Friday, March 30, 2007;
it was not a very good day for me.
woke up late,
bus broke down,
mind cant stay focus for the day
heart was v heavy
it seem to even outweigh the weight my body could hold
When i was on my way home
不能承受的感動 by sammi :
谁说不能承受生命中的感动
我们拥抱过东京最美丽的梦
你的一只手有多不同
当时我无法形容
放下才明白
爱情有多重
你一路陪着
我每当我也学个够
不够爱我的人再美丽只是个梦
我的一双眼是为什么
想起你总那么红
你能够痛着对我好
难道我能假装不懂
全世界看不起你
难道我就能对不起
你就是爱看你这样子
样子还有什么关系
全世界看不起你
难道我就要骗我自己
爱情不只一场欢喜
以后只是一个回忆
拥抱你我就会舍不得呼吸
谁说不能承受生命中的感动
我们拥抱过东京最美丽的梦
我的一只眼为什么轻轻地想起了你
就变得通红
你能够痛着对我好
难道我能假装不懂
爱情让人不分轻重
不能承受的回亿
就留给东京铁塔保守秘密
instantly stirred up all emotions
within secs ,one which seemed to have conslidated all the pain,emptiness,helplessness & disappointment rolled down the cheek.
unfortunateli i was unable to upload the song
hope some kind souls cld upload it soon.
went to purchase white shoe
a granny served me
Although it was self service
as i dint bear to let her bend down to get the size for me
her smile & her advise on the shoe size
was more than enough for me to offer a service charge even if there were to be one
Is somethin i tink all salesgirl in singapore shld learn
coz u never realise ur unfriendly n stuck up bloody face jus "boils" a customer when they ask for trying or return to u ur pdt as it doesnt fit.
wads the use of studying so much when the fuc**** society is so illmannered & Impolite?
if u cant even be courteous & respect others even those who cant afford ur pdt, noe matter how brainy or how well u fare for ur degree , let me tell u its NOTHING!!!
Happen to pass by a grandpa replying to his grandson who was trying to let his grandpa buy his idea abt somethin. Grandpa caught me listening to them, he smiled to me.. His smile taught me something, Life can be so simple. Although he hasnt study much like e granny they both lead life well, happy taking care of their small shop / grandson. They haf so much attitude in them in life then all those who studys so much..
went for rev classes, it struck my mind, how mani pple in the lecture rm reli noe their stuff? how mani wld Ace the subjs, how would they be doing in their future if they do so.. So being so stupid n forgetful, someone who forgets what she studied the day b4,how far cld i go in future? Wld other despise me, for being not on par wif them? thoughts jus went on & on...
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
6:58 AM
Wednesday, March 28, 2007;
had a hard time getting to sleep recently. 2 days, 6 hours of slp.. Somehow whenever im on bed i haf thousand & one things to ponder on, always worrying about tmr, regret for not doin enough today. Guess i nid to find a remedy to it asap, v soon my concealer cant conceal the dark eye circles animore.
Time flies, esap uol rev has ended. I will rem e good times we spent together guess wld be e last lesson hafin so mani frens in the same class. Nothing to fret about, coz life is abt creating memories n move on..
the 9pm miracle show is coming to an end, v soon my last source of motivation wld be gone.
Love the plot (esp stories on which miracles do happen) I hope i wld haf one too.
5225 is somethin tt i haf been thinking for the past 2 days. Would u accept someone who is 52 , if he is someone who u really love? (girls) Guys, wld u accept a girl who is 25 , while u r 52? So far the girls i asked rejected the idea of it. As for me i tink i may. I wld be interested to listen to ur views on tis.
the damn throat is coming back again.. (freaking me up!)
Realised I have split personality .. In school i love to socialise but aft sch hours, if i happen to see frens around, sometimes i will pretend not to see.. as i jus wana be alone.. But aft 10 every nite i will tend to feel empty n lonely. But i dun wana superficial frens to entertain me or i shld say i wont want to entertain them..
i wonder why..
oh man , what a post!
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
11:17 AM
Tuesday, March 27, 2007;
pics of gathering of the long lost 從從邦 @ marche vivo.. our name n legend of us will be entering the next revised edition of the history book..
i foresee tis will be e onli n last gathering in our remaining uni days. Guess most will be uncontactable in the near future. I may be pessimistic bt im quite sure. Unfortunately , i was unable to urge the other 2 of them to turn up. That will be a regret for me..
hmm.. let pics do the talking.. in the post below.. e damn slider thing is driving me crazy... cant put it into tis post!argh!! wasted over an hour.. aniwae.. to see captions ,click on the pics.
Reeve intro me to tis
http://laozhabor.blogspot.comwho says blogging is the "IN" thing for youngsters onli...
even wj say she blogs better den me.. i tink so too..
所謂活到老,學到老 , i agree :)
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
12:12 AM
Monday, March 26, 2007; Check out my Slide Show!
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
9:29 AM
Sunday, March 25, 2007;
never fails to touch my heart every time..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk8jy5ygNZMhaf prob putting e video here. sorry peeps.
love tis song, if anione nOes where i can get tis song let me knoe. Thx
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
4:38 PM
Thursday, March 22, 2007;
it was suppose to be a good day.. Dreamt of Dolly last nite, she asked abt my preparation for exam, Im so guilty. She is studyin in SMU n she said it was tough.. so happy tt she can continue her uni in heaven. Wonder how does SMU (heaven branch) looks like ? :)
I decided to opt for jc via uni route was actuali i wanted to fulfill her dream on behalf. The path was far too tough tt i tot it was. I sweat, teared, went thru despair n confidence regain stages over n over again till it seem so uncountable to me. But rite now, when i come to think abt it, im glad tt im where im todae. It started off by carrying hopes of hers, den became hopes n desire of my own. Not being able to get into local uni to stay in hostel n enjoy countless hall activities is indeed my regret. Bt i guess Jc pehaps isnt my route aftall. I shld be glad her hopes guided me up till uni, if not i may haf been struggling in the workin society wif a diploma. Although, i dunno how far or how beta wld tis SIM cert of mine bring for me( when i dun even a sec lower rite now) I choose to think tt it shld be better den diploma. Thus, I will strive to clear for a sec lower.
When i lose momentum i will take a look at her to energized myself. Shes an Ace scorer. As her cousin, i hope i will nt be too far fm her standard. If i dun study hope she haunts me at nite.. coz i miss her..
I dreamt of myself seeing the 4d draw results last nite. Since mama was gg down to Q, hee i decided to bet on my dreams. As the no. wasnt clear. I did a ibet. N result is i striked!! winnings: $6 bucks enough to cover cost n maybe can donate away the few bucks.
Its not abt the money bt its e joy n luck when u strike. I hope tis will be the turning point of my luck.
went qing ming todae, grandma haf shifted into a renovated plc in kwang ming shan. Every yr without fail we can nv find her urns.. Its so weird! Few yrs ago it shifted due to renovation we cant find until aft some search n enquiry. Last yr, my aunt kept the blk n # of e urns to herself when she received the letter of notification. Although her r/s wif my dad isnt good, i dun see e nid to hide. Afterall, is jus praying our ancestors isnt it.. *sighs*got a few Dharma Books jus realised there are equalli good compared to the BIbles. I love reading them.
I tot i haf put it down till i see my agitated & nervous reaction when i failed to get my query answered..
exams are drawing nearer when i haf wasted a week. Im oso pretty worried for unexpected things tt may arise within tis crucial period. life is full of endless uncertainty. Thats something even insurance cant insure u of..
Here a part on "dont worry" picked up fm the Dharma bk that i have read :
The secret of happy, successful living is what needs to be done now, and not worry about the past or the future. We cannot reshape the past, nor can we anticipate everything in future. There is but one moment of time over which we have some conscious control and that is the present.
Many people jus worry about the future. They haf to learn to adjust themselves to the circumstances. Whatever castles they may build in the air, whatever dreams they may have they must always remember that they are living in this world of constant friction and change.
"There are no stars which we could trust,
there is no guiding light,
And we know that we must
BE GOOD , BE JUST,BE RIGHT."
Gosh! its a super long post.. Im ending it with somethin interesting..

do i reli look like them ? hmm.. i shall try wif other photos nxt time. Tis foto was like 2 yrs ago :)
ps: pardon me, i dun like to do spell check or check dictionary for words i dunno how to spell coz it breaks my chain of thoughts. So make a guess,if theres a nid for one .. :)
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
2:45 AM
no doubt it was a sweet day. Things were simple, though i was late, jy came to sit beside me, lent me his notes n offer foolscap, so did lynette.
And finali i realise y we nid to study study n study,be educated coz i realise pple who study more, able to handle emotions n anger better.(my assumption) Able to solve conflicts better. Im so proud of those pals of mine. THumbs up!
did hk trip planning.. simple bench, few frens, simple discussion yet happy ..
on my bus trip home, though i was alone.. nv i felt lonely. received unique callers, called gif concern abt how i was doing n i was getting well. Kg smsed fm taiwan to ask wc to take care of me. Silly him, bt i was touched. as for weicai always appear at times im most vulnerable.
Saw a po po climbed up to the upper deck to seek for a seat. I let up my seat even though i stil haf a few stops b4 i were to alight. She smiled to me.. instantly i felt so good..
Simple things, simple smile, simple concern jus made my day. Never i tot simple things can ever bring so much happiness. Maybe simple relationship will bring abt real happiness too.. well, maybe.
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
12:12 AM
Wednesday, March 21, 2007;
sometimes u nv tot that one person is so influential to u, bt u realise when he/she feels down, happy ur heart jus beats exactly the same
& tats the time u start wondering why..
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
3:23 AM
Tuesday, March 20, 2007; shoo shoo!!!
tink my freakin bodi is immunless..
its driving me crazy..
my flu cough n sorethroat hasnt recover now comes swollen eye lids..
the throat its driving me crazee when i slp.. so dry n awful..
i drank 12 cups of water.. still lyk tt lea..
go away u all .. i wana get well! i wana eat my chinese medicine.. haben ate for a wk n my dark eye circles r back!!!
shoo shoo...!!! go away..
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
3:48 PM
Sunday, March 18, 2007; mocks are now history!
screwed up all papers & dint manage to go for the last mock paper of my life. I was wondering e fever was a hindrance or blessing.. blessing coz i haf reason not to mug hard, for a cannot make it paper. ICp seems to need 2 yrs to finish studyin 1 yr syllabus.
time flies.. 3 wks had passed. I wonder how did i manage to do it, but i jus did it.
Body is immunless now, sorethroat,fever,cough &flu, jackpot! oi! y shopping no great effect on me huh? **scratches head
bt i realise im going mad!
i went shopping wearing tube dress that was v loose that safety pins dint work & i actuali liked a dress so i told the girl i will pay and walk off wif it n i did!!! I mus be mad!!
my 戰勵品 of the day:


nice? or im impulsive to buy? argh!!!!!- tell me u love it too !!
v zi lian lea.. i cant stand too!! tats leo i guess..
i Mus move on!!!! 咬緊牙根,用力呼吸!! there are much things ahead awaiting for me.. & as for icp n all the papers, "never say die!!! ai pia zai ae eya (mus pia den will win) haha!!!" thanks qh for the moral booster! love u to bitzzZ!!!
im getting better, better n better!!!!!!!!!
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
1:22 AM
Saturday, March 17, 2007; u ever noe how much a hug can do?
jus came out fm a hot shower!
n mani things zoomed across my mind.
I suddenli wanted to hug someone.. I always see ang mos & some girls in spore often go ard hugging their frens. I always tot they did that, jus for the sake of doing it.
But now i seem to get the entire picture of it. A hug means alot. It is the best tool to make one heart close to another's without anithin obstructing except a layer of clothes n skin. And to let the other noe, they r so impt to u or u reli nid them at the moment. A hug speaks a thousand words.. This moment, i jus wana go round hugging people that i really like.. I love it when the warmth n energy n encouragement passes thru from one to another.
So, dear frens if im upset nxt time, dun bother to console me, let me hug u !!!
fOr pple who cant express ur feelings or wana test if u haf feelings for the other party, maybe hugging may be a good solution to ur prob..
so wad r u waiting for? start hugging ur love ones... :)
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
1:57 AM
Friday, March 09, 2007;
spent my evening spent at ecp yesterdae.. had been quite sometime since i last went. Things that haben seem to change,but things on my side are no longer like before.
love the bedok jetty, love the wind,e sea and of coz e planes.. seeing pple there doing the things they like, leisure fishing. All sadness seemed to have blown off with the gusts of strong wind.
its reli refreshing for pple who feel stressed up or unhappy maybe that place is reli a place to gif urself a break.


nice warm sun!
manage to see e legenary sand castle area

that i saw on tv.. love the castle so nice.. too bad la.. our photographer,mr seah took nice pic of me blinking my eyes!!!!
take one!

take two!

my face looks swollen! bt i love e castle!
tis was somethin new tat we saw at ecp.. there were couple of such.


Looks like scorpion isnt it? wanted to walk to the end of it.. but lucky i dint coz went i tried walkin on the other one, i slipped n fell thank god not into the water. Now hafin a sourvenir of black patches on my knee cap. It was so slippery that i tot i stopped myself fm falling, bt i still couldnt escape fm it. It was embarrassing! bt i dint regret trying. If i nv try i never noe so for those who wana be adventurors, tink twice. esp when u dunno how to swim.
was cycling fm end to end of ecp, everywhere was memories. The lighthouse, Jumbo seafood,shelter,jetty,bicycle shop.. sometimes when someone leaves memories are still so fresh. received a call fm him & it seem to haf put me back to deep tots & flow of emotions.. But i was still glad that kang guan spent his day wif me. My dear fren leaving for taiwan for a month, hope by e time he comes back he will see a refreshed joanna! hope the upcoming 1month wld be endurable.
had a super low peak over the past 2 wks thanks to the 2 天使 (joanna & kang guan).
你就是我的天使保护著我的天使
从此我再没有忧伤
你就是我的天使
给我快乐的天使
甚至我学会了飞翔
飞过人间的无常
才懂爱才是宝藏
不管世界变得怎黱样
只要有你就会是天堂
像孩子依赖著肩膀
像眼泪依赖著脸庞
你就像天使一样
给我依赖给我力量
像诗人依赖著月亮
像海豚依赖海洋
你是天使
你是天使
你是我最初和最后的天堂
theres so much thanks that i cant simply express in words..
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
10:21 PM
Tuesday, March 06, 2007;
6th of March a day that i would never forget.. Got the best present over the 2 yrs. Time snailed todae.
my plan at the swing for unwind ,was put off due to the rain.
Sat at e amk track for a long time..
seeing pple pacing up n down there,jogging, running aft e kids. I realised we r often too busy to slow down our pace to really see things n scenary. though they were parents running aft their kids,ah pek running behind his dog,clearing its shit n urine, i knew they were enjoying n happy wif wad they were doin which may simply mean,happiness. Mani of us used yrs n endless effort to seek for happiness nv did we realise, it can be jus so simple, anitime, aniwhere. sitting alone on the drains & realised e chapel opposite looks like a palace.. trees are so green n nice though they were weak they stood strong thru the big wind n rain.
started to haf some thoughts n pen them down..
生活到底因該是快樂或悲哀?
世界千萬人口,有多少使佣有快樂的人生
拿倒底老天爺是如何決定谁的人生是快樂的
或續一切都不過是一個輪盤轉皅了.一個人也許會有十二次來到人間過著命總早已注定的人生,一早已備安排,擺步好了.所以也許我們不需要覺得自己慘或可憐,也不用可憐比我們不幸的人.因為也許今世是他,來世就輪到你或我在同一個位置上.
總覺得下來凡間就以注定是受苦,打從一底達這世界就再第一時間被醫生狠打屁股,發出"啪"的醫聲,因此,我們發出,抗一的哭聲.也因此慘痛的人生也画上了起點.若你覺得人生有的選檡,那很有可能就是不哭.到底這樣會比較好嗎? 或許只有這樣才永遠不知道什麼是心和難過.
對我而言,我們就像天上的佛主,紳仙門眼總的阿哥阿姐門.我們最總的下場,做為導演,監製的他們已早安排好了.或許是用我們上輩子的成績單來分配的吧!
至于我自己的人生,我已走了20 多年了,未來是否會比較好,就要看老天的劇本了.如果我的下半輩子痛苦較多那我希望他不要讓我開心,日子貧貧,或許就沒那麼辛苦了.
那到底我這一生已經是我第幾輩子了? 是第一或是第十二了納?
********************************
i was so near & we dint see,
I hope over e yrs n nv got
when it finally comes,it aches the heart
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
7:56 AM
Sunday, March 04, 2007; raining dayz= emotional dayz
h
ad been raining these days.. some like, some dont.like it coz they can share an umbrella wif their love ones, strolling under e rain,cuddling together using one's warmth to warm the other.some dont, coz they dun wana be alone under e big umbrella.as for me, i dun haf an umbrella..i wana stand in e rain..weekend is over, all those who could spend time wif me has to get back to their work. Its another stretch of weekday torture.. hope sparks will strike off wif my books..
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
9:53 AM