeeze in to tok. NoizY! Diff timings to study make mi unable to slp earli. I wan a rm of my own. I wan to feel homely , i wan a place for mi to look fwd to rest in aft a long day out.

Hmm.. FONE FONE FONE.! FReakin fone makin mi pissed. I wan get another fone bt nid 2 singtel plan to get a gd buy. Gonna sell tis fone its value is falling tremendousli n its veri diff for mi to load picz fm tis fone to blog.. tats y i dun blog often.. ARhh.. pple who wana noe more abt Jo's life.. kindly gimme ur upgrade plans can ? I will be veri thankful! haha.

Not much pic.. jus tis.. ME & CBR bike ?

cool ? i tink i gt the biker "seh" bt too dangerous. cars are beta choice for me.

Went for fortune telling along china town last wk. He is damn accurate told mi abt my illness, my kidney n heart too weak to pump the blood ard the body. No more vigorous sport for me! does it mean ? JOanna aint no SUNSHINE animore ? sigh.. hope tis wil nt affect my swim prospects in future.

He says since i dint get married @19 it wil be 28! goSH by den.. who wil wan a shag aunty , full of wrinkles n freckles? haha.. somethin im glad to noe is he say , my future wil be beta than when im young :) god's fair if tat happens. Guys go gif it a try? heard his prediction on r/s n health is uncanny accurate! opens onli 7- 10pm!heard Dick lee went too.

arH.... I Wan.. a house wif a rOOm of my own n walk in wardrobe n a Roof garden for mi to haf deep tots at nite!~~~~ will tis little dream of mine come true ? Jus like Tai Ling fm LOVERS IN PARIS. finished the show n only word i can say is "fabulous" ! but i dun quite get the ending, guys aft watchin explain to me if u all get it ya ?

gonNa study..

Memories ..

2006-02-18T22:00:00.000-08:00

Strangers, acquaintances,
And later friends
As people enter your life,
making a difference.
In presence, then memories
Now here, now gone
With each passing night
And days that dawn.
One for a need, another for a season,
Yet another for a lifetime.
Each for a purpose,
Come in your life for sometime.
The need met, the purpose over,
It is time for them to leave.
Whether you like or not,
Or unto them you cleave.
Some day, you have to let go,
If not today or tomorrow, then the day after.
Why cry and wail, when it is time
Make the moment sweet with smiles and laughter.
As you part and say goodbye,
Treasure the memory you have to carry.
For, that is what you will live with now,
Memorable moments of a time temporary.

Written by Ritesh Nair

valentines day

2006-02-16T23:40:00.000-08:00

How did u spend your v day my dear friends? Hmm.. with your dearli sweetie or wif a bunch of great pals or spent like with your books n computer game?

Whatever it is, its jus a normal day after all rite? When one gets older, u wil find every day is jus another day. That was how i felt for my chinese new year :) I guess it wil be great to go overseas for a short tour to recharge.

Well my v day was nothin veri special but jus a day i nid to go back for noon lect. N my kz haf both noon n nite make up class till 9pm so .. we met for a lunch. N guess wad? is a low coz one.. i ate nice nasi brani at holland V! n his was "she cai fan" oso often know as "chap cai peng". He loves tt as he n Brad wans to be entreprenuer in dis line. hahaha..

went dinner wif kEn n clique at BREEKS.. we were the clowns there i bet! wif all our videoing n picture takin wif flashes. Guess the couples who wanted some romantic atmosphere mus haf cursed us! wuhahhaa..
but we had videos so too big to be sent.. next time get le den upload to share.

My v-day gifts!

from Qiu Hui... she made the choc by herself ok! tHAnkz

from KenneTH.. THANKzz part timer.

a necklace that i eyed on a couple of months ago n a never wither flower!
unexpensive gifts tt makes mi treasure. Thanks! guys should learn fm tis guy, he is good. Real flowers cost up to 70 sing dollars while he onli spend $4.90 on tis flower for me!!!! shld i smile or cry ? haha.. Well im contented.. very.

as we were strolling at chijmes lookin at the expensive dinner n romantic dinner couples are enjoyin . I found a spot behind the chapel tt we could sit n enjoy the music n dim light like others @ ZERO COST! HAaa..

Below are some taken by our claimed "artistic photographer" !

cAN u hear Me???????

Im not a taking person ok.. im a gifin person too.. heres the gift i prepared. Is the spongy thing veri ugly. I tried my best le.. bt the sponge is reli too hard to cut the shape out nicely..

Lets see it in an artisitc way huh.. stop criticizing n be appreciative! :)

My new pets

2006-02-11T07:19:00.000-08:00

Im proud to present, my new helmet! customed made! finally someone willing to buy me a fitting a new helmet that is S size. for the past 10 months had been using L n M size ones! bery the lose.. everytime at high way, u cant see my eyes coz ITs covered! Duh!

Dun tink buy me helmet no nid sell bike hor! ... its still dangerous la. i prefer train n buzS. hAI.. hope i can haf a little lamb of my own soon.. haha..i wil be a reponsible n good driver, dis i promise u ~ :)

Nice ? i noe its common la.. bt is nice rite? wanted adidas sticker.. bought bt dunno where to stick.. cOZ SIMple is nice!

Hmm.. its kinda blur coz i cant bear to peel off the plastic on the camera of the fone. Bt its peel so upcomin fotos guarranteed quality!

WenT GET Stuff wif Kenneth n lynette todae.. wow.. orchard is filled wif love coz valentine is round the corner.. see girls carryin flowers n cute n shy guys queuing up to pay a little teddy pig. Gonna be for tues huh! haa.

and our ken went to women secrets to shop for Bra n a lacy panties.. *wee wee*
nice dinner wif the two pals.. each paid 12.50 for a filling dinner! ShIok, sting ray ($12), dou fu, hokkien mee, BBQ sotong & carrot cake not to miss out the gulp of sugar cane! ALL MY favourite! so nice chilling wif them lurve them muchi! thanks for standing by me for the past 4 years. Towards ken, i feel a special bond that its not easy to put into words bt..THANKS!

SAW dis special v dae ballon.. nice!

(bt not reli huh in pic) theres another heart shape formed by balloon n inside are little mani heart shape balloons too.. damn nice.. $39.90! will be great to hang it as a decoration in rm.

Saw many pretty tingzzzz todae.. But no money!! i wan money! hee.. stupid fone coz mi 200 plus.

N hor i dreamt of my darling yesterday , i found it a changi airport on the merz car. Before setting off for my Hong kONG trip with Xiao bai.. i still miss u .. *sob*

Tokin abt xiao bai, y did god make mi dreamt of him? hmm.. mus haf a reason behind.. gonna retrieve his number n chat le..

K la.. tats all for the daz. tmr is e BIG EVENT FOR the yr.. hahaa.. our KEnneth's 21 bdae.. gUESS WHO will walk away wif the best dress tmr ? hehe..

daMn pickpocketer!

2006-02-07T21:39:00.000-08:00

U landed mi in deep trouble now!

i jus renewed my plan last august n i cant get a new 7610 again! while starhub is offering at 100 bucks lower den m1!
Even if starhub pity mi n issue mi a $100 voucher , i still nid to pay at retail price of $635!

My mum do haf a singtel plan but sINGTEL doesnt sell 7610 oradi!!!! how now u tell me ???

M1.. I hafin cold war wif my dad now, u cant possibly ask mi to beg him rite? moreover i tink his plan was renewed recently too...

U are such a disgrace to the society!!! & u r gifin mi a lot of unwanted unhapiness.

Now the only choice is to take up nokia 6111. But the memory is miserably small ... n i wonder if it is as good as 7610 my beloved...

arh!... damn irritated now.. can someone save me!

The third one has came

2006-02-06T23:43:00.000-08:00

The third one has came. Tis time was in orchard. Crowded area, the cramp was so bad that i can neither sit still nor walk. I faced my fear again.

My mind was empty.. I just keep chanting that i will endure thru without fainting.

gLad that u were by my side todae, I was scared, indeed. In extreme pain , strengthless.

Couldnt eat the bowl of noodles, no matter how i insisted. less than two mouthful, i gave up.

When the cramp started from the back of my head i knew its attacking. Held on tight to the hand beside me.I dont wana be alone. Seeing me enduring hopelessly , he went to get ani available medication tat can helped me. Running here n there jus to take care of me :) He looks more like my kin den anione else..

When i was lying alone at the foodcourt, i couldnt see clearli,neither could hear well, at the pt of time i realise how noble are mums, giving birth is 3times the pain n 3 times the hours, compared to the 2 hours of pain i experienced. I truly felt the hopeless of the disabled or the patients fighting wif their illness. The fear, the lonliness & the pain is wad others can never understand.

Without fone is being so insecure. sO heLPless when u r all alone.. Guess its time to forget abt the money issue, coz safety is more impt aftall..

moreover doc says that theres no medication that they can gif to stop the faint, do i reli haf to face it thru my entire life?

Thank u so much for the suprise n the card n most importantly thanks being there with me thru the pain. gUESS nothing can express my gratitude. Nothin to gif in return but a SINCERE, THANK YOU.

*The wallpaper of the fone is my angelic pic.. *

Quote of the day : Do onto others, which u would wan others to do onto u.

4th Feb..

2006-02-05T23:13:00.000-08:00

*VisiTing kenneth's house*

*Huat ah!*

Other karkees are as follow :

*me n boon* lurve dis pic.. haha..

The rest are the lovely couples la.. *shivers*

*yan & weijie*

*ling ling n henry*

*me n the vain pot! haha*

*the jc old frenzzz*

Next Was My HOUSE..
... decided to lose my winnings back to them .. n i indeed i pay them back DOuble of wad i won earlier on. bt ok la.. new yr.. shld spread the wealth around huh.. pls bless mi wif a better yr ahead.. dun suay animore..

*at my house*

******************************

Next i toOk a cab down to Mount faber safra for my hao jie mei's bdae!

u noe somethin, cabby uncle so nice, lend mi fone to call.. nt scared i jump off the cab wif his fone.. hahaha..

dECO NICe boh? is we the jie mei do wan okay?

den i pulled the few of them into the office to conduct the crazy plan of mine.. hee.. tat is to put the citigems box of necklace into the normal balloon.. Alhtough mani shop tenders say it was impossible...

when we were busy tinkin ...
the couple was enjoyin themselves..

my crazzY idea wif KAizhong's determination.... aft twice failure..

finally we DID it! Miracli... almost gotten condom to put it in.. can save up the money.. heard it isnt cheap huh rite? guys :)

hiak Hiak hiak, we r preparing to sarboH her... (Joannas in ACtiON!)

Her first reaction was to hide behind her frens.. aft much persuation den she held it.. haha.. look at tat xpression machiam bomb.. even if it is.. is a bomb coztin $250! my dear fren..

I should say is the best 21st bdae i attended so far.. the cut cake atmosphere was reli high.. n when those big flakes were released fm the top.. it was ma chiam cny celebration in the studio tt we normali c on tv.. bet she enjoyed herself damn much too.. :) esp wif those gifts.. gosh.. tink the entire boot of the cab wil be full jus to bring the gifts home :)

well i had a pleasant suprise too.. thanks for ur surprise coming, hope u enjoyed urself too.. & bet tis is the first success surprise!HAA.

lAStly she was asked to finish up the entire juG!

*my beloveds!*

well its nice coz glad to c her family attending her bdae wif a smile.. guess such 21st bdae, can never be mine.. *smilesz*

Hope my cny blogging dint fail u guys, as i promised i will bring in more pple into my blog ya.. gonna go study is late now..

CNY 2006

2006-02-05T22:22:00.000-08:00

FinaLi everythin ended, left one bdae outing den.. its MOCK exams... sian ~ nightmare.

heres picz during visiting...

dae 2 was sian. aft aunt place went lim kopi at starbuckz ,novena end up takin picz wif its fountain.

Hafin cheese caKe n HOT cOFFee.. wonderful~

aft a few slips reli feel like puking.. ...

TaTs my lengenary mother..

Day 3: a dae visitin TeACHers..

me n my favourite CLA teacher who dint gave mi up, thruout my entire JC course.

*me n kenneth*

went to my god daddy house aka ex sec sch teacher :

*Me n wang hui*

*The aunties in action*

left: she's ready to fly

right: finalI back to her beloved parents, aft been passed ard haha..

DePRIvED OF kissing... M-uACkZZ!

*blog the rest another dae... tis blogger system is making me mad! **...

i lost my fone, i lost it ALL

2006-02-02T14:24:00.000-08:00

Went NUH for appointment. Hands full, left my fone in others back pocket. (precaution taken)

After appointment, its lost!

Called line dint die off. aft 5-6 calls finali its off!

Hope is gone & i prepare to mourn.

Its the third time.. Tats my fate. TWICE were stolen! Truly believed tis time is a pick pocket. I changed to a long strap onli in the morning yest.. n tat stripped could haf been an aid for the pickpocketer.

I lost it.. the best fone i ever had, which had mani picz n contacts tt i can never retrieve again. Its bluetooth function n the pixels were excellent tool for blogging ,its gone now.

Who can i blame?

Expected to get a major SCOLDING.. & true enough i got it!

before i came home i told myself UPTEEN TIMES, i mus control. But i still lost control within 2 sentence shot at mi.

Dad said : " u lost ur fone again ? (wif tat roaring voice n tat look.)

Me : i explained to him wad happened

Dad :" u have no IQ AH ? No brain ah? stupid ah? or wad? y lost again?" how mani times le? y so careless, wad r u doing?

Although i always put my nick as "ben nu ren" but i never expect my kin to see me as dis too. Its piercing pain.. Studied till uni for wad? duMB aftall huh.

Next moment my throat is choked,all the "wei qu" rising from my heart to my eyes..

I couldnt help it but i Reubutted ( second time in my life)
"what did i do wrong? u tell me ? i m afraid it may drop i left it in pocket, what else u wan mi to do ?"

my dad never allows us to speak up till 21 .. so had swallowed all unhappiness for the past yrs.

By the time i rebutted, the bowl of dinner infront was wet.

& he jus cant stop yakking n picking fault. Den suspect my fren. next blame my mum nt visiting the doc wif mi.

The best is he dint even noe i fainted n had been visitin NUH upteen times. NOthin but scold

since young, other den my first pager n weekly allowance somethimes none. ANI lost of fone or upgrading is always paid on my own. I earn i pay n i use. SO y shld i get scolded by him when i haf never get a cent from him?

i lost my fone, somethin is such a treasure n a loyal fren to me. Who wakes mi up without fail every morning. somethin i used to contact fren when i nid someone to hear me cry. I lost it all! can he feel the pain in terms of monetary n emotion tat is stiring within me den in him?

He says 21 i can haf my views, 21 im independent. But 21, i dun even get respect for letting mi finishin the talking.. dun even respect mi as a human! a daughter. Onli noes how to say damn ulgy n hurtful tings dat make mi feel worthless, so wads 21? Forget abt bdae celebration.. everything isnt impt animore

I tot he changed, he dint. 20 over years.. its back to square one. He is forcing mi turning back to the old ME.. which i haf moved out of the shadow. Now im goin back to it.

My life is empty, without a family who can talk n listen, without one tt i can reli confide n get security. Everythin comes n go out of my life. So wads my life?

For the two person who stole my fone, im wordless all i can say SINGAPOREANS are such a disappointment. U never noe ur action has caused so much PAIN in me!

Leave me alone.. i wana be alone..

*oranchee memories*

contented is happiness

contented is happiness

a month older again

my sky is greying.. who can stop that for me ?

planning the next move

im feeling wads life..

workie workie..

end of Joanna's swim life..

... good day!

nice song!

still alive

GET HIGH!

Check out my Slide Show!

its such a sweet day

shoo shoo!!!

mocks are now history!

u ever noe how much a hug can do?

raining dayz= emotional dayz

had been 4 dayz

failed again

heart froze with e weather..

nude-indulgence - established

hey is 2007 everyone!

dreams do reflect one's internal fears

cruel december

in e air of missing..

got my old flame replaced!

lappie is hospitalized

stop whinning, relax people!

penny of thoughts

sharing session

learn to love myself more..

losing confidence

new japanese perm

hot stuffs!

vintage 21st birthday @ cafe le caire

arghhh..

moore photos

recharged!

a syringe of motivation !

TiMe ..waiT foR me ! ...

Sa - Tur - Day

STop comparing , bACK off !

Adidas singlet , new pet of mine!

Its sundae ...

relationship test..

turning evil, curb me.

Life is so Ironic

me

Present for the yr is no presENT!

apriL fool ..

SnaKee life

Let hair down day!

SunnY DAe..

hey hey~ im healed!

Dropped to the bottom of the well ..

Dropped to the bottom of the well ..

Dropped to the bottom of the well ..

a pin pierced into me

Chilli padi me!

Memories ..

valentines day

My new pets

daMn pickpocketer!

The third one has came

4th Feb..

CNY 2006

i lost my fone, i lost it ALL

oranchee memories