Saturday, February 25, 2006; Chilli padi me!
boring n frustrating!
Im not in control of my body & brain. My body doesnt rest when others r oreadi in deep sweet dreamz, I wake when others aradi spent half their daytime. Cant study during late nite. Eazily irritated, fiery fiery me. So pple wana provoke me.. Move away!
worried for exams bt yet mind doesnt co-operate. *shrungs*
I wan a rOom of my own.. hate the feelin of sharing wif my bro. No privacy. Esp when parents squeeze in to tok. NoizY! Diff timings to study make mi unable to slp earli. I wan a rm of my own. I wan to feel homely , i wan a place for mi to look fwd to rest in aft a long day out.
Hmm.. FONE FONE FONE.! FReakin fone makin mi pissed. I wan get another fone bt nid 2 singtel plan to get a gd buy. Gonna sell tis fone its value is falling tremendousli n its veri diff for mi to load picz fm tis fone to blog.. tats y i dun blog often.. ARhh.. pple who wana noe more abt Jo's life.. kindly gimme ur upgrade plans can ? I will be veri thankful! haha.
Not much pic.. jus tis.. ME & CBR bike ?

cool ? i tink i gt the biker "seh" bt too dangerous. cars are beta choice for me.
Went for fortune telling along china town last wk. He is damn accurate told mi abt my illness, my kidney n heart too weak to pump the blood ard the body. No more vigorous sport for me! does it mean ? JOanna aint no SUNSHINE animore ? sigh.. hope tis wil nt affect my swim prospects in future.
He says since i dint get married @19 it wil be 28! goSH by den.. who wil wan a shag aunty , full of wrinkles n freckles? haha.. somethin im glad to noe is he say , my future wil be beta than when im young :) god's fair if tat happens. Guys go gif it a try? heard his prediction on r/s n health is uncanny accurate! opens onli 7- 10pm!heard Dick lee went too.
arH.... I Wan.. a house wif a rOOm of my own n walk in wardrobe n a Roof garden for mi to haf deep tots at nite!~~~~ will tis little dream of mine come true ? Jus like Tai Ling fm LOVERS IN PARIS. finished the show n only word i can say is "fabulous" ! but i dun quite get the ending, guys aft watchin explain to me if u all get it ya ?
gonNa study..
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
11:57 PM
Saturday, February 18, 2006; Memories ..
Strangers, acquaintances,
And later friends
As people enter your life,
making a difference.
In presence, then memories
Now here, now gone
With each passing night
And days that dawn.
One for a need, another for a season,
Yet another for a lifetime.
Each for a purpose,
Come in your life for sometime.
The need met, the purpose over,
It is time for them to leave.
Whether you like or not,
Or unto them you cleave.
Some day, you have to let go,
If not today or tomorrow, then the day after.
Why cry and wail, when it is time
Make the moment sweet with smiles and laughter.
As you part and say goodbye,
Treasure the memory you have to carry.
For, that is what you will live with now,
Memorable moments of a time temporary.
Written by Ritesh Nair
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
10:00 PM
Thursday, February 16, 2006; valentines day
How did u spend your v day my dear friends? Hmm.. with your dearli sweetie or wif a bunch of great pals or spent like with your books n computer game?
Whatever it is, its jus a normal day after all rite? When one gets older, u wil find every day is jus another day. That was how i felt for my chinese new year :) I guess it wil be great to go overseas for a short tour to recharge.
Well my v day was nothin veri special but jus a day i nid to go back for noon lect. N my kz haf both noon n nite make up class till 9pm so .. we met for a lunch. N guess wad? is a low coz one.. i ate nice nasi brani at holland V! n his was "she cai fan" oso often know as "chap cai peng". He loves tt as he n Brad wans to be entreprenuer in dis line. hahaha..
went dinner wif kEn n clique at BREEKS.. we were the clowns there i bet! wif all our videoing n picture takin wif flashes. Guess the couples who wanted some romantic atmosphere mus haf cursed us! wuhahhaa..
but we had videos so too big to be sent.. next time get le den upload to share.
My v-day gifts!

from Qiu Hui... she made the choc by herself ok! tHAnkz

from KenneTH.. THANKzz part timer.

a necklace that i eyed on a couple of months ago n a never wither flower!
unexpensive gifts tt makes mi treasure. Thanks! guys should learn fm tis guy, he is good. Real flowers cost up to 70 sing dollars while he onli spend $4.90 on tis flower for me!!!! shld i smile or cry ? haha.. Well im contented.. very.
as we were strolling at chijmes lookin at the expensive dinner n romantic dinner couples are enjoyin . I found a spot behind the chapel tt we could sit n enjoy the music n dim light like others @ ZERO COST! HAaa..
Below are some taken by our claimed "artistic photographer" !



cAN u hear Me???????
Im not a taking person ok.. im a gifin person too.. heres the gift i prepared. Is the spongy thing veri ugly. I tried my best le.. bt the sponge is reli too hard to cut the shape out nicely..

Lets see it in an artisitc way huh.. stop criticizing n be appreciative! :)
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
11:40 PM
Saturday, February 11, 2006; My new pets
Im proud to present, my new helmet! customed made! finally someone willing to buy me a fitting a new helmet that is S size. for the past 10 months had been using L n M size ones! bery the lose.. everytime at high way, u cant see my eyes coz ITs covered! Duh!
Dun tink buy me helmet no nid sell bike hor! ... its still dangerous la. i prefer train n buzS. hAI.. hope i can haf a little lamb of my own soon.. haha..i wil be a reponsible n good driver, dis i promise u ~ :)


Nice ? i noe its common la.. bt is nice rite? wanted adidas sticker.. bought bt dunno where to stick.. cOZ SIMple is nice!
Hmm.. its kinda blur coz i cant bear to peel off the plastic on the camera of the fone. Bt its peel so upcomin fotos guarranteed quality!
WenT GET Stuff wif Kenneth n lynette todae.. wow.. orchard is filled wif love coz valentine is round the corner.. see girls carryin flowers n cute n shy guys queuing up to pay a little teddy pig. Gonna be for tues huh! haa.
and our ken went to women secrets to shop for Bra n a lacy panties.. *wee wee*
nice dinner wif the two pals.. each paid 12.50 for a filling dinner! ShIok, sting ray ($12), dou fu, hokkien mee, BBQ sotong & carrot cake not to miss out the gulp of sugar cane! ALL MY favourite! so nice chilling wif them lurve them muchi! thanks for standing by me for the past 4 years. Towards ken, i feel a special bond that its not easy to put into words bt..THANKS!
SAW dis special v dae ballon.. nice!

(bt not reli huh in pic) theres another heart shape formed by balloon n inside are little mani heart shape balloons too.. damn nice.. $39.90! will be great to hang it as a decoration in rm.
Saw many pretty tingzzzz todae.. But no money!! i wan money! hee.. stupid fone coz mi 200 plus.
N hor i dreamt of my darling yesterday , i found it a changi airport on the merz car. Before setting off for my Hong kONG trip with Xiao bai.. i still miss u .. *sob*
Tokin abt xiao bai, y did god make mi dreamt of him? hmm.. mus haf a reason behind.. gonna retrieve his number n chat le..
K la.. tats all for the daz. tmr is e BIG EVENT FOR the yr.. hahaa.. our KEnneth's 21 bdae.. gUESS WHO will walk away wif the best dress tmr ? hehe..
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
7:19 AM
Tuesday, February 07, 2006; daMn pickpocketer!
U landed mi in deep trouble now!
i jus renewed my plan last august n i cant get a new 7610 again! while starhub is offering at 100 bucks lower den m1!
Even if starhub pity mi n issue mi a $100 voucher , i still nid to pay at retail price of $635!
My mum do haf a singtel plan but sINGTEL doesnt sell 7610 oradi!!!! how now u tell me ???
M1.. I hafin cold war wif my dad now, u cant possibly ask mi to beg him rite? moreover i tink his plan was renewed recently too...
U are such a disgrace to the society!!! & u r gifin mi a lot of unwanted unhapiness.
Now the only choice is to take up nokia 6111. But the memory is miserably small ... n i wonder if it is as good as 7610 my beloved...
arh!... damn irritated now.. can someone save me!
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
9:39 PM
Monday, February 06, 2006; The third one has came
The third one has came. Tis time was in orchard. Crowded area, the cramp was so bad that i can neither sit still nor walk. I faced my fear again.
My mind was empty.. I just keep chanting that i will endure thru without fainting.
gLad that u were by my side todae, I was scared, indeed. In extreme pain , strengthless.
Couldnt eat the bowl of noodles, no matter how i insisted. less than two mouthful, i gave up.
When the cramp started from the back of my head i knew its attacking. Held on tight to the hand beside me.I dont wana be alone. Seeing me enduring hopelessly , he went to get ani available medication tat can helped me. Running here n there jus to take care of me :) He looks more like my kin den anione else..
When i was lying alone at the foodcourt, i couldnt see clearli,neither could hear well, at the pt of time i realise how noble are mums, giving birth is 3times the pain n 3 times the hours, compared to the 2 hours of pain i experienced. I truly felt the hopeless of the disabled or the patients fighting wif their illness. The fear, the lonliness & the pain is wad others can never understand.
Without fone is being so insecure. sO heLPless when u r all alone.. Guess its time to forget abt the money issue, coz safety is more impt aftall..
moreover doc says that theres no medication that they can gif to stop the faint, do i reli haf to face it thru my entire life?
Thank u so much for the suprise n the card n most importantly thanks being there with me thru the pain. gUESS nothing can express my gratitude. Nothin to gif in return but a SINCERE, THANK YOU.

*The wallpaper of the fone is my angelic pic.. *
Quote of the day : Do onto others, which u would wan others to do onto u.
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
11:43 PM
Sunday, February 05, 2006; 4th Feb..
*VisiTing kenneth's house*

*Huat ah!*
Other karkees are as follow :

*me n boon* lurve dis pic.. haha..
The rest are the lovely couples la.. *shivers*

*yan & weijie*

*ling ling n henry*

*me n the vain pot! haha*

*the jc old frenzzz*
Next Was My HOUSE..
... decided to lose my winnings back to them .. n i indeed i pay them back DOuble of wad i won earlier on. bt ok la.. new yr.. shld spread the wealth around huh.. pls bless mi wif a better yr ahead.. dun suay animore..

*at my house*
******************************
Next i toOk a cab down to Mount faber safra for my hao jie mei's bdae!
u noe somethin, cabby uncle so nice, lend mi fone to call.. nt scared i jump off the cab wif his fone.. hahaha..

dECO NICe boh? is we the jie mei do wan okay?
den i pulled the few of them into the office to conduct the crazy plan of mine.. hee.. tat is to put the citigems box of necklace into the normal balloon.. Alhtough mani shop tenders say it was impossible...
when we were busy tinkin ...
the couple was enjoyin themselves..

my crazzY idea wif KAizhong's determination.... aft twice failure..

finally we DID it! Miracli... almost gotten condom to put it in.. can save up the money.. heard it isnt cheap huh rite? guys :)

hiak Hiak hiak, we r preparing to sarboH her... (Joannas in ACtiON!)

Her first reaction was to hide behind her frens.. aft much persuation den she held it.. haha.. look at tat xpression machiam bomb.. even if it is.. is a bomb coztin $250! my dear fren..

I should say is the best 21st bdae i attended so far.. the cut cake atmosphere was reli high.. n when those big flakes were released fm the top.. it was ma chiam cny celebration in the studio tt we normali c on tv.. bet she enjoyed herself damn much too.. :) esp wif those gifts.. gosh.. tink the entire boot of the cab wil be full jus to bring the gifts home :)
well i had a pleasant suprise too.. thanks for ur surprise coming, hope u enjoyed urself too.. & bet tis is the first success surprise!HAA.

lAStly she was asked to finish up the entire juG!

*my beloveds!*
well its nice coz glad to c her family attending her bdae wif a smile.. guess such 21st bdae, can never be mine.. *smilesz*
Hope my cny blogging dint fail u guys, as i promised i will bring in more pple into my blog ya.. gonna go study is late now..
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
11:13 PM
FinaLi everythin ended, left one bdae outing den.. its MOCK exams... sian ~ nightmare.
heres picz during visiting...
dae 2 was sian. aft aunt place went lim kopi at starbuckz ,novena end up takin picz wif its fountain.

Hafin cheese caKe n HOT cOFFee.. wonderful~


aft a few slips reli feel like puking.. ...

TaTs my lengenary mother..
Day 3: a dae visitin TeACHers..


me n my favourite CLA teacher who dint gave mi up, thruout my entire JC course.

*me n kenneth*
went to my god daddy house aka ex sec sch teacher :

*Me n wang hui*

*The aunties in action*


left: she's ready to fly
right: finalI back to her beloved parents, aft been passed ard haha..

DePRIvED OF kissing... M-uACkZZ!
*blog the rest another dae... tis blogger system is making me mad! **...
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
10:22 PM
Thursday, February 02, 2006; i lost my fone, i lost it ALL
Went NUH for appointment. Hands full, left my fone in others back pocket. (precaution taken)
After appointment, its lost!
Called line dint die off. aft 5-6 calls finali its off!
Hope is gone & i prepare to mourn.
Its the third time.. Tats my fate. TWICE were stolen! Truly believed tis time is a pick pocket. I changed to a long strap onli in the morning yest.. n tat stripped could haf been an aid for the pickpocketer.
I lost it.. the best fone i ever had, which had mani picz n contacts tt i can never retrieve again. Its bluetooth function n the pixels were excellent tool for blogging ,its gone now.
Who can i blame?
Expected to get a major SCOLDING.. & true enough i got it!
before i came home i told myself UPTEEN TIMES, i mus control. But i still lost control within 2 sentence shot at mi.
Dad said : " u lost ur fone again ? (wif tat roaring voice n tat look.)
Me : i explained to him wad happened
Dad :" u have no IQ AH ? No brain ah? stupid ah? or wad? y lost again?" how mani times le? y so careless, wad r u doing?
Although i always put my nick as "ben nu ren" but i never expect my kin to see me as dis too. Its piercing pain.. Studied till uni for wad? duMB aftall huh.
Next moment my throat is choked,all the "wei qu" rising from my heart to my eyes..
I couldnt help it but i Reubutted ( second time in my life)
"what did i do wrong? u tell me ? i m afraid it may drop i left it in pocket, what else u wan mi to do ?"
my dad never allows us to speak up till 21 .. so had swallowed all unhappiness for the past yrs.
By the time i rebutted, the bowl of dinner infront was wet.
& he jus cant stop yakking n picking fault. Den suspect my fren. next blame my mum nt visiting the doc wif mi.
The best is he dint even noe i fainted n had been visitin NUH upteen times. NOthin but scold
since young, other den my first pager n weekly allowance somethimes none. ANI lost of fone or upgrading is always paid on my own. I earn i pay n i use. SO y shld i get scolded by him when i haf never get a cent from him?
i lost my fone, somethin is such a treasure n a loyal fren to me. Who wakes mi up without fail every morning. somethin i used to contact fren when i nid someone to hear me cry. I lost it all! can he feel the pain in terms of monetary n emotion tat is stiring within me den in him?
He says 21 i can haf my views, 21 im independent. But 21, i dun even get respect for letting mi finishin the talking.. dun even respect mi as a human! a daughter. Onli noes how to say damn ulgy n hurtful tings dat make mi feel worthless, so wads 21? Forget abt bdae celebration.. everything isnt impt animore
I tot he changed, he dint. 20 over years.. its back to square one. He is forcing mi turning back to the old ME.. which i haf moved out of the shadow. Now im goin back to it.
My life is empty, without a family who can talk n listen, without one tt i can reli confide n get security. Everythin comes n go out of my life. So wads my life?
For the two person who stole my fone, im wordless all i can say SINGAPOREANS are such a disappointment. U never noe ur action has caused so much PAIN in me!
Leave me alone.. i wana be alone..
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
2:24 PM