Monday, March 27, 2006; SnaKee life
Im gliding & slackin all over e place!.. i nid some moral booster! Mr Seet gave me one 3hr of nagging todae.. kk im moving.. iM finishin wif da chang jin.. tis stupid show make me slp less than 15 hrs in 3 dayz! so as u can imagine, im gonna be in e zoo soon.
Had pretty bad toothache n gastric last wk.. its wisdom tooth! damn.. 300 buckz again! still deciding whether to pluck or shld i say, i m GUTLESS!heard all the scary experiences of some getting their teeth drill, smashed , digging down the gums! gosh.. my gums r fragile, stil rem , e dentist clean teeth n ended up my mouth full of blood. Can fight with my menses hahaha!
Aniwae shld i pluck ?
heh ! i found a new place to studee on sats! cool n quiet n comforting! kaoz! bagus! tats SIM hq! library.. though im nt a member of the skool bt im fm SIM too! its small bt cozy haf mini cafe n bizness centre(thumbs up! ) indeed its a well known commercialize skool.. poor payers (me!)
piczz piczz piczz! forgive the shag look of us. Who bothers when u r there to studee rite? *winks*

Readin on campus superstar while waiting ..
On the library crouch :

easily reached com stationz fm e seat..

.... still reading.....

....... readin magazinEz isnt saturday meant to be so ? Im still reading on the samE MAgazzzZINE!!!
end up.. we read magazines n spend rest of time dozing off.. too comforting.. even for me who seldom slp other place other den my bed.*smilez*
headed to visit the new renovated CATHAY movie complex at doBY ghaut.


at the ticket booth.. e posters behind changes!

Kachang puteh stall!

Is ex! $3.20 for 2! guess i can buy 2 big packets fm ntuc..
well wasnt very impress by the new buiding lei, bt there haf a variety of finger food. cakezz and mani others are sold there too..! bt.. down to MONEY money money..
a month ago had Qh celebration, sad to say jus gotten e picz a couple of daz ago.

i prefer my back view.. beta than front

its Us lol.. (center white, is girl of the daz..)

I cry and I weep... Because of you...
1:59 PM
Tuesday, March 21, 2006;
will u vote for someone u like or someone who is capable ? In short will u vote blindly?
Kinda contradicting huh.. if its ur fren, u cant possibly nt support ya.Aniway, I will stick to my slogan " Everything happens for a reason". Brace up, rearrange the jadded stone infront & step &moveover fast. (By a famous philospher, Joanna Boh) haha.
Miss one figure on stage, Yuyang.. miss his mesmerizing eyes & outlook..can i find an older clone :) Adraino is out too todae.. hoi can dun watch campus superstar le la.. haha.. Renfred indeed haf a strong fan base man.. sigh.
chionging "Da Chang Jin" dese dayz. But at the sloweset speed ever.wonder y so many pple ard me haf tis serial haa.. aniwae, benefits me. *grinz*
Facing dillema these daz on whether to continue helpin my kid tuition during my exam period or to leave him in lurch. I cant bear to do it bt doubt i can afford e time. Haf full day revison classes if i were to go over twice a wk every wkday. Guess my papers are gonna "chui". None of my frenz ard can replace me for tis one month ? Responsibility or Studies? sigh..
I trained n commited so much on him, until there are drastic improvements. 98 for maths & 82 for chinese. I cant bear to let my efforts go down the drain.. wad should i do ? *sighz*
and macro makes my hair falls more! Help!
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
12:43 AM
Saturday, March 18, 2006; Let hair down day!
Hey noe wad? I had an enjoyable day, it will be complete if my taped the entire Da chang Jing for me.. arh..! only tape 15 mins.. gonna hamtam her tmr morning! anione haf the vcd lend me la.. i pay u 20 buckz! negotiable.. interested tag ! tag me! haa.
Oh ya.. intially was in high spirits but flame was seized by a long near to hour wait at the carpark. Sigh~
Aniwae.. went to open the campus account! got my first cheque book in life!! cool.. i owe who money come come i issue cheque. Guess the mini debit wil come soon. hoho.. gonna open as mani account as possible to save for a holiday trip to maybe hk or paris! Lovely~~ find a lover in paris.. haha..

See.. Blueblack again when i wake up! & someone "sor" blueblack for me in the KFC lol.. SCreamz! pain!!!

Den headed to Jurong for ice skate gosh! my first skating experience in 21 years of life!

@Mount Fuji!

Queing for Tix.. gt student rate.. heng.

YiPee.. lEtZ gO!

So MaNI pple!!
wadz my mama doin man?? a little girl age ard4 was skating lol! im so xia suay bt heng nv fall.. damn wet la.. let the picz do the toking..

Chek it out my shoe size!!

ReaDy to go !


Tis one is a beta pix other than the other.. other than theres an extra person who walks past.

Hop on! lets rush off for our movie.


Do i Look like a little kid wif a big helmet?
dECided on "Date movie" well.. a very short shall tink an hour onli lol! Bt veri funny n messy plot, bt made KZ laugh till he fell out of his seat.. ahhaha.. Bt ex to watch on weekend considering its so short.
Ever seen a guy wif 8 nipples? ... go watch!
Bt not bad la.. can gif it a shot guys. Bt i wana go for big momma.. m i rite wif the title ? hmm..

THen was a competition....

Guess who won ?

Clearly shown! Coz i climbed the highest ho ho.. i can go further bt.. gia gia ei ki bae lor.. haha..
Nice place.. tink next time when im down, i will climb all the way up n cry & share my woes wif the stars. Up there, u will feel u r so much closer to the starzzZ..
WANA noe where isit rite? its a veri nice park bt not Pasir Ris.. bt sumwhere near my house.. :P a place full of memories, as my mum used to hold my hand under the sorching sun, sending me for piano classes.. Mummy is so good. Hugz.. Now i regret, how i wish i can continue learning now, hu wil wan to take up an aunty for class. sigh~

Theres toot toot train too! Manage to catch a couple vibrating the train earlier on.. Hoi hoi hoi.. ur imagination goin wild rite? tink i dunno.. aRH ?

Nope.. not some ghostly ting la.. Its artistic isnt it? ... the blurness covers the imperfect areas, great!
aiyo.. how can possibly haf no self shots neh ? haa..

TO end, a big Kiss!!
M-U-A-C-K-Z!

WHOs the ganster beside me ?*nice scar!*
siao le la, gonna eat salted vegetables wif tapioca porridge fm tmr le.. BrOKE.. bt well worth it, GREAT DAY! "yi pee ya ya yi pee yi pee ya!"..
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
2:55 AM
Thursday, March 16, 2006; SunnY DAe..
Its a sunny dae & i hate it!
Dilemma should i study or play. Coz u see its first dae aft mock papers.. bt.. dint study much of macro n attend the exam. so damn guilty. I wana play but all else busy.. sigh..
Meanwhile slack , blog n listen to "CHANCE CHANCE". mESMERized in the shadow of Yu yang a contestant of campus superstar. My ideal husband external package! guess im too old for him huh ? rem intro me if u guys see similar breed ard ! haha..
Hope haf ur day been ? Hope its not a tough dae for u as weekend is jus right at the corner :)
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
2:15 PM
Im healed.. i wanted to tell u all couple dayz ago bt somehow i cant uoload picz gt to so much to share n show.. bt now guess gt to cut short.
BTW, im healed thanks so much guys. Im enlightened by a fren's blog sharing her thailand interacting experience wif the kids in the nursery. Touched n enlightened by her posts. Life are suppose to be innocent, without hatred & grudges. I should learn from that. Contacting wif lifes tat are more vulnerable than U, u will noe wad u r facing are not too bad afterall.
Guess too be the old carefree me, time to go back for some social work services. Only there i can see sincere appreciation & innocent smiles.
bTW, mr V! thanks for introducing me to Mr Tan. He helped me mend for free. Gosh that was so heartwarming. On our first meeting & abruptly called n visited me, he mended for me at zero cozt. Guess its a blessing in disguise...!
By the way , my mum returned me the 300 buckz as my bro dint wanted. Only demanded for a new piece. Well im at my wits, only china does tat kind of trophy cant possibly fly there huh ?
Lets put an end to the down stuffs. Todae was e last paper.. n i dint go . dint studee enough to turn up. Busy searching n sending n collecting the trophy.. arh.. god pls bless tat i will be enlightened a way to understand my MACRO.
Saw tis a wk ago, gonna share wif u guys..

Look carefully its not a normal car plate. It has names.. SUch lovely husband cum daddy isnt it? * grinz*

as it was early before goin to east coast for seafood big treat, we went marine parade shoppin centre & saw BIG Uno stackO! CUTie kidz. wonder if it falls on the head wil they concuss.. haha.

TaKin a pic while my brain decides on one restaurant to dine. So mani.. how to choose ? OH YA Btw is my new cap! haha.. nice ? :P its FOC again!
He is not queuing for free gift bt..

Its JUMBO .. !

Its a orangie land in there! keke..

dun tell me , u tink he is the one who specially arranged hor ? fat hope! haha..

Cereal Prawn!! I tell u guys its veri nice! ate it first in my lifetime.. veri YUMmy! mus go try!

Black Pepper crab!! our ultimate aim! while others eat chilli only the extra JO insits on black pepper hee. if ani of u eat long beach's pepper crab tell mi if its nice coz they claimed that they are THe best .. *shrungs*

say "qi~"
Went to eat TAPAN YAKI! its the last place in spore tat we can eat i tink.. the one at bugis n j8 oradi clozed down. was lookin forward n... turned to be DISAppointing!! arh.. ex summore.. hai.. ani nice tepan yaki to recommend ? The one in J8 was the best i ever eat.. since like food in spore are gettin pretty normal huh. No wonder my weight now drops to 42 kg.. Sigh.. "all i wan for tis yr is FATS!! " Haa..
gud nite my babes n hunkie readerz...
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
1:37 AM
Saturday, March 11, 2006; Dropped to the bottom of the well ..
I dropped & dropped dead deep down til the bottom of the well. Heart shatters wif all the energy i have. Im now nothin left wif a breath.. How i wish somethin could put me to sleep till eternity. I hate the world. Its never ending sufferings. Perhaps my life is suppose to be extreme highs & lows or perhaps its my retribution be it for the past 20 yrs or for my lifes before. If nid be, can i haf it all together. I have no extra energy to withstand ani of that sorts.
I hate myself, hate my life, hate my attitude and hate the jinx in me.
Today, supposed to wake up at 8am to study HRM. My body retaliated. Head was heavy & eyes were droppy. M i reli sick or isit my subconcious mind reli wanted a long sleep, a sleep that can bring me to a world of my own wheres there is only a ME. I hope i can bring someone wif me but i noe i cant. I never love someone as much as i loved myself & my way of life will jus let the other party feel annoyed. Guess i'll never meet the one for life. ... & i took panadol to curb.
Nothing goes in.. mind is EMPTY, heart is EMPTY.. only "crystal plaque" flashes.
No talking. Suddenly i hate myself .. hate to come back to tis home. I wish i can shift to a place of my own , that only has a ME. No interactions, no conflict no nid for any accomodations..SULK, SLEEP ,SCREAM , YELL , CRY.. as i wished*
Jus as i saw a tag by "V" on my blog, i quickly went to hunt for the shop he recommended. Boss not in. Sec time i called finally he spoke to me. I was glad tt he dint reject me flat. I tot i've got HOPE. Jus as i was excited, tryin to reach the plaque in the box, with another hand on the phone. The cover opens. n "piang" . My heart stopped beating for a moment. Right after the call, the bottomed up tears rolled.. I knew my heart can never beat the same animore.
I hate myself.. Y will it drop ? y r u so cruel to break my hope ? .. I haf no answer.. uncontrollably tears flowed during lunch. Grandma & maid look at me wif the ?? look.She taught i was crying due to stress that i used to but Im not although i dint finish studying. I controlled bt it flowed. The moment will be in my 21 years of life history. Never to be erased. There goes my pride n confidence.
Mr tan, my only hope called. He insited its acrylic n wans to help mending. I dunno wad better words can i use to express my greatest gratitude towards him. He said he could wait if i could rush down. Exam or PLaque? dillema.
I wil go down on MONDAY. i took the bus. I gt the urge to ask for confirmation of the exam time. TO my horror its 2pm rather than 2.30. I called Lyn wanting to inform her. To my suprise she reached. I was lost, i ended it in a harsh way. I apologised for that. Rushed down , to flag cab. No cab wans to take me. I couldnt wait animore,i booked. When i finished bookin another cab came. caNcelled tt.
Reached hall when the exam started. MInd was blank.. sqUeezed all i had in me.. left aft 3 hrs.
Went to roam on the streets. A well known shopaholic who shops to cure all unbalanced emotions. Spent, dint cure bt ache even more.
Back home, never i dare to raise my head esp to him. Im such a failure cant even grip somethin well huh. or m i jus damn at luck lost fones 3 times, once recently haben saved up now another gone.. Tis feelin is much worse than losing fone. Im a loser.
jUS as was abt to haf dinner, spoon fell i saved it usually my arm n got scalded. Its pain bt inside one is worse!
Dad came yelling he dint buy our unit number n it opened! ...... I wanted to tell my maid buy it for me. I got an instict a strong one bt due to the plaque i forgot. n it opened! second time! on sat, i bought a number bt dint buy i bet as i normally did. It came out first prize. I could haf won enough to make plague for him..
Searched thru the website... saw similar one bt its in US.. sigh.. dun dare to tell him the other side is out to. Dunno how to make my heart rest. Went down to draw a total of $300 cash. I spoke to him no reply. till now the money is still lying on his bed , untouched .
Wads more is coming, god can u tell me, pls dun kick me down the well everytime i start climbing.. strengthless. lost heart to heart talk frenz, so near yet so far.. no one.. There was a saying for everyone, theres one hug tat can cure all pains & crys...
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
11:10 PM
I dropped & dropped dead deep down til the bottom of the well. Heart shatters wif all the energy i have. Im now nothin left wif a breath.. How i wish somethin could put me to sleep till eternity. I hate the world. Its never ending sufferings. Perhaps my life is suppose to be extreme highs & lows or perhaps its my retribution be it for the past 20 yrs or for my lifes before. If nid be, can i haf it all together. I have no extra energy to withstand ani of that sorts.
I hate myself, hate my life, hate my attitude and hate the jinx in me.
Today, supposed to wake up at 8am to study HRM. My body retaliated. Head was heavy & eyes were droppy. M i reli sick or isit my subconcious mind reli wanted a long sleep, a sleep that can bring me to a world of my own wheres there is only a ME. I hope i can bring someone wif me but i noe i cant. I never love someone as much as i loved myself & my way of life will jus let the other party feel annoyed. Guess i'll never meet the one for life. ... & i took panadol to curb.
Nothing goes in.. mind is EMPTY, heart is EMPTY.. only "crystal plaque" flashes.
No talking. Suddenly i hate myself .. hate to come back to tis home. I wish i can shift to a place of my own , that only has a ME. No interactions, no conflict no nid for any accomodations..SULK, SLEEP ,SCREAM , YELL , CRY.. as i wished*
Jus as i saw a tag by "V" on my blog, i quickly went to hunt for the shop he recommended. Boss not in. Sec time i called finally he spoke to me. I was glad tt he dint reject me flat. I tot i've got HOPE. Jus as i was excited, tryin to reach the plaque in the box, with another hand on the phone. The cover opens. n "piang" . My heart stopped beating for a moment. Right after the call, the bottomed up tears rolled.. I knew my heart can never beat the same animore.
I hate myself.. Y will it drop ? y r u so cruel to break my hope ? .. I haf no answer.. uncontrollably tears flowed during lunch. Grandma & maid look at me wif the ?? look.She taught i was crying due to stress that i used to but Im not although i dint finish studying. I controlled bt it flowed. The moment will be in my 21 years of life history. Never to be erased. There goes my pride n confidence.
Mr tan, my only hope called. He insited its acrylic n wans to help mending. I dunno wad better words can i use to express my greatest gratitude towards him. He said he could wait if i could rush down. Exam or PLaque? dillema.
I wil go down on MONDAY. i took the bus. I gt the urge to ask for confirmation of the exam time. TO my horror its 2pm rather than 2.30. I called Lyn wanting to inform her. To my suprise she reached. I was lost, i ended it in a harsh way. I apologised for that. Rushed down , to flag cab. No cab wans to take me. I couldnt wait animore,i booked. When i finished bookin another cab came. caNcelled tt.
Reached hall when the exam started. MInd was blank.. sqUeezed all i had in me.. left aft 3 hrs.
Went to roam on the streets. A well known shopaholic who shops to cure all unbalanced emotions. Spent, dint cure bt ache even more.
Back home, never i dare to raise my head esp to him. Im such a failure cant even grip somethin well huh. or m i jus damn at luck lost fones 3 times, once recently haben saved up now another gone.. Tis feelin is much worse than losing fone. Im a loser.
jUS as was abt to haf dinner, spoon fell i saved it usually my arm n got scalded. Its pain bt inside one is worse!
Dad came yelling he dint buy our unit number n it opened! ...... I wanted to tell my maid buy it for me. I got an instict a strong one bt due to the plaque i forgot. n it opened! second time! on sat, i bought a number bt dint buy i bet as i normally did. It came out first prize. I could haf won enough to make plague for him..
Searched thru the website... saw similar one bt its in US.. sigh.. dun dare to tell him the other side is out to. Dunno how to make my heart rest. Went down to draw a total of $300 cash. I spoke to him no reply. till now the money is still lying on his bed , untouched .
Wads more is coming, god can u tell me, pls dun kick me down the well everytime i start climbing.. strengthless. lost heart to heart talk frenz, so near yet so far.. no one.. There was a saying for everyone, theres one hug tat can cure all pains & crys...
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
11:10 PM
I dropped & dropped dead deep down til the bottom of the well. Heart shatters wif all the energy i have. Im now nothin left wif a breath.. How i wish somethin could put me to sleep till eternity. I hate the world. Its never ending sufferings. Perhaps my life is suppose to be extreme highs & lows or perhaps its my retribution be it for the past 20 yrs or for my lifes before. If nid be, can i haf it all together. I have no extra energy to withstand ani of that sorts.
I hate myself, hate my life, hate my attitude and hate the jinx in me.
Today, supposed to wake up at 8am to study HRM. My body retaliated. Head was heavy & eyes were droppy. M i reli sick or isit my subconcious mind reli wanted a long sleep, a sleep that can bring me to a world of my own wheres there is only a ME. I hope i can bring someone wif me but i noe i cant. I never love someone as much as i loved myself & my way of life will jus let the other party feel annoyed. Guess i'll never meet the one for life. ... & i took panadol to curb.
Nothing goes in.. mind is EMPTY, heart is EMPTY.. only "crystal plaque" flashes.
No talking. Suddenly i hate myself .. hate to come back to tis home. I wish i can shift to a place of my own , that only has a ME. No interactions, no conflict no nid for any accomodations..SULK, SLEEP ,SCREAM , YELL , CRY.. as i wished*
Jus as i saw a tag by "V" on my blog, i quickly went to hunt for the shop he recommended. Boss not in. Sec time i called finally he spoke to me. I was glad tt he dint reject me flat. I tot i've got HOPE. Jus as i was excited, tryin to reach the plaque in the box, with another hand on the phone. The cover opens. n "piang" . My heart stopped beatiing for a moment. Right after the call, the bottomed up tears rolled.. I knew my heart can never beat the same animore.
I hate myself.. Y will it drop ? y r u so cruel to break my hope ? .. I haf no answer.. uncontrollably tears flowed during lunch. Grandma & maid look at me wif the ?? look. I controlled bt it flowed. The moment will be in my 21 years of life history. Never to be erased. There goes my pride n confidence.
Mr tan, my only hope called. He insited its acrylic n wans to help mending. I dunno wad better words can i use to express my greatest gratitude towards him. He said he could wait if i could rush down. Exam or PLaque? dillema.
I wil go down on MONDAY. i took the bus. I gt the urge to ask for confirmation of the exam time. TO my horror its 2pm rather than 2. I called Lyn wanting to inform her. To my suprise she reached. I was lost, i ended it in a harsh way. I apologised for that. Rushed down , to flag cab. No cab wans to take me. I couldnt wait animore,i booked. When i finished bookin another cab came. caNcelled tt.
Reached hall when the exam started. MInd was blank.. sqUeezed all i had in me.. left aft 3 hrs.
Went to roam on the streets. A well known shopaholic who shops to cure all unbalanced emotions. Spent, dint cure bt ache even more.
Back home, never i dare to raise my head esp to him. Im such a failure cant even grip somethin well huh. or m i jus damn at luck lost fones 3 times, once recently haben saved up now another gone.. Tis feelin is much worse than losing fone. Im a loser.
jUS as was abt to haf dinner, spoon fell i saved it usually my arm n got scalded. Its pain bt inside one is worse!
Dad came yelling he dint buy our unit number n it opened! ...... I wanted to tell my maid buy it for me. I got an instict a strong one bt due to the plaque i forgot. n it opened! second time! on sat, i bought a number bt dint buy i bet as i normally did. It came out first prize. I could haf won enough to make plague for him..
Searched thru the website... saw similar one bt its in US.. sigh.. dun dare to tell him the other side is out to. Dunno how to make my heart rest. Went down to draw a total of $300 cash. I spoke to him no reply. till now the money is still lying on his bed , untouched .
Wads more is coming, god can u tell me, pls dun kick me down the well everytime i start climbing.. strengthless. lost heart to heart talk frenz, so near yet so far.. no one.. There was a saying for everyone, theres one hug tat can cure all pains & crys...
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
11:10 PM
Thursday, March 09, 2006; a pin pierced into me
Haf lots to upload n share.. bt today i nid to blog somethin tat is more impt.
Somethin i can cast all my mock exams n my studies aside. I broke my brother's kumon award plag.. although 2 of us me n my maid is the cause but .. ends up seems like i gonna get things solved. Coz.. reshift the furnitures in the room was my idea. Coz i wanted to create a bigger space for the bof of us.
Sigh..

I apologised , called up all the numbers in the yellow pages n mass sent 5 companies
to plead them to remake one for me as most of them refuse to make a single piece. One will coz me abt $300 n tats even greater den my 1 month tuition fee. before tis was fone, now tis. Im broke.. wonder if i can ever make it for my desired holidae.. always wanted to go .. bt always coz of money issue or others missed e chance. Guess tis time as well..
When the piece of little crystal cut my leg. I saw blood n usualli i will make a hoo ha n stuff bt tis time i tot was a retribution for breaking it. I know its veri important n cherished by him. So by all means i swear i will make him a new one.
He doesnt tok to me nor sit near me. His messenger is now my mum n maid. I forgave his attitudes till a couple of mins ago. I went out to confront him aft hearing him showing attitude to my mum. I xplained to him all i haf done & reminded him to behave like a grow up. His stubborness & selfishness gt to change. No one ever talk through wif him. I hope i did. For past14 years , tis has never happened to us.
My heart is aching, m i doing the right thing? can someone tell me ?
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
12:26 AM