Wednesday, April 25, 2007; still alive
im still alive dun worry..
Had been v busy these dazz..
busy wif wad ?
"shrungs"
Im now currently an "L" plate mugger
& i Noe im digging my own grave
i suddenli miss gim mo..
his favourite phrase "chui ^3"
my horoscope says tis wk its a slack week
n i wld be veri lethargic to complete wad im supposed to do
even if i haf e ability to do so.
---
Nod nodz!!
Leng say i nid to wash my hair everynite bt i reach hm almost 12 every nite v soon like wad he say he is gonna bring "yao jiu" to me n apply for me when im old haha.. true enough im feeline pain on my feet..
my heart, my soul, my organs n my body r getting old..
to get myself motivated im gonna put DOLLY's pic in front of me to study haha..
she wld stare at me haha..
im so bad i forgot it was sayseng's bdae.. hai.. Happy belated dude.. i mus rem in e upcoming yrs .. for all my frens bdae.. im incorrigible!
oh ya amk drive thru mac e new one is my often patronize plc. Its reli cold n nice wif greenerys n wind (outdoors) machiam studyin in the nature .. nite studi place, thumbs up!
& u noe somethin i feel so homely there
noe y ?
coz the damn place is full of SIM-ers!!!!
every 1 out of 3 tables are UOL students pple i haf nv seen in mylife bt i recognise them thru their yellow n white examiner report!@ wth.. SIM is like a bird shit on singapore map n so mani pple fm SIM
can u tink how much profit they earn ??? oh im sorry SIM "not" a profit organisation la!!!
bt its heartwarming to see so mani pple mugging together bt im a snail out of the ants!!
poor pple who wana dine in no seats.. --- Im guilty :P
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
5:53 AM
Tuesday, April 17, 2007;
is not a v good day
alone for audit as usual..
late by 30 mins
stomach was in great pain yest while studyin at cc yesterday
accompanied wif nausea n bloated stomach
i tot i was going to faint again
e fear astoguish again
fear tt i will faint in a toilet
without anione noticing
like wad old e old sayin always say, when u r in pain or desperate u will think of pple u reli like
was hoping tt he cld hold me to a doctor
i tot i was independent, i tot..
aniwae pain dint subside even till e morning
bt i knew i did to drag myself to sch
coz no one can help me
no one can lend me notes or whatsoever
was tryin to sell an ibm book to a guy which i tot he wld be appreciative at least
as bookshop is currently out of stock n haf no idea when stock wld be available
bt somehow i felt him v unsincere
& im definitely v upset
I ask if 38 was all rite
he tried to ask for a price of 18,as he claimed s.lounge someone was selling at the price
i went there to see i dint see ani 18, or maybe it was removed(maybe)
bt i feel it is definitely not gonna be a clean book
although my edition is one edition of diff
n is kind of v new wif cover.. i tot it wld be unfair to sell at the price
i feel tt he is pressing my price
i wonder if i was sensitive ( i tink so)
25 bucks quoted by him dint manage to clinch the deal
... i admit i was pissed although i nOe i shldnt be so petty coz afterall who wont bargain rite? bt a guy? ( im surprised!)
aniwae as a fellow student, i still hope he will do well in his exams.. (disappointed)
Dropped my SK diamond necklace.. damn!
though it was small diamonds bt its my 21st prezzie tt worth so much too me.
Im willing to lose my hp in exchange .
I seldom wear it bt tt day i jus had an urge though i was late.
Took the necklace onto bus to untangle. finally solved the entanglement.
As my nails were too long, i cant put it on decided to keep it safe in pocket first.
Hope he can help me put on during class.
Guess wad.. he dint come n e necklace is now lost!
its not so much abt the price bt guess is the most valuable tangible asset tt i can keep for memory sake.
Its gone. god u r so cruel.
U knew how mani OT hours was done just to buy that..
its the Best gift i ever had..
reported to SBS it was not found. I got a gut feelin i dropped it in the toilet.
Who ever who picked it up i hope u wld report it, pls do onto others what u hope others were to do unto u..
I believe in retribution.
queued for lotus soup for lunch. Aunty prepared my food in a tray bt instead on the ledge of the counter it was in the counter..
It was far for me to lift it up esp its 2 soup n 2 bowl of rice.
I did it slowli moreover it was v squeezy n jeff was sayin hi to me.
I dint reli stopped n chit chat bt aunty said "talk later, faster bring the tray out dun waste time hurry hurry!!" -- DUMBFOUNDED! i showed difficulty leaving it up she finali snatched my wallet n put it on the tray n lift it up for me..
askin me to start moving..
n next, the tray hit the soyasauce nxt moment i saw my jeans n my white school shoe tt i drew myself is pratially black!
suddenli i felt a gush of fire rose up to my chest!
I stoned there waitin for someone to pick tt up fm my shoe before i cld ever start moving again. But it wasnt Jeff was another girl. Thanks for lending a helping hand, god will bless u
best thing i went to toilet to try washing it off while washing i drop one of the sequence tat was on my shoe
jus b4 i cld pick it up, it stuck onto someone shoe n its gone!!
wad a luck huh!!!!!
its reli v frustrating these dayz maybe is bcoz i cooped myself in cc study for days i feel so dehumanized n i feel pple veri evil.. its so tiring sometimes to face others. Im losing hope bit by bit everyday for my papers. God pls support me.. coz i noe no one else can help me.
lastly another person who made my day is a one of the 3 guys who sat behind me for audit class for the past two lects. Its so coincidental. N maybe i look pathetic to him always alone, late n nv ask for help when i needed. On his way down to collect notes, he collected a copy for him. N noe wad i love him! coz i feel tt he is real human! wif a heart.. tts wad i tink our society shld be isnt it ?
coming from diff family, race we cld still love n care n help one another!!
thats wad the world shld be isn't it ? Singapore? haha.. forget it!!
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
6:43 AM
Sunday, April 08, 2007; GET HIGH!
Lucas!! who say u haf never seen me happy ? today im happy muahahha!!!
went nokia to ask for fone repair bt as my warranty has ended, i nid to pay 100+ to get it done, so.. i wld get a new fone instead..
went cut hair at LE salon again. leng cut my hair again.. he's wif a new funky set of grey ash hair.. sibeh hip! its nice to chat wif him, no matter how foul mood he is in, he will still joke ard wif u . Yup its gonna be my permanent regular salon! For pple who wans to try sincere salon wif good advice on hair care tips shld seriousli consider. Its at AMK ave 10 near teckghee cc aka ( my second home)
Read e papers, dint noe e girl always in my lecture class her surname oso BOH! Berlinda Boh!! She stays in amk, same age as me too n visits e same mac as me! But she is rated Hotties of amk! ME ? ... unrated.. (haha)
went an hr shop at orchard in search of my bro's girl-fren's bdae present. Not so close de still buy 12.90 worth of earrings haha.. we uni frens sometimes one person onli 5 bucks lol (e older e miser c")
Bought a super hot cum lian tube fm future state

dunno y dun ask me. Sometimes wad u buy links directly wif ur mood. Like wad me n leng tinks.. when u r down or jus kena ditch u wld be impulsive to cut ur hair.. a new look = new start..
My bro bought a little ana sui mirror for me (indirectly for me coz it was supposed to be for her) n e lady gave us a free hair clip.. ORANGE CARROT!!! muhaha.. super ah girl!

attention!! hippest granny in singapore & jb!!!
Rap!!! she is damn good man!
DIY nails which brought about compliments fm leng as "fm far it looks damn nice"haa.. ( bt gonna bid them goodbye tonite)

last bt not least.. song that expresses my mood of the day == sexy back!!
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
11:55 PM
Friday, April 06, 2007;
we chatted on msn,
To me, my god is
" this "invisible friend" to talk to when u're down"
Whenever i feel v low n empty i wld go to temple alone n pray. Even if u wan me to sit there for half hour i wld. I feel so much beta aft saying my prayers n worries. Even if i cant get my wish granted. I feel relieved.
It reminds me of when im young, although im nt a catholic, whenever i feel intimidated or im fearful of wad my dad is gonna do to me tt nite, i wld cross my fingers n start praying. Sometimes even standing outside the chapel. This is how vulnerable human beings are.. Often when we tink there r things we cant control or no longer hang in there, we pray, all diff god of diff religion. We still pray. Coz i believe all god does the same mission, that is to inspire n help. For pple who study christianity wld of coz say god does more den tis.
Glad tt he no longer feel empty coz he had found wad he wans in life.
as for me, i tink i still need some time to ponder..
Right now my goal is to find a career that i like & be able to earn as much to support my family (but he see tis as his long term goal bt not ultimate goal, :) ) dear god pls let me Noe wad i wan in life.. Im so envious of people who found their goal in life.
glad tt he wld be back in a month time.. meetin him is gonna be stressful, a kind of stress tt i cant express in words.
today is the 730th day.. n tis is it.
My 2 best pals are facing the lowest pt of their r/s.. heart sinks seeing them drowning themselves.
愛不到要愛的人痛苦, 愛上不該愛的也痛苦,相愛的人同樣痛苦.. 愛一定要經力痛苦才會甜嗎?
愛情,這玩兒,就算了吧
只想要一顆健康,案穩的心.. 健康的生體,來面對將要來令的事物!
加油! 淑慧!
I cry and I weep... Because of you...
2:50 AM
Monday, April 02, 2007;
yest morning was hell of a hell, but i tried to control my mood n i swear i tried real hard.
aft class when zara wif ah leong, guess tis girl got hell lotz of commission tis month..! never seen her spent so much on shopping ever. Zara haf got few nice dresses so we haf decided to buy n share.. i wonder how..
sec sch gathering in e evening.. met up wif pple tt i haf never seen for abt 7 yrs & ate fav fish n co. that was pretty satisfying other den e 2 hour queue n the not so fresh sotongs. If i ever wana eat again i suggest to haf it at the doby branch or amk hub which would soon be available.
i dunno wad the hell my dad did to my camera! it reli boils my blood thank god he is my dad if not, i wonder wad i wld do. When i buy, scold me n say its a waste of money blah blah blah now wana use.. n never handle it wif care!!! its always the case! God how mani yrs of such shld i go thru?
Went k box for an hour at a rate of 23+++ for 2 instead of 4. I guess we were mad i noe. glad they dint chase us out, instead we sang for 2 hour plus, it could be more if it wasnt 3am.. Thank mum for the understanding for gifin me a chance to unwind a little as i hardly cld be a late cinderella. Thank god dad isnt in singapore. if nt yest can never be impossible.
Blur picz!



today, decided to study at cc though leong wasnt joining.
Woke up v late bt guess it was a good slp since then.
Ivan called to say he will bring me sushi for my dinner nOeing i wld study till 930. (such a nice friend) as he cld nt eat due to his surgery of his wisdom tooth. I wana pluck mine too.. but no money + courage.. God bless me, pls dun let them hurt during exam period like last yr.
He knocked the window of the study room when i was in there wif mani others. Jus when i stepped up of the room i met my new love Jovian ! he SMILED at me n open his wide arms hinting me to carry him!!! so sweet boy!! fed him sushi n accompanied ivan n him to get sweets..
Sad to hear tat he stays spend most of his time in childcare as his parents gave birth to him at a young age n got divorced.. its so hurtful for a kid for such a childhood. so pple, tink b4 u act!!
lucky Jovian has his grandma, aunt n ivan who dotes him so much, so i guess he is still a lucky boy afterall. ( see all grandma loves their gandchild more den parents , like me :) )
edited pic of jovian.. bet he wld be a shuai ge jus like rain probably in the near future haha..
he simply loves pple to carry him, love crab meat n his "cai cai" --> refers to seaweed of the sushi haha.. tIS dude has a big appetite. Wld treat bring him out aft my exams!! so i gonna save up now.. tis dude can reli eat alotzz if we dint stop him he wld haf finish the whole box of sushi!


i finali get to feel how is it being a mummy.. is v tiring goin after him n making him happy.. I guess i will never make up to that mark.. :)
Tis was sent by ivan , edited version haha..
(i tink i look ugly lol.. im a queen wif a crown n tie? so m i a guy or a girl ? haha..)

I cry and I weep... Because of you...
12:34 AM